Telling People - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 06:22 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 12

Telling People


I just found out not to long ago that I have SA. I haven't told anyone about it because I'm to scared to. I was just wondering if anyone else has told anyone(like friends,family,etc.) about their SA and how they took it.
countrygirl is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 07:10 AM
Permanently Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 165
I have. Not sure its a good idea unless you have a really good reason to tell. It just makes others more uncomfortable around you so they have a tendancy to avoid you more.
LoneStar is offline  
post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 08:10 AM
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 150
I told a couple of people last year, and it didn't noticeably change the way they treated me. However, my case isn't nearly as bad as some others (in fact, one of the reasons I told them was that I was improving and felt that this might be another step to getting better), and I thought that by telling them, they might understand me a bit more (why I didn't go out much, why I've always been single, why I was avoiding people at work). In one case, I believe it helped me build a more trusting and open relationship with one of my co-workers (she's also a friend, I wouldn't casually say this to anyone) because she understood that I wasn't really aloof and it's not that I didn't like her, it's that I was "afraid" of her.

I've never told my family or best friend (who know lices far away unfortunately), but they all know I have some problems socializing and try to help in their own way. I'm sure if I told them they'd understand though, and would be 100% supportive. In fact, I think my mom would have liked me to get therapy when I was still in college, but she never came out and said it.

When I think back to college (before I knew about SA), there was a female student there that often spoke to me about my being too shy and not going out. She never mentioned SA or anything, but she said I was living in a box, and I really should try to break out of it. Back then, I just wasn't ready to change so I ignored most of her advice, but now I appreciate the fact that she was trying to help me even if we weren't that close.

Frankly, I don't see how telling someone you trust and love can be anything but positive. I see it as a sign that you've accepted the fact that you have a problem and are ready to start making positive changes to overcome it. There is always a chance that people will look at you differently, or that some of your friends will avoid you, but the people who truly love you might already know that something is worrying you and should be happy to help you.
silverstein is offline  
 
post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 08:30 AM
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,086
Nope. There's some talk about that here: How do you talk about it?
Argo is offline  
post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 08:34 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: My world
Posts: 287
Well, I think most people know that I have SA...or at least they know something is wrong with me.

However, I don't talk about it...and my friends also don't talk about it. So I guess it's okay for both sides

I just don't know..
ExtremeE is offline  
post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 08:36 AM
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 14
I havent told anybody and I really dont know if I should or not. I mean if I dont, I just stand there all silent and shy and people will think there is something wrong with me, and if I do there is always the chance that they will avoid me more because I am, so I dont know. I think it really only affects me when I'm around complete strangers and not with people I know or those I'm close with.
ThisisEric is offline  
post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 01:56 PM
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12
I told my mom about it some time ago, and we agreed on going to the pschycologist. Then i left it, cause i felt i didnt need it.
But i felt good when i told her about it, i was like an hour thinking if i should tell her about it.
Oh and i showed her some sites that talked about syntoms and she saw that i have some of them, so she believed me.
Rawr is offline  
post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 03:21 PM
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 996
told my mum, dad, and brother first who all didnt understand at first, but were supportive and kind. Told some friends; lots of things became clear to some, others I'm not convinced they understand or even believe me. To be honest, I don't expect anyone to understand as imho if you havn't been there then your never going to fully understand it. But I feel better for telling them as it is the truth, and if anyone doubts it then thats their decision and I'm getting used to accepting that.
pabs is offline  
post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 06:01 PM
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 89
I did and it didnt change anything between people i know, probaly because they dont understand like we do how it is.
shyusa is offline  
post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 06:08 PM
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,102
I told my immediate family. They were all loving and supportive even though they still to this day dont understand exactly what it is.
meggiehamilton is offline  
post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-13-2006, 06:10 PM
SAS Member
 
millenniumman75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Dayton, OH
Gender: Male
Age: 45
Posts: 153,938
My Mood: Angelic
CountryGirl,

I told my parents (and my step-mom). They are all really supportive, although my dad is kind of afraid I am becoming mentally ill like my mom (I think she was originally listed as paranoid/delusional disorder - but later bipolar).

I found out that my stepsister (six months younger than I) was on Paxil for panic attacks, too.

My mom and stepmom are supportive. My stepmom said one time that in having to deal with her kids sometimes, she may need to borrow a pill!

millenniumman75
You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!

TROLL ALERT STATUS:
CHAT -> BERT

FORUMS -> ERNIE
(troll activity on the increase)

WATCH WHAT YOU TYPE!
millenniumman75 is offline  
post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-14-2006, 05:35 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 12
Thanks for all your replies guys, it helped me out alot.
countrygirl is offline  
post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-14-2006, 01:47 PM
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,325
I've only told my parents. I don't know if I want to tell anyone else.
My mom is pretty casual about it...her way of asking how I'm doing - "So, are you still mental?"
clenched_fist is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Telling people you have anxiety rachelynn Coping With Social Anxiety 26 10-30-2013 04:24 PM
people telling you to smile ghostgurl Frustration 28 10-04-2011 02:22 PM
Telling people about your SA blueshoes Coping With Social Anxiety 10 02-11-2010 02:29 PM
Telling other people about your SA Rennie Coping With Social Anxiety 3 10-07-2009 12:04 PM
Uncomfortable with telling people your name? shadowmask Coping With Social Anxiety 12 07-22-2009 07:21 AM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome