The stress of having friends! - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-08-2019, 07:30 PM Thread Starter
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The stress of having friends!


Inspired by that thread "the stress of having no friends" I have the opposite. Friends wanting to meet up for a drink of dinner or anything else. I hate it, if they decided to ignore me for the rest of my life I would be perfectly ok with it. Now as it is it only happens about 5 times a year that they want to socialize because they actually have a busy life (unlike me) but even that is still too much for me. I always look for excuses not to go. I feel very anxious for days before the meeting happens (probably because they accomplished so much and I'm one who compares all the time)

They are really good friends though, I've known them since high school and I'm way past school but I just don't feel like seeing them...ever. In my opinion we've grown too much apart, they have kids and a wife, I still live with my parents jobless. I've got literally nothing to talk about, except for the past which I rather forget because I'm very nostalgic and it brings me down regularly.
Back in the school days I had fun because we were all equal, we were all students but once I graduated the feel good life evaporated , they grew up, got goals and ambition and I left standing on the spot trying to figure out what I like/dislike. I found literally nothing to go for.
For me life has nothing to offer and I keep that for myself because if I opened up about that I think they would try to get me in therapy or something. I don't want therapy, I don't think it can be helped that I think the way I think. I just got born unlucky and I patiently wait till I'm old.

I feel very very uncomfortable in public especially when I'm with someone else, I had hoped by now that they would have given up contacting me but alas. I often fantasize of living on a remote Island all by myself.

Wanted this of my chest because they texted me to meet up so the anxiety is kicking in. I already excused myself though but knowing them they can't take no for an answer...

Who can relate?
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-08-2019, 08:06 PM
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I saw your title and I immediately clicked on it. I don't hang out often with my college friends. When I do I've started to feel uncomfortable because I've felt they've taken advantage of me. I'm always the one driving up to them (they live about 30 miles away) and will not drive to me, telling me it's too far. So in that respect I am frustrated. I am working on myself right, caring more about myself, me me me me. I'm starting to learn to appreciate who I am and what I have (even if it's not much). In your post I hear resignation and self-pity. That also frustrates me because it reminds me of me. I too feel that sometimes, but I'm trying to work towards getting out of here. It's never too late to make that shift. It doesn't matter how long it takes, I want to keep striving. No matter how many times I fall.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-09-2019, 04:29 AM
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From what I've learned... you are only as good as a friend as you are looked up to and respected by them.


Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old Today, 02:59 PM
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I've learned a lot about not putting myself after my friends through this website: surgicalcoaching.net. It helped me a lot.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old Today, 03:23 PM
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me too its really hard


im 16 im at high school like you but i dint know a lot of people in my school but actually yes i know them all but the problem is that im always afraid of talking to peolple maybe cause i dont have enough self confidence to talk.
I ve been through a lot of humiliation and judgments when i was a child and even now Im always afraid of what people thiink of me cause yeah they made me be like that they always humiliates and called me names because of my appearence which i emproved a lot these period and I think that im so pretty and i ve got a good face but thats not enough there is something in my mind holding me from alking to people and making relationships and freinds.I cant forget my past and my very sad childhood full of humiliation.
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