I've did some thinking... And came to an interesting aspect.
If you fear that you may start feeling anxious for no good reason - well that's like a ticking bomb, it's no good and can cause lots of different anxiety disorders including SA.
You may not even fear being rejected or anything specific at the beginning, but the fear of becoming anxious itself makes you anxious which in turn powers the fear itself even more and as you enter this vicious cycle if at the time you are around people, you inevitably start acting awkward, your voice starts trembling, so on and so forth, it's not hard to predict what thoughts would follow afterwards - "I'am not good around people", "I don't have enough social skills", "I'am socially awkward" etc etc..
So I've been thinking, what are the rational and logical ways to deal with this fear of anxiety or 'fear of fear' ?
Like, why would you NOT fear of being anxious, in other words - based on what facts could we say that the fear of anxiety is irrational and why is it irrational?
Yeah, you bring up a good point. I've thought about this a lot over the years, because I really do believe that some (maybe a lot) of it boils down to a fear of the fear.
I think it depends though. What I mean is, it's not always that simple I guess. The best I've been able to determine is, my anxiety started because I learned at a really, really young age not to trust. A lot (most?) people are not trustworthy, and you should always question their intentions. I learned this from my abuser, through years of repeated abuse, so I guess you can say it was like the thoughts were reinforced, over and over again...her behavior would prove to me repeatedly, through years, that she was not to be trusted and that if I stepped out of line the whole world might or might not come crashing down, depending on her mood I guess, and who else may or may not be around. The world can be a very violent and unpredictable place, that was my world growing up.
I've always felt like I never really fit in...always....since the first day of preschool when I was four years old. So it's always been there.
I've been in therapy (on and off, mostly on) for the last thirty years. In my mind I've known for a long time that none of the abuse was my fault (I think) but it's difficult, maybe impossible to get rid of those feelings of mistrust.
I could go through therapy for another thirty years, unless I take a dirt nap before then, and I don't think my mindset would change much, because of the things that were reinforced over and over again so many times at such an early age. I know a lot of my fear is irrational. But I also can't deny that a lot of it is rational.
The facts are that the world can be a very violent, unpredictable place, you really have to be very, very careful who you trust.
I hate to say it but some of the lessons my abuser taught me turned out to be at least partially true. It really kills me to say that, to put it that way but I think it's true.
So, I think a lot of the fear, for myself anyways, is rational. Not sure if this will make sense to anyone but me, but well, there it is, for me.