Sudden personality change. People can hear my thoughts - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-01-2021, 10:28 PM Thread Starter
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Sudden personality change. People can hear my thoughts


Hi many years ago, I used to be a funny and smart person. Nothing bad happened but when I started meditating I asked myself how come im like this, how come Im like like this to people? I found no answer and changed. I used to be straight As at school but that changed. This happened long ago when I was 14 and a half. Im over 20 now. I miss my old self. You don't know what you got until you lose it. All this years ive been repeating myself in my mind: how do I get like before? I wasnt like this. Also one day I started hearing my neighbors insult me. One night after that I thought to myself something. I said it inside my mind and a neighbor answered that. He answered to me like if I said it outloud. That happened a few years after my change but not too many. Since that moment ive been paranoid and thinking like if everyone can hear me. I do think I appeared i the news amd everything. Ive considered my problem about the thougths like a power or ability named subvocalization. I do not know if people can hear my subvocalization.Can someone tell me how to get my old self? Can someone help me with my thoughts and subvocalization problems? Thanks.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-02-2021, 12:03 PM
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I think a common pattern in some of our anxieties is paranoid that people are persecuting us. Honestly, I don't think your neighbors can read your thoughts but that the insults were a coincidence. In any case, the paranoia of people hating us is real. I believe it is similar to how I spent a good part of 2 decades thinking that people were looking at me funny and thinking I am a disease to them wherever I went. It's all a part of this crippling thing we call anxiety and perceiving that people don't like us.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-02-2021, 01:45 PM Thread Starter
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Ok thanks. Have this happened to you or anyone?
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-02-2021, 11:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dgamer410 View Post
Ok thanks. Have this happened to you or anyone?
If I understand the question correctly, the sudden personality change did happen to me as follows:

Up until about 7th grade, I was somewhat happy and outgoing. I had all the cliche fond memories and experiences of youth until then.

In the summer of 7th grade, my family moved to a more affluent neighborhood [from a poor neighborhood where a cute face got you mild attention]. The problem was I was okay in my poor neighborhood. Once I moved to the new place in 8th grade to 12 grade, I was a 180 degree outcast. The new world valued interesting campfire speeches and family vacation summaries, whereas my family had mental and physical regurgitations of diseases.

I basically became a non-consequential person overnight in my new surrounding, and developing asocial behaviors was my defense over many years. Once college and adulthood came, I realized my asocial defense mechanisms did cost me because I bottled myself up to even the cutest crushes of my life that tried to talk to me.

I think most of us are here dwelling over mis-opportunity, if I am reading this place correctly. We are trying to salvage what we can if we aren't too damaged beyond repair.
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