Telling People - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 06:22 AM Thread Starter
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Telling People

I just found out not to long ago that I have SA. I haven't told anyone about it because I'm to scared to. I was just wondering if anyone else has told anyone(like friends,family,etc.) about their SA and how they took it.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 07:10 AM
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I have. Not sure its a good idea unless you have a really good reason to tell. It just makes others more uncomfortable around you so they have a tendancy to avoid you more.
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 08:10 AM
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I told a couple of people last year, and it didn't noticeably change the way they treated me. However, my case isn't nearly as bad as some others (in fact, one of the reasons I told them was that I was improving and felt that this might be another step to getting better), and I thought that by telling them, they might understand me a bit more (why I didn't go out much, why I've always been single, why I was avoiding people at work). In one case, I believe it helped me build a more trusting and open relationship with one of my co-workers (she's also a friend, I wouldn't casually say this to anyone) because she understood that I wasn't really aloof and it's not that I didn't like her, it's that I was "afraid" of her.

I've never told my family or best friend (who know lices far away unfortunately), but they all know I have some problems socializing and try to help in their own way. I'm sure if I told them they'd understand though, and would be 100% supportive. In fact, I think my mom would have liked me to get therapy when I was still in college, but she never came out and said it.

When I think back to college (before I knew about SA), there was a female student there that often spoke to me about my being too shy and not going out. She never mentioned SA or anything, but she said I was living in a box, and I really should try to break out of it. Back then, I just wasn't ready to change so I ignored most of her advice, but now I appreciate the fact that she was trying to help me even if we weren't that close.

Frankly, I don't see how telling someone you trust and love can be anything but positive. I see it as a sign that you've accepted the fact that you have a problem and are ready to start making positive changes to overcome it. There is always a chance that people will look at you differently, or that some of your friends will avoid you, but the people who truly love you might already know that something is worrying you and should be happy to help you.
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 08:30 AM
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Nope. There's some talk about that here: How do you talk about it?
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 08:34 AM
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Well, I think most people know that I have SA...or at least they know something is wrong with me.

However, I don't talk about it...and my friends also don't talk about it. So I guess it's okay for both sides

I just don't know..
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 08:36 AM
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I havent told anybody and I really dont know if I should or not. I mean if I dont, I just stand there all silent and shy and people will think there is something wrong with me, and if I do there is always the chance that they will avoid me more because I am, so I dont know. I think it really only affects me when I'm around complete strangers and not with people I know or those I'm close with.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 01:56 PM
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I told my mom about it some time ago, and we agreed on going to the pschycologist. Then i left it, cause i felt i didnt need it.
But i felt good when i told her about it, i was like an hour thinking if i should tell her about it.
Oh and i showed her some sites that talked about syntoms and she saw that i have some of them, so she believed me.
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 03:21 PM
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told my mum, dad, and brother first who all didnt understand at first, but were supportive and kind. Told some friends; lots of things became clear to some, others I'm not convinced they understand or even believe me. To be honest, I don't expect anyone to understand as imho if you havn't been there then your never going to fully understand it. But I feel better for telling them as it is the truth, and if anyone doubts it then thats their decision and I'm getting used to accepting that.
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 06:01 PM
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I did and it didnt change anything between people i know, probaly because they dont understand like we do how it is.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 06:08 PM
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I told my immediate family. They were all loving and supportive even though they still to this day dont understand exactly what it is.
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 06:10 PM
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I told my parents (and my step-mom). They are all really supportive, although my dad is kind of afraid I am becoming mentally ill like my mom (I think she was originally listed as paranoid/delusional disorder - but later bipolar).

I found out that my stepsister (six months younger than I) was on Paxil for panic attacks, too.

My mom and stepmom are supportive. My stepmom said one time that in having to deal with her kids sometimes, she may need to borrow a pill!

You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!


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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-14-2006, 05:35 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks for all your replies guys, it helped me out alot.
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-14-2006, 01:47 PM
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I've only told my parents. I don't know if I want to tell anyone else.
My mom is pretty casual about it...her way of asking how I'm doing - "So, are you still mental?"
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