Talking - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-29-2020, 05:31 PM Thread Starter
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Talking


Despite your social anxiety are you well spoken?

I am not a talker. I randomly stutter. I blank. I'm a nervous nelly. Although I don't feel nervous, lately I've noticed how nervous I come across.

And I can't finish a sentence. I tend to just trial off.

I can't tell anecdotes properly because I'm always second guessing myself and I would forget certain events.
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-29-2020, 05:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
Despite your social anxiety are you well spoken?

No : |


Quote:

I am not a talker. I randomly stutter. I blank. I'm a nervous nelly. Although I don't feel nervous, lately I've noticed how nervous I come across.

And I can't finish a sentence. I tend to just trial off.

I can't tell anecdotes properly because I'm always second guessing myself and I would forget certain events.

I don't stutter but I do all the other stuff. I blank, sometimes trail off, always second guess what I'm saying.


I like to think I have a decent vocabulary, especially when it comes to business jargon, and maybe that comes across in my written communications at work. But in regards to my verbal communication I'm a hot mess. Luckily I don't have to speak too often at work, just conference calls once in a while.


I've been out haunting the neighborhood
And everybody can see I'm no good
When I'm walking out between parked cars
With my head full of stars
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-30-2020, 09:32 PM
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I tend to be a good speaker when I mesh well with the person. However, there will be times when irme and a certain person don’t click and my will to keep the conversation falls off. I still will politely go on but once I can find a way to leave I do so .

How can you lose when you're doing you ?
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-30-2020, 11:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
Despite your social anxiety are you well spoken?
No. I do alright writing (as long as you read whatever I wrote after I edit it a million times to make it seem like my brain isn't a tornado of random garbage). IRL, I do not much like to talk even to people I know well and I always feel like whatever I say is wrong or stupid or poorly worded (and it often is). And whenever I am talking to someone I don't know my mind goes blank even if they just ask me a really simple question.

/WYSD
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-01-2020, 08:57 AM
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Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
Despite your social anxiety are you well spoken?

Sometimes, but it depends on the situation. I speak better in a one-on-one conversation, and if I know the person well. In the context of groups of people, especially people I don't know well (or at all), I become very self-conscious. Sometimes, my mind just becomes empty and I can't think of anything. If I'm with a group and one or more people are dominating the conversation, I tend to falter and generally stay in the background. I don't know if this is a negative quality or not. I'm not an actor and I'm not generally interested in taking a spotlight, if that makes sense.
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-02-2020, 05:26 PM
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With me it totally depends how I'm feeling. I remember this girl started talking to me on the tram a year or so ago and I felt very embarassed. I was actually having trouble catching my breath and my throat was locking up - that's what happens when I get really nervous in public.

It's very strange because on another day if the same thing happened I would have been okay. I can usually talk to people just fine. Of course when I'm manic I will literally start talking to anyone.
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-26-2020, 01:20 AM
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Nah, my voice constantly glitches
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-26-2020, 04:01 AM
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I was exceptionally good at presentations and other forms of public speaking, I've always associated people that express themselves poorly or colloquially with certain cultural traits that I find extremely undesirable so it has always been important to me to try and express myself as properly as possible.


This made me at least relatively capable at doing so which made me confident in that specific area which in turn cut away much of the related anxiety, making it even easier.
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-27-2020, 10:21 AM
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i had a nervous disorder when reading in front of the class at high school,. it was bad and my voice would tremble when i read
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-28-2020, 05:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
Despite your social anxiety are you well spoken?

I am not a talker. I randomly stutter. I blank. I'm a nervous nelly. Although I don't feel nervous, lately I've noticed how nervous I come across.

And I can't finish a sentence. I tend to just trial off.

I can't tell anecdotes properly because I'm always second guessing myself and I would forget certain events.
Most people with SAD experience at least one of the difficulties you described. It's normal. It's unfrequent to be well spoken when you are socially anxious, even if you have good writing skills. You say you don't feel nervous, but you probably are. It's not always easy to spot underlying anxious thoughts. When you are speaking, how is your breathing? Your heartbeat? Are you sweaty?

When you are speaking, some parts of your brain may be busy dealing with anxious thoughts such as "I'm not telling it right, I must be boring", "I'm so nervous it must look ridiculous" and so on. As a result, it's harder for your brain to focus on what you want to say, let alone think of the best way to say it.

Plus, the anxious thoughts you have tend to create a vicious circle: having anxious thoughts about blanking is probably the best way to blank at some point.

Are you looking for ways to improve?
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