"... to see ourselves as others see us ..." - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-01-2007, 07:12 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Age: 41
Posts: 4,713

"... to see ourselves as others see us ..."


Do you ever watch someone make a fool of themself on a reality show, upsetting others, and frustratedly think, "how can they not realise what they're saying??". It strikes me that I probably do these kind of things all the time, and its what leads to a lot of the problems I have with alienating people.

Something I've had going around in my mind forever is, how do I come across to others? Sometimes I veer from being super-aware of how I'm behaving and tryig to control it, and other times I just don't care. With both situations I can experience negative reactions, though more with the former.

I would love someone to follow me around with a hidden camera so that I can watch it back and see how I come across to people, and maybe learn from my mistakes. I have tried it with a dictaphone (I know about privacy laws - I didn't break any, honest!!) but it doesnt bring out the facial expressions and body language.

Using the dictaphone gave me a more detached view of myself. I did learn that I'm very 'concrete' - I don't tend to flow with a conversation and can kill the moment by rigidly focusing on one topic or trying to 'be right'. Sometimes I sound pretentious or stuck up. I've been trying to correct this, but I know it happens when I'm experiencing SA, like an automatic reaction.

Anyone else tried this? I guess this kind of feedback is the type that people without SA probably get from other people.

The video might make for painful viewing but it may also be very informative. Anyone in Aberdeen, Scotland with a video camera and time on their hands??

Ross

On to concentrate on bright things Stuck around in hopes to help, didnt seem like there was much left I could do anymore ... good luck and comfort to those who are on their own path and hope for those yet to take their first step! Much Love
yeah_yeah_yeah is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-01-2007, 07:44 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Age: 41
Posts: 4,713

re: "... to see ourselves as others see us ..."


Does that mean you won't come and film me?



Ross

On to concentrate on bright things Stuck around in hopes to help, didnt seem like there was much left I could do anymore ... good luck and comfort to those who are on their own path and hope for those yet to take their first step! Much Love
yeah_yeah_yeah is offline  
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-01-2007, 07:53 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Age: 41
Posts: 4,713

re: "... to see ourselves as others see us ..."


Thats ok, just use the 'zoom' button.



Ross

On to concentrate on bright things Stuck around in hopes to help, didnt seem like there was much left I could do anymore ... good luck and comfort to those who are on their own path and hope for those yet to take their first step! Much Love
yeah_yeah_yeah is offline  
 
post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-01-2007, 09:09 AM
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,490

re: "... to see ourselves as others see us ..."


I've always been the type who wanted to be right or prove my point, or be witty or a one upper. If I took a step back i'd probably find myself to be self centered and a bit arrogant. I would never want to see myself on film, i'd cringe. I'm learning that socializing is more about going with the flow, blending, staying on the surface and being positive. Just trying to stay conscious of not being a devils advocate or getting too philosophical, when just chit chatting.
embers is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-01-2007, 10:38 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Age: 41
Posts: 4,713

Re: re: "... to see ourselves as others see us ..."


Quote:
Originally Posted by zengirl
Just trying to stay conscious of not being a devils advocate or getting too philosophical, when just chit chatting.
Wow I do this all the time, and yeah I know I lose people when I do it. I once had a psychometric profile done of me that came up with "candidate is likely to take a contrary stance to team opinion - likes to go against the flow". I realised its true, but I have no idea why I do it.

I guess I'm just a contrary kind of guy.

Ross

On to concentrate on bright things Stuck around in hopes to help, didnt seem like there was much left I could do anymore ... good luck and comfort to those who are on their own path and hope for those yet to take their first step! Much Love
yeah_yeah_yeah is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-01-2007, 11:50 AM
ThirdEyeGrind
 
ThirdEyeGrind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Posts: 1,284

re: "... to see ourselves as others see us ..."


Alot of the time, I'll say something to someone and it'll come off the wrong way. Almost, in a mean way even though I had no intention. Alot of the time people will say stuff to me like "I'm just joking with ya" when I'm fully aware of it, I guess the looks on my face and my reaction makes them think I can't take a joke. My father says that I'm always "debating" everything with him like I have to win or something. Even though I don't intentionally do this, he's right but its too late to realize it once I've said what I've said.
ThirdEyeGrind is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Me: *talking too low or too fast* Other person: "Huh?" "What?" Does this irritate you forever_dreamer Coping With Social Anxiety 21 09-09-2012 07:58 PM
"quiet" = "freak" = "don't want to be your friend" sadguy Coping With Social Anxiety 39 09-09-2012 04:18 PM
Can someone please explain the terms "doubles" and "trebles" in relation to alcohol? Tangent General Discussion 4 11-09-2009 03:15 PM
Release Date: "Death Race", "Street Fighter", "Alvin 2" TorLin Entertainment 4 08-30-2008 05:36 PM
"be happy." "dont be sad. Youre a great person." Hailz91 Frustration 7 03-29-2008 12:43 AM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome