To Those 25+ Year Olds Who Never Had A Job, Share Your Thoughts - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 48 (permalink) Old 01-29-2017, 11:32 PM Thread Starter
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post #2 of 48 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 06:10 AM
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Guess everyone here has had jobs. I only recently got my first proper job that I have stuck with last year at 27. Before that I did have jobs that I quit with in the first few weeks. Am around 6 months into this job and have high anxiety of getting fired and being jobless for life.
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post #3 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 06:57 AM
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Dont feel bad ,the fact tat you dont have a job its nothing so bad and that you stay wit you parents also its not bad .The fact that you finish an university its very good watch the pozitive things ,many people dont have highschool or they cannot finish it because of theyr anxiety .You are young and you have all time in the world to work .Be pozitive
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post #4 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 07:41 AM
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I have had jobs but never stuck with any for a long period of time currently im really struggling had so many interviews but no job out of it been unemployed for like almost a year now
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post #5 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 07:50 AM
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40 years old, live with my parents, and have never had a job, not even babysitting for family. I have no advice for finding a job since I'm on SSI for my SA, sorry. :/

If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.

***

(Devetko's boyfriend Stan Brooks & Det. Reichert are horsing around.)

Det. Kristeva: "If it were legal you'd marry me, right?"
Det. Devetko: "Definitely."

(It's legal now!! But Kristeva's already married. ;_; )

***

"No canoes...no maple sugar...this place is horribly uncivilized."--Manabozho, Escape From Manitou Island
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post #6 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 03:03 PM
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Well I'm 30, I do not live with my parents, and I've never had a job. From about 19 to 25 I lived with my sister and babysat my nephews for her while she and her husband worked. It made me feel like I was at least useful in some way. After that their situation changed and they didn't need my help anymore. I've since been splitting a 2 bedroom apartment with a room mate. Like tehuti88 above I'm on SSI for my SA, which is how I'm able to pay for my half of the bills.

I often feel a lot of shame about the fact I've never had a job. It makes me feel like a worthless, useless person. I'm working on improving myself and my SA, but even if/when I do get better, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to get a job. I have no degree of any kind, and even minimum wage jobs will be leery of a 30+ year old with no job history. Not to mention many minimum wage jobs involve dealing with lots of people(waiting tables, cashier at a store etc.) which would be exactly the most difficult kind of job for me to face with my SA.

I really wish I had any useful advice to give you, but I don't.
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post #7 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 10:13 AM
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It's embarrassing but I never had a paid job, I had 2 interships and I worked for my dad for a while. In my defense I'm still a student and my family is like that too, I live with my mum and 25 year old brother, my brother never had any kind of job, and my mum almost never had a job, we have mental problems. My dad had some bussinesses with his brother but he's lazy too, he was mostly working part-time for his dad.
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post #8 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 10:22 AM
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I'm 33 and been an intern here and there, never had a real job.

But I make good being a freelance developer.

And I'm sure every straight male want a cute female stalker, but she was wayy crossing the line. One of the reasons I don't go back there any more.

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post #9 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 11:01 AM
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I've had loads of jobs since leaving school but they've all been poorly paid, dead end ones. I've worked in offices, doing general duties (fortunately not designated tea boy!). I've worked in retail, customer service in supermarkets. Haven't really learnt any new practical skills from doing these jobs but obviously, working in retail meant interacting with people so that helped somewhat in improving my confidence.

I also have a degree but who doesn't these days. I did Criminology with Psychology which i really enjoyed but I need a career. I would have liked to have liked to have joined the police but unfortunately i developed epilepsy. I'm in my early 30's so time isn't on my side. I'm fed up of working in min wage jobs but there isn't really an alternative. I'd literally go crazy being stuck at home jobless!

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post #10 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 04:04 PM
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I also have a degree but who doesn't these days. I did Criminology with Psychology which i really enjoyed but I need a career.
Cool degree.
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post #11 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 04:47 PM
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I also have a degree but who doesn't these days.
I don't have a degree.
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post #12 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 07:24 PM
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I'm 25 and I only had 2 work placements and worked for sister's fiance for a couple months. I could've stayed at my second work placement but I didn't like the type of work and the hours. No work since then.

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post #13 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-05-2017, 09:18 AM
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Did you read the thread title or details at all?
Apologies. I've been out of work now since March so although i have worked previously i know how difficult it is not having a job and how that can leave one feeling. I'm currently lacking in confidence and self-respect because i'm also living with my parents in a small town and i'm embarassed.

My plans are to begin volunteering at my local library, hopefully starting this week. I'll do that for a few months to build my confidence and then i'll actively start looking for work. I'm actually thinking about becoming a head librarian so the volunteering may be a stepping stone for me.

My parents support and want what's best for me and i pay my way but i don't want to be at home, i want to become independant. My advice would be try to look for volunteer work to start.

Good luck.

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post #14 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 05:01 AM
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^^^ Staff note: The post above this has been deleted.

Though it reminds me of a conversation I've had with a coworker this week. I'm a temp min wage worker there, some kind of unqualified assistant basically, he and the other men there are qualified and get good pay. I asked him why he thinks they only hire women for the type of work I'm doing (the temp agency said it's because women have better fine motor skills, well I'm a trembling, clumsy mess!). He said 'Men wouldn't work for the wage you're getting. Only women would do that. Honestly, I'd just apply for benefits. I'd never work for such a low wage'. lol I was thinking the guy has no idea. Kind of amazing.

Last edited by Silent Memory; 02-06-2017 at 08:42 PM. Reason: Note added.
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post #15 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 05:20 AM
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I have no degree of any kind, and even minimum wage jobs will be leery of a 30+ year old with no job history. Not to mention many minimum wage jobs involve dealing with lots of people(waiting tables, cashier at a store etc.) which would be exactly the most difficult kind of job for me to face with my SA.
Try factories you don't have to deal with many people there. Often it's noisy so less pressure to talk to people. At the last factory I worked most people were immigrants who didn't speak our language, so I had no pressure or possibility to converse with them.
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post #16 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 05:30 AM
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I also have a degree but who doesn't these days.
When you worked in retail didn't people keep bugging you about getting a better job because you have a degree? People ask me if I don't feel ashamed or they hope I'll wake up one day and do something better. A man even said to me I'm stealing jobs from refugees. oO A 14 yo Syrian girl would be so thankful to have my job (he's a bit dumb and what he suggests isn't even possible).

It's so frustrating that I'm making an effort to work and people are ridiculing me. I can't tell them I am mentally ill and socially inept and can't do anything better.
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post #17 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 10:33 AM
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Staff note - The post that was quoted here has been deleted.
Your post is exactly the reason so few have responded in this thread. We already have received plenty of ridicule and shame. I assure you, its nothing we haven't heard before, and shuts down conversation. I congratulate you on your success overcoming your SA, but try to remember that your situation is not our situation. You don't know all the things we have been through and dealt with in our lives from one small forum post.

Its funny how in anything, people will say "just try" yet refuse to acknowledge it when someone tries and fails.

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Try factories you don't have to deal with many people there. Often it's noisy so less pressure to talk to people. At the last factory I worked most people were immigrants who didn't speak our language, so I had no pressure or possibility to converse with them.
Thanks for the useful suggestion. I hadn't considered those aspects of working at a factory.

Last edited by Silent Memory; 02-06-2017 at 08:44 PM. Reason: I added a note.
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post #18 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 10:53 AM
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So sorry I have a disorder and am not as fortunate as you in being able to overcome it. Not like I'm proud of being a parasite or anything. But it was either this, or have our power and gas shut off permanently. Guess which I "chose." Not that it was much of a choice, it gets into the single digits here in the winter and our house is drafty. I'd take having heat and power over having pride any day.

Don't worry that it's easy-peasy for me though, I have to jump through hoops every three years--fill out loads of forms, get all sorts of documentation, fill out loads of forms a second time, travel long distance (when I can't drive) to talk to a strange shrink, spend nights agonizing over whether we'll be able to pay the bills until I find out if I'm approved, ponder killing myself if I'm rejected so I won't be a burden on my parents anymore, etc.--to convince them I'm still disabled. So hey, I do kind of have to work for it, they don't just hand me a check.

...

I'm always amazed at the disability shaming there is on this site. This is the last place I'd expect to be ridiculed for having anxiety. Should we also shame the person who succumbed to a terminal disease instead of going into remission just because somebody else got better...?

If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.

***

(Devetko's boyfriend Stan Brooks & Det. Reichert are horsing around.)

Det. Kristeva: "If it were legal you'd marry me, right?"
Det. Devetko: "Definitely."

(It's legal now!! But Kristeva's already married. ;_; )

***

"No canoes...no maple sugar...this place is horribly uncivilized."--Manabozho, Escape From Manitou Island
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post #19 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 06:08 PM
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Hey this is me!
I'm 25 and never held an actual job (I do some work on the internet but not enough to sustain myself). I actually went on my first job interview 2 months back (the only one I've ever been on) and it went okay. The annoying thing about depression though is the inconsistency. Even if I had gotten that job, I would have been let go within a week because I immediately fell into a deep depressive bout. This year is going to be different though. For better or worse this year will be a major decider in my life.

I can't really give advice on the topic. I feel like something just has to click and every individual has a different trigger. Whether it be a person, a book, or just an epiphany. For some that never comes. I'm searching as hard as I can for mine right now.
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post #20 of 48 (permalink) Old 02-06-2017, 06:52 PM
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I had a job when i was 14, i delivered mail.

But other than that i never had a job, i would like too but since i am extremly ugly i feel too ashamed to have a job. Having a job would force me too work with people and the same people everyday, without a cap to hide my face. There is no chance i can do it. If i knew that they would not laugh and mock me then yeah, but i know i will get bullied, i always get bullied over how i look everywhere.
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