Wow, alot of stress going on here, well I'll give whatever advice I can.
I am currently a Junior technically, (Creditwise I'm not sure) And I've been through a whole lot, I'm still not at my best but I'm surviving.
I've gone through struggles in my belief systems, Identity crises, suicidal moments, family divisions, and the whole 9 yards,etc.
My first year of college was the most fast paced year of my life, it was very fun and very stressful at the same time but somehow it all balanced out. I suppose my greatest challenge would come the last term in the spring and the summer break off. I went through alot of confusion, alot of moments where I just didn't know where I was AT ALL.
The best advice I could offer to you is to know where you stand. Know what your goal is after you graduate, and know how you are going to evolve and what drives you. Honestly, any period in life is tough, for some people they have a hard youth, others have a hard time at old age. Know your strengths and weaknesses, it could mean the difference between success and failure.
Honestly, Social life is over-rated. In my first year almost everyone in my freshman class knew me by December or so, through one party or event. I was doing what your supposed to do in college first year, barely maintaining a 2.4 GPA and drinking three nights a week. Trust me having a million ASSOCIATES, (not friends) doesn't really help you that much. In the end it just becomes a burden. Even though I knew alot of people that didn't help the suffering I was experiencing inside. I just spent time between groups trying to run away from myself.
However, it's important to know yourself and your life path and your LUCK. There are certain problems I have that you will never have to deal with, and certain problems you have that I will never even see.
I'd say it's important to know your nature and what you are here for, because it will determine the challenges you have to overcome.
Today I don't know if I'm better off than I was 4 years ago, it seems I have gotten stronger and my challenges have as well, so in the end life is about changing with the tides and not resisting progress.
But there are somethings that I will never regret,
I don't regret not getting laid so much, because when I look at all the people my age that have STD's and kids, I wipe the sweat off my forehead thanking God I don't have to deal with that stuff.
I don't regret not having a relationship or anything like that. School is my main focus and I'm getting the education for ME, not for someone else.
I don't regret the pain I went through, because each challenge I overcome within myself is more proof that I am stronger than I think myself to be, because I'm still living and breathing on this dimension.
But as a last note of advice, BE CAREFUL who you have sleep with, and personally I advocate for abstinence, (Ha, I thought I would never say this in my life) but simply because of four reasons:
1) STD's can be transmitted from skin to skin contact and oral contact. (meaning condoms don't protect against things like herpes and skin viral infections).
2) Alot of people are asymptomatic, (meaning they don't have any symptoms) from STD's, so you can't tell just from looking at them
3)Alot of people don't care about their health, they see something is wrong but don't go to the doctor for it, so it's likely they don't even know they have something.
I don't like to talk about this alot but I have experienced it and it is not a pretty feeling. I felt more suicidal in this moment than when I thought everyone in the world hated me. I felt like a dirty wash cloth and wanted to throw up, take 15 showers and go to a radiation plant to have the person's smell burnt off my skin. That's how disgusted I was...
Waking up to see their hideous morning face, the smell of dried alcohol and other fumes were something I have repeatedly tried to bash out of my skull but to no avail.
Yes, she was attractive but after the alcohol wore off, along with the pounding headache I saw her ugly empty soul which felt like the frustration and emptiness you feel as a child when seeing "GAME OVER" after losing in Mortal Kombat II. Except multiply it by 7 million times.
Please heed these words. They could save your life. Also know that MEN suffer from POD 10x more than women. Women suffer from another kind of disgust which is known more so as feeling "violated and dirty".
As a man I can just theoretically "wipe off" the persons pheremones off my body with a shower, some excercise and electro-shock therapy, unfortunatley with women the process is more complicated and takes much more time.
Since women are nuturing (I don't even know if that's how you spell it ,sorry) and more on the recieving end it's more difficult to just "brush off" the feeling of the "walk of shame" back to her dorm room or wherever.
Personally when I reached my bed the following day I slowly realized that if the incident occured in my room and I had to kick her out, I would have jumped out the window in agony for having sullied my precious bed spread with her disgusting juices.
Likewise ladies, please, if you are looking for a quick lay while in a drunken stupor, alleviate the following mornings pain by choosing a neutral location (a friends house) which you can stay away from for at least 2 months following the shameful act.
This has been a really long post, I'm sorry for taking up so much space but please if you don't remember anything remember this:
1)Don't sleep with just anybody.
2)Avoid one night stands. (which lead to inevitable POD)
3) Don't beat yourself up for not having friends, most people you call your friends aren't really "friends" but associates anyways. A friend is someone who will go to jail with you, stay in the hospital over night making sure you are okay, and sit all day with you eating ice cream and listening to your boy problems.
As for men we don't have friends. As a man I classify other men into 4 categories.
2)Cockblocker (A nobody which appears to be preventing your success with the opposite sex.)
3)Friend (has something in common with you)
4) Link (Associate- explores common venues with you)
I'm sure I will be shot for posting such a long post but I haven't vented in a while, please excuse me while I go finish venting elsewhere....