Waitress flirting for tip? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-23-2012, 09:00 PM Thread Starter
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Waitress flirting for tip?


I have been wondering if waitresses flirt to get better tips. Waitresses flirt with me often, I like it but are they flirting for tips? Maybe they do it because they see that I'm shy, I don't really know. I was just wondering if anyone else has this happen to them or if anyone that worked as a waitress knows if its common.
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-23-2012, 09:14 PM
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Well do you consider yourself good looking? Do you have a stone face or a nervous face when your sitting? If you show confidence in a quiet way like eminem does then they are probably flirting with you becuase they like you. If your always looking shy and insecure then they are probably trying to get a good tip out of you. A good way to tell this is go to the diner or wherever you eat and tip a bit below average then come back the next day at the same time so they remember you and see if they are still all over your dick. If they are, they probably like you but if not they want money which is typical with hot waiters these days.
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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-23-2012, 09:23 PM
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honestly. yes i do think they "flirt" to get a bigger tip because imagine if you were working in a job that you depend on tips to make ends meet or atleast to get some much welcomed extra income. wouldn't you be extra nice to your clientele? but then again what do u mean by flirting? I say enjoy it. whether its because they like you or to get a bigger tip =)
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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-23-2012, 09:30 PM
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If a waitress flirts with you and you want to know if she's doing it for tips you can always watch her and see if she flirts with other clients or just you.

You've heard of it before, sex sells.
They are probably just wanting some tips.
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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-23-2012, 09:36 PM Thread Starter
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Thats me in my avatar. I usually am more confident talking to waitresses than women somewhere else. I do give them the "you look amazing" look when I talk to them. I always tip the same so it doesn't work if they do it for tips. I will try what you said and see how it goes.

I do enjoy it so I guess you're right, it really doesn't matter.
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-23-2012, 09:39 PM
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Most waitresses flirt. They will call you "hun," "love," or whatever. They say the same things to other customers. Just watch and listen how they talk to others. They are trying to feed your ego so you will give them more money or they are trying to encourage you to come back again later. Don't fall for it.

Although, I will admit that I go to a local pub because the waitresses there are uber-attractive. I would go anyways for the poker, but they act as extra incentive.
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-23-2012, 09:47 PM
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Next time they flirt try talking to them as if your talking to some random guy you just met and show no interest in them because when they see how interested you are in them that gives them the confidence to continue trying to get money out of you. Make them feel nervous for serving you but im not gunna lie lol its hard to look into a cute girls eyes who is smiling and try to not smile back. Just show them you dont give a **** about them and your just there for the food but tip and say thank you and all the other stuff and see how they treat you then.
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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-23-2012, 11:41 PM
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yes, they flirt for tips! They don't get much of an hourly wage, and they will do everything short of sex to get that money. I know quite a few waitresses who do it, and i've done it myself.

It's not only waitresses, it's strippers male/female, etc., it just looks more "fake" when a guy does it versus a female.

Unfortunately, most guy's egos overcome reality, and when you're coming off the shift, there they are standing in the parking lot. Some guys got really pissed of when we have to explain to them, "it's just my job"... I've seen quite a few waitresses get called a "wh%$#re" or "****" because they "flirted" for money/tips.

I've also had this happen even in the medical field. It's "drummed in our heads" about customer service. Unfortunately, even smiling can be taken as "flirting" in some cases.

Smiling is something that is well-practiced, as well as our "Laugh" - i kid you not. The last facility i worked in CA, we had to do a "Laugh Class".. If we didn't "Laugh" well enough to pass the exam, it had to be repeated.

I agree with someone else who posted. Just see how the waitress interacts with other customers. If she acts the same with all of the males? She's just working hard for her money.
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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 12:03 AM
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Maybe they just want to be nice, and are looking to make some pleasant banter to make the day go by and to make the customer happy? It can get pretty grueling being on your feet all day and serving food and what not.

Why put a new address, on the same old loneliness?
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 12:04 AM
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That's Restaurant Service 101: Flatter the customer.

There will be people they like flirting with and are genuine about it, and there will be others they wouldn't otherwise give the time of day. Then there's everyone in between.

As for where you fit, yeah, you'd have to observe how she treats everyone else.


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post #11 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 01:00 AM
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I know they do this at Hooters, but like a sucker, I keep going back.
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post #12 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 09:48 AM
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Waitress flirting for tip?


SAS should have a forum titled "Duh" for questions like this.


(no disrespect, brother. jus sayin')
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post #13 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 09:55 AM
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Of course. I know many waitresses that use this tactic. It's been proven that guys will give bigger tips in those scenarios.
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post #14 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 09:59 AM
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Do women flirt with you a lot, when the exchange of money isn't involved? If yes, then maybe...

They say it doesn't hurt.

-Carl McCunn
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post #15 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 10:07 AM
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Short answer...yes, they do.

My sister was a waitress, and she used to flirt all the time to get better tips.

Also, those bartenders that flirt with you? They want better tips.



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post #16 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 10:19 AM
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Oh yeah, women will flirt to get just about anything, especially money. That's why there are way more female servers out in the restaurant biz. They flirt = more money for them and a customer who will surely come back. Everybody wins except the dude being set up and doesn't even know it.

This happened to me all throughout high school, which can explain some of my bitterness when I hear guys being taking advantage of in such a way.
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post #17 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 07:17 PM
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What do you mean by flirting though? I am a guy and I work a job that involves some tips (not a waiter). But I do joke around with the customers and give them good service to influence them in the right direction. I feel it's just a part of the job.....treat the customers well.

So what exactly are the waitresses doing that makes you feel they are flirting rather than just providing good service?
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post #18 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 07:25 PM
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Bro, the waitress doesn't care about you. She only wants your money.
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post #19 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 09:14 PM
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[QUOTE=rweezer36;1060061336]I went to this strip club once, and the girl I bought a lapdance from said I was a "hottie" at the get-go. As I tipped her more and more, her hidden feelings began to unravel like buttered yarn; she truly, madly, deeply wanted me. After the dance was over, she said she had a boyfriend and it could never be. We were star-crossed, doomed from happenstance, as many true loves are. So, my point is, if some girls are fake-flirty to you at their workplace, don't assume all of them are. Most of them, like Candy (what a beautiful name, kudos to her parents), are being completely earnest.[/QUOTE]

i really doubt that.. looks like Candy's got a great script, and is a wonderful actress. i noticed she came back to reality real quick when the lap dance was over, and the tip was taken. Smart girl.

and what the heck is "buttered yarn"?
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post #20 of 22 (permalink) Old 05-16-2019, 01:28 PM
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It’s their job to be friendly with you. However, if the waitress is going out of her way to talk to you, compared to what she is doing at other tables, that might be a sign of something more especially given her time constraints. I would not say that most waitresses “flirt” with their clientele for better tips. Friendliness, yes, but not so much flirting. A lot of men take very basic friendliness as flirting. If she is clearly flirting, I’d say that could also be a sign of something more. Now, she might go along with your flirting just to not offend you, but if she comes on to you, I think it has a good chance of being something more. Waitresses take the risk of reducing their tip by fake flirting in an obvious manner and it’s a costly pain to be inauthentic all the time, so being friendly is what they usually resort to if their concern is solely for their tip.
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