The one most helpful tip - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 04:48 AM Thread Starter
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The one most helpful tip


If you were to give one tip, one thing that helps you cope?
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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 06:07 AM
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"It passes, it always has".

This applies to anxiety / panic, mood problems, ocd. Sometimes it's all I have.

Enough about me, lets talk about you, what do you think about me?
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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 12:03 PM
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If you were to give one tip, one thing that helps you cope?
Until you learn that other's throught aren't true, I would say live spontaneously. If you don't plan how to talk, what you will say, how you will stand etc, then you won't have time to think the thoughts that make you nervous. Just basically don't perform, but go with the flow. Don't plan to say anything, just say it as it comes to you. And you always have the option to stay quiet, so no pressure.
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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 12:17 PM
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my handy tip would be... all those people around you with their cars and meat and disgusting habits are pathetic and theres no reason to buy into their social hierarchy bull****. dont feel bad about not producing anything while the majority are only producing suffering.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 03:36 PM
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Try to be kind to yourself. Try to have compassion and understanding towards your struggles. Give yourself a break and give yourself credit for the small steps you do make in the face of what is overwhelmingly difficult for you. If you're suffering mentally and emotionally, the last thing you need is more pressure, criticism, comparison and put downs. Human beings thrive with acceptance, care, love, understanding, validation, support, encouragement, patience, etc. All the good things. Do your best to give yourself any of those things daily. The smallest bit helps. (This is why unconditional positive regard is the backbone of most therapies. Also why there's a major emphasis on the therapeutic relationship being the most important part of therapy.)

Miles to go before I sleep.

Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 05:06 PM
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Abandon society. Flee into the woods! Live simple! Live naked! Be free! Fly, you fools!
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 05:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
"It passes, it always has".

This applies to anxiety / panic, mood problems, ocd. Sometimes it's all I have.
This has been the most helpful mantra for me, when all else fails.
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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 08:28 PM
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The realization that being friendly, even if it comes off as overbearing, is better than the alternative of doing nothing. Even if you are weird, own it and people will think you're cooler for it if you do it in a confident way. People don't judge as much as you may think. And if they do, then that says more about them, spending their time sitting around and talking about other people instead of working on themselves to become better people. So I guess as cheesy as it sounds, let people see your true self. Wouldn't you rather go through this life owning your unique interests and living your values?
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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 08:45 PM
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Alcohol, Alcohol, Alcohol.
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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 08:55 PM
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When it all gets to be too much, go to bed. It won't fix anything but I find that usually when I'm worked up into a frenzy, I'm actually usually more tired than I realize and it makes the weight of it that much more to be near exhausted and anxious and worried about heavy things on top of that. It never helps to be worried and worn out at the same time. Occasionally a fresh mind and a new day does at least bring some relief.

/WYSD
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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-18-2019, 10:08 PM
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I have more than one, but I don’t listen to them myself most of the time.

* Look at the people around you and pay attention for a few minutes, especially when you’re looking at people who might remind you of yourself in some ways or have features you see as flaws in yourself. Are you thinking negatively about them? Is anyone staring at them? You’ll notice that you’re not thinking negatively and that no one is acting differently around them. It’s a parade of strangers, and no one knows each other or anything about their lives and personalities. No one has a reason to hate people they don’t know, so no one here hates you.

* Everyday is a new day and could be a fresh start for you. If you made a mistake yesterday, it’s okay because today and tomorrow have no mistakes in them yet and you can try again.

* Most things will be scarier in your imagination, especially if you overthink. Try the things you’re scared of. You might surprise yourself.

* No one is perfect and it’s not possible for everyone to like you. If you think of a celebrity “everyone likes” and then search for them on Google, you might find news articles about mistakes they’ve made or things they did that have annoyed people. It didn’t stop them doing what they’re famous for or give anything up. If they were a singer or author and some people don’t like one of their CDs or books, it doesn’t stop them making more. Why should you stop doing things you like because others don’t think you’re good at it? They don’t have to like it.

* You (most likely) have never killed or hurt anyone and never would. Even people who have done these things have fans and people who like them. Why should everyone hate you?

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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-19-2019, 03:18 PM
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Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
When it all gets to be too much, go to bed. It won't fix anything but I find that usually when I'm worked up into a frenzy, I'm actually usually more tired than I realize and it makes the weight of it that much more to be near exhausted and anxious and worried about heavy things on top of that. It never helps to be worried and worn out at the same time. Occasionally a fresh mind and a new day does at least bring some relief.

I have (kind of) another one. But of course it's only worth what you're paying for it and it's coming from someone who isn't doing any better than most people here so....


I noticed that one trap a lot of people (in general) and many people here (in particular) fall into is that they spend way too much time caring about things they don't need to care about. Like people who make "rules" for themselves that really just make their lives harder and more complicated and more frustrating. Why? If it's not an actual law that you MUST abide by (and there are more than enough official laws to make your life harder that you'd better not break) why make your life harder than it is?

Basing your own personal rules on some ideological opinion that sounds nice but doesn't have any kind of reward is probably just gonna interfere with your life. In the end if you make it to old age and you were hindered all of your life by silly constraints you put on yourself and you never got anywhere you wanted to be, that's all you're going to regret.

I think I have seen too many people wasting their time, energy and money on group identity and it's sucking the life right out of them and leaving them miserable and alone (in the end).

Take that for what it's worth. If your arbitrary self-imposed rules are getting in your way, break them.

/WYSD
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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-20-2019, 04:23 PM
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Let It Go~


Try to force yourself to have a good time... or find some way to relax yourself—even if you have to fake it.

I think the more you push in given instances, you can wind up tricking yourself into being comfortable.

While this is not likely to work in every instance, I've found it helps in some initial events. The confidence boost helps.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human
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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-21-2019, 09:14 PM
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Question your definition of what it means to be, "normal."
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-23-2019, 02:56 AM
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Listen to Mindless Self Indulgence


Oh my! They're having quite an adventure!
Let's turn the page and see what the **** they do next
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post #16 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-23-2019, 03:49 AM
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Listen to Mindless Self Indulgence
I want to recommend you Rabbit Junk in case you haven't heard em

"this death is where you get lifed" lol
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post #17 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-23-2019, 03:58 AM
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I want to recommend you Rabbit Junk in case you haven't heard em

"this death is where you get lifed" lol
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No but yeah they do seem quite similar. Their music videos are also similar to this one from an MSI spin off project:


and now I realise it's because that music video was made by the same guy haha.


I like how they just randomly do a Team Rocket speech live and you can hear everyone yelling along:


I get that they couldn't do this for copyright reasons but when they re-released this track they should have included that as an intro:

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post #18 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-24-2019, 12:11 AM
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Fast-paced competitive gaming. Kinda hard not to focus on what's in front of you at that moment, as long as you care about the outcome. Immersive MMOs that keep you engaged may work too.
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post #19 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-29-2019, 07:49 PM
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Originally Posted by chrisinmd View Post
Alcohol, Alcohol, Alcohol.
Can confirm... It works. ...sometimes...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
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