Social Anxiety Is Almost Gone After Two Months Please Read It - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 10:37 AM Thread Starter
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Social Anxiety Is Almost Gone After Two Months Please Read It


Please read this. It will definitely help you a lot.

First, sorry for my bad english. My name is Aladeen. I'm from Tunisia. I want to share something I've been doing for the past 2 months. It’s worked incredibly well to remove social anxiety.

This is all based on my experience and staying up all night trying to figure out what's wrong with me. Social anxiety is based on thoughts, and when we see thoughts as fearful and scary, that's what causes our body to release adrenaline (fight or flight).

So basically, we are afraid of our thoughts. And our thoughts may not be based on what is actually happening. In the case of thoughts associated with anxiety disorders, our thoughts are usually NOT based on what is actually happening.

Here's some examples of thoughts that cause our social anxiety:

- The thought that someone or some group of people are looking at us.
The thought that people are judging us or talking negatively about us.
The thoughts about our low self-esteem or our perceived limitations.
Thoughts of “WHAT IF (insert worst case scenario) happens?”

The point is, ONLY THOUGHTS AND OUR REACTIONS TO THEM, NOTHING MORE, ARE THE CAUSE OF SOCIAL ANXIETY. Every time these thoughts pop up and we give them attention (when we give them our mental energy), they get bigger and stronger in our mind. We literally feed them by paying attention and reacting to them with fear.

What I've been doing is reprogramming my subconscious mind to see these thoughts as normal and non-threatening by doing something called “relaxed awareness”.

The subconscious mind is where we store everything we learn, feel and think throughout our lives. The mind uses neural pathways to transmit every thought we have, including conscious, unconscious and subconscious thoughts.

Because of our individual life experiences and our reactions to situations we view as fearful, thoughts of social anxiety currently travel on some very strong neural pathways, so it's gonna take time and patience to make them go down other pathways. It’s like slowly changing the course of a powerful river, but it can be done. The main thing is, you’re the only one and the perfect one who CAN do it.

Here's an example of how the subconscious mind works: when I was in middle school i had a friend who stuttered. I hung out with him a lot. He’d stutter in class and every one would make fun of him.

Every time I saw him like that I’d think to myself, “What if stutter like him and everyone makes fun of me?” So i started to develop fear based on, “What if” I stutter?

Every time I saw him stutter this fearful thought get bigger and bigger because I was giving that thought my attention and fuel to get bigger in my mind until the day came and the teacher told me to read an easay and and bom I was standing there stuttering like a retard

Because of the neural pathways created by this increasing attention to a fear (which I myself created), my subconscious mind “created” a pathway which triggered stuttering when I would speak publicly.

Eventually the fear of stuttering led to fear of being judged, which led to avoidance of being around others to avoid judgment, which led to social anxiety and isolation.

Because we humans are social animals (we may not like everyone but we all need at least someone!), my self esteem dropped over time. And then from the previous fears I started to develop new fearful thoughts about how I look and how others might perceive me. “What if others think I'm ugly or I look stupid and those thoughts get bigger and bigger in my subconscious mind?”

“What if the thoughts then multiply into other fearful thoughts like:
- What if people judge me, talk bad about me, think I walk weird, act weird, look ugly, etc, etc, etc…”?

Everyone with social anxiety disorder has had these thoughts. Human minds are different because they’ve had different experiences, but they all ACT in the same basic way with respect to how they think. All bicycles may look different but they’re all driven in the same basic way.

Let's get to how to bring these thoughts down so your subconscious mind doesn’t see them as fearful or threatening anymore.

I’ve been doing something called RELAXED AWARENESS or TOTAL ALLOWING and this is how it works:

Humans have 3 states of mind:

1.) CONSCIOUS MIND: this mind is connected to our five senses, seeing, smelling, hearing, etc,…. the conscious mind records things and processes information with the superconscious mind. The information is then sent to the subconscious mind and the subconscious mind accepts it without questioning.

2.) SUPERCONSCIOUS MIND: this is the mind that gives you new ideas and processes information neutrally, as an “observer of everything”. It sees things in their true nature, as they really are. This mind is not connected to feelings, emotions, etc., and this is the real you.
3.) SUBCONSCIOUS MIND: This is where we store everything from feelings to learning to language. Everything is stored here and this mind has no logic. It just accepts what it’s given without question. In this mind all neural pathways of your thoughts are stored and remembered.

If you experience some fearful situation the subconscious mind will store it. The next time you’re in a similar situation the subconscious mind makes feel the same way you felt last time (because it uses the same neural pathways as before).

Basically, we know that all the situations that cause social anxiety are not, in truth, fearful and threatening. They are very normal situations.

In these situations, the superconscious mind sees the truth but our subconscious mind already has very strong neural pathways of panic and fear about those “What if” thoughts of social anxiety. The superconscious mind is based in reality; the “what if” thoughts are based in fear.

Here's another example of how the subconscious mind’s neural pathways work. What are the neural pathways associated with being at home? They are safety, relaxation, having fun, being at ease. You keep fueling and giving attention to those neural pathways every time you get home you feel secure. So at home, your feelings of security and ease are being fed.

Here’s an example of neural pathways of fearful thoughts related to social anxiety, for example if you’ve had a bad experience in the past while going to the beach.

In the past, the thoughts at the beach have been, “What if people judge me, think i'm ugly, act weird, etc, etc.…” You give these thoughts fuel and attention and they naturally get bigger.

So the next time you go to the beach you experience the same feelings and thoughts that you felt last time and your mind reacts to those feelings by releasing adrenaline (fight or flight). Your subconscious mind fights, but in truth there’s nothing to fight.

What we need to do is change those fearful neural pathways related to social anxiety through RELAXED AWARENESS or TOTAL ALLOWING. This method uses both the conscious mind and super superconscious minds to reprogram the subconscious mind every time you experience fear-producing thought. You stay consciously relaxed instead of reacting/panicking to it and you allow your brain to make free movements and be neutral. This will lead to the creation of neural pathways that lead to feelings of security and ease even in situations that now produce fear.

*This is what RELAXED AWARENESS or TOTAL ALLOWING is: our mind has the capacity to be “aware”, purely aware, through attention, concentration or focus. The mind has a “narrow awareness”, that’s why it’s called “focus” or concentration.

The mind can only be aware of one thing at time – for example, if you are aware of your “sight” your “hearing” becomes passive, if you are aware of your hearing your sight is on passive,
if you are aware of your thoughts your sight and hearing are on passive, etc. The mind can only focus, or be aware, of one thing at a time.

When those thoughts of social anxiety arise, if we give them attention or focus or try to solve those thoughts thats mean we're fueling them and they will get bigger in our subconscious mind.
continue reading second post.
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post #2 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 10:38 AM Thread Starter
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Here’s an example of how we can handle our thoughts through relaxed awareness.

Let’s say I’m introducing myself to a group of people. An initial fearful thoughts comes what if I stutter what if they laugh at me what if find me weird...... How I react to it I'll be like I don't know what the **** ur talking about and I allow my brain to make free movement without being afraid from those thoughts

In other words, I don’t feed my subconscious mind in this situation, even though the neural pathways I’ve used in the past may WANT to be fed!

When you start doing the relaxed awareness or total letting go process, every time those thoughts pop up you will experience something like when you're addicted to nicotine and you stop smoking. You experience the exact same feeling of quitting any addiction, because those neural pathways are so used to getting attention and fuel from you.

When you stop giving them attention and practice relaxed awareness, the fearful thoughts want you to fuel them just like a smoker wants a cigarette. They want attention and focus from you so they can get bigger and bigger. Again, the subconscious mind just does what it’s gotten used to doing, even when the thing it’s used to doing, like panicking or smoking, is a threat to your health and happiness!!

With practice the subconscious mind will slowly start to understand that the thoughts and situations you now think are threatening are not actually harmful or threatening. It will begin to replace the neural pathways of fear and anxiety with new neural pathways of relaxation and calm.

THIS IS A BASIC LAW OF THE BRAIN’S NATURE, AND IT WILL WORK FOR EVERYONE WHO DOES IT.

We need to allow every thought to come and go without reacting to it, no matter how initially fearful or threatening the thought may be.

The brain is the only organ in the body whose primary function is to change. Other organs CAN change, but that’s not their highest purpose. The highest purpose of the brain is to change, and when you change the way you think for your benefit you physically change the brain for your benefit.

Know (and allow it) that people may look at you, know that people may judge (and allow it), know that you may stutter (and allow it), people may you're ugly even if you're not, think you act/walk weird, etc.

Allow any thoughts that your subconscious mind pops into your consciousness, and don’t give them any attention or focus. Just allow them in without reacting, panicking or being afraid of them (this gets easier the more you do it).

There’s an old folk saying, “whatever you focus on becomes stronger”. This is why vain people can’t pass a mirror by without looking at themselves, it’s why lovers stare into each other’s eyes. It’s why parents stare at their newborn baby while they sleep.

When you focus on NOT reacting to fearful thoughts or situations in the present moment, this leads to an increasingly stronger ability to not react fearfully in the same situations in the future. And the great news is that, while it is a process, it doesn’t take that long to retrain the brain.

This subconscious mind has no logic and doesn’t care if a thought is true or not, it just cares about the neural pathways of this thought and how you react to it at the time that the thoughts arise.

Try this. The next time this situation arises, ask yourself, where is the actual danger when you're walking and some people look at you? Is fear logical in this situation? Only our higher mind, the part of us that sees everything as it really is, can retrain and teach our more primitive mind to work for us and not against us.

The subconscious mind is like an animal that will keep pulling a plough forward in whatever direction it starts to move, but the higher (superconscious) mind can be the one who steers the plough to get the most accomplished.

If all of these fearful thoughts are the engine that your social anxiety is running on, you can consciously stop giving fuel to the engine, and it will eventually sputter and stop running. The fearful mind is just like this, no difference at all.

I hope it’s clear to you how social anxiety works and how to remove it. I invite you all to develop awareness about how you feel in social situations or around other people. Be aware of which thoughts are causing your social anxiety. Write them down and then start the RELAXED AWARENESS or TOTAL ALLOWING process (call it whatever you want, or don’t even call it anything, but try it!).

Guess what guys, I don’t stutter anymore. I’m not afraid of “what if I stutter” anymore, and even if I did stutter I probably wouldn't care. I’m not afraid of that thought anymore, and the same is true of thoughts of social anxiety.

Once I ALLOWED all those fearful thoughts to come and go the anxiety thoughts vanished because I’m no longer afraid of them. We all might be afraid of different things that bring up social anxiety, but we can rid ourselves of this condition by doing the same thing. Try it for yourself and see.

It’s gonna take time to bring change the flow of your neural pathways, but stay with it. This technique takes patience and courage, but since it works at such a fundamental level of the brain (and so will work for anyone who does it), I hope you try it. Why let your past ruin your present and future?

I’ve been doing it for 2 mouths and my social anxiety is almost gone. I started to feel some progress after only one week. I hope this helps you like it helped me guys.
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post #3 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 11:38 AM
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very good it makes lots of sense
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post #4 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 12:21 PM
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This makes perfect sense. Fantastic advice my friend. The subconcious mind rules us.

Society and technology is evolving at such a fast pace that our human biology is struggling to keep up with. Depression and social anxiety is a modern epidemic simply because many of us are not compatitable with the society mankind has created and we haven't evolved and adapted fast enough to keep up with the pace of this change.

Biologically we are identical to our ancestors who lived thousands of years ago but the difference is they lived in conditions that they were fully compatiable with because they evolved in the environment they lived in. They didn't have to constantly keep up with the increasing changes to the environment like we do. Our body and brain cannot evolve fast enough to keep up with the changes of our environment. Humans for example are not built for the 9-5 office life. Our ancestors spent most of their time in the wilderness keeping physically active and its not a concidence that physical activity releases feel good hormones possibly to compensate for the stresses physical activity has on the body. This is just one example.

Look at fear. Fear comes from a primitive part of the brain. Our ancestors would scan the environment for fear, like a snake in the grass or a tiger in the bushes and based on that fear their fight or flight response would kick in.

The modern man in the developed world very rarely faces life threatening scenarios but we still have the primitive part of our brain that serves to detect threats. It doesn't just stop working because we face no life threatening situations in our day to day lives. So as a kid when someone in the playground calls you ugly that hurts and social/emotional pain is triggered in the same areas of the brain as physical pain. Then you come home and your brother calls you ugly which adds more pain. Then the girl you like next door says you look weird and sooner or later we begin to assosiate these painful feelings with people as a whole so we develop a fear of people. We respond like our ancestors did to fear and thats to avoid it. We scan the environment for our fears(people), just like our ancestors scanned their environment for predators. Its a survival mechanism. Its scientifically proven in Neuroscience that emotional pain is equivalent to physical pain so its rational that we avoid the cause of this pain.

The difficult part is to break association we developed of our fears. Its like the lamb laying with the wolf. This is often an end of times parable which doesn't bode well for us lol.

My Journey living through social anxiety
https://thejourneyofabrokensoul.wordpress.com/
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post #5 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 12:43 PM
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Nice read, ty for posting this.
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post #6 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 12:46 PM Thread Starter
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tottaly
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post #7 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted by aladeen View Post
tottaly agree vivi but human even our ancestors was born with only two fears
fear of heights and fear of loud voices and all of others fears we developed them like our ancestors develop fears of snakes or dinasaour we now in this moderm world we developed fears of other people (social anxiety) and we can make this fear
diseaper by totally allowing it .we wasn't born with this fear we have created it and every thought that you accpeted was one day a new thought
I agree. When i was a kid i was afraid of the dark and going out at the night. I lost this fear when i was 18(when i developed social anxiety). Now i love darkness and my favourite time of the day is night because with my social anxiety its the only time i'm at peace, the only time i cannot see anyone or anything. I love being in total darkness. I feel like a turtle hiding in its shell away from anything that can cause it harm. When i sleep i make sure not a single particle of light slips into my room. I love walking outside at night when people are not around because i feel like the only person in the world.

One day i thought to myself. How come i lost my fear of the dark as soon as my social anxiety peaked? Mabe because i found a fear that was greater than my fear of the dark. Its like being in a life threatening situation, lets say in a burning house or in a situation where someone is trying to hurt you. You have to run to people for their help. At that moment you lose your social anxiety of people because you have discovered a greater fear and people become a route of escape from the fear. Just like how i use the darkness(my previous fear) as comfort and a safe haven from the new fear(social anxiety) i developed. Mabe in order to beat social anxiety we need to find a greater fear. Mabe its the fear of dying alone, the fear of never finding love. It doesn't have to be something that can indanger your life. This can motivate you to find a way out of social anxiety. Just like how you tapped into your creativity to come up with an ingenious way of beating SA.

My Journey living through social anxiety
https://thejourneyofabrokensoul.wordpress.com/
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post #8 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 01:58 PM Thread Starter
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i
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post #9 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 02:03 PM Thread Starter
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first you destroy and then you create
destroy all neural pathways of fearfull thoughts and then create new neural pathways of relaxation and safety about them .
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post #10 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 02:39 PM
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Great post!
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post #11 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 03:23 PM
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This makes perfect sense. Fantastic advice my friend. The subconcious mind rules us.

Society and technology is evolving at such a fast pace that our human biology is struggling to keep up with. Depression and social anxiety is a modern epidemic simply because many of us are not compatitable with the society mankind has created and we haven't evolved and adapted fast enough to keep up with the pace of this change.

Biologically we are identical to our ancestors who lived thousands of years ago but the difference is they lived in conditions that they were fully compatiable with because they evolved in the environment they lived in. They didn't have to constantly keep up with the increasing changes to the environment like we do. Our body and brain cannot evolve fast enough to keep up with the changes of our environment. Humans for example are not built for the 9-5 office life. Our ancestors spent most of their time in the wilderness keeping physically active and its not a concidence that physical activity releases feel good hormones possibly to compensate for the stresses physical activity has on the body. This is just one example.

Look at fear. Fear comes from a primitive part of the brain. Our ancestors would scan the environment for fear, like a snake in the grass or a tiger in the bushes and based on that fear their fight or flight response would kick in.

The modern man in the developed world very rarely faces life threatening scenarios but we still have the primitive part of our brain that serves to detect threats. It doesn't just stop working because we face no life threatening situations in our day to day lives. So as a kid when someone in the playground calls you ugly that hurts and social/emotional pain is triggered in the same areas of the brain as physical pain. Then you come home and your brother calls you ugly which adds more pain. Then the girl you like next door says you look weird and sooner or later we begin to assosiate these painful feelings with people as a whole so we develop a fear of people. We respond like our ancestors did to fear and thats to avoid it. We scan the environment for our fears(people), just like our ancestors scanned their environment for predators. Its a survival mechanism. Its scientifically proven in Neuroscience that emotional pain is equivalent to physical pain so its rational that we avoid the cause of this pain.

The difficult part is to break association we developed of our fears. Its like the lamb laying with the wolf. This is often an end of times parable which doesn't bode well for us lol.
Very nice, I also compare our biology of our ancestors with modern humans, it's this new world around us that causes us all this pain and trying to develop new ways to cope with the biology of our ancestors and transform ourselves to this changing world/society into modern humans brings alot of stress/pain/anxiety etc.

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post #12 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 03:35 PM
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first you destroy and then you create
destroy all neural pathways of fearfull thoughts and then create new neural pathways of relaxation and safety about them .
Yes yes, I love your post, it was long reading maybe 30 minutes.

Everything you wrote is just like what my prozac is doing for me, I feel calm and relaxed and aware and safe. It's like the prozac blocks the fear and anxiety pathways and tries to build only calm and safe feeling pathways so you can really do stuff that you once feared. Or it might be blocking the fear and anxiety pathways reaching the Amygdala and also blocks the Adrenaline from being absorbed into the neurons or something. But it is so cool, it's just how you described it, thank you for your post it helps me understand more!

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post #13 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 03:42 PM
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Is there a short version of this?
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post #14 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 03:56 PM Thread Starter
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you're welcome .
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post #15 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 03:59 PM Thread Starter
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Is there a short version of this?
dude i really spend time and effort writing this .read it it worth reading
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[QUOTE=dreamingmind;1081408025]Yes yes, I love your post, it was long reading maybe 30 minutes.

Everything
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post #17 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 04:24 PM
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i think you missunderstood me . alchool or drugs will not help you to bring down the old neural pathaways of anxiety and build new neural pathways because when you take prozac youre state of mind is changed from being fearfull and panicked to relaxed and calmed and that's because of the neurotransmitter called serotonin so basicly serotonin is what make you relax and feeling safe because when you take prozac the lvls of serotonin go higher than normal levels so all of neural pathways of calm and relaxation will only be on when you take prozac when you dont take prozac youre serotonin levels will go back to normal and youre state of mind is changed from calmed and relaxed to normal state of mind what i mean by normal the real you without prozac and you will experience anxiety fearful thoughts . so you need to start this relaxed awarness /tottal allowing without any drugs so they will last forever
No, I did not misunderstand you, I know you are talking about doing this without medication, I was just giving you my similar situation with prozac.

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post #18 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-02-2015, 05:10 PM
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that's exactly what i am doing for almost a week and it's getting a little bit better,even if it's small step at least i am doing something to overcome it and this also work with everything you fear,that's my main goal right now is to control the subconscious
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post #19 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-03-2015, 02:38 AM
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VERY GOOD. You explained properly, i think normal people also get somewhat like SA i mean if you are sitting in your room and suddenly someone comes up normal people think for a second but they restore to what they were doing while in case of SA people they have feeded the subconcious mind to feel fear and fight or flight response gets activated and you fight and if it's not working then you flee.

I am practicing this RELAXED AWARENESS from now. Hope it will help me the way it helped you.

Lastly, Don't mind, I am JUST KIDDING:

Aladeen Mother****er !!

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post #20 of 126 (permalink) Old 08-03-2015, 02:48 AM Thread Starter
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VERY GOOD. You explained properly, i think normal people also get somewhat like SA i mean if you are sitting in your room and suddenly someone comes up normal people think for a second but they restore to what they were doing while in case of SA people they have feeded the subconcious mind to feel fear and fight or flight response gets activated and you fight and if it's not working then you flee.

I am practicing this RELAXED AWARENESS from now. Hope it will help me the way it helped you.

Lastly, Don't mind, I am JUST KIDDING:

Aladeen Mother****er !!
it will definitely help you. there is no doubt about, it but it's gonna take some time.it's journey of patience.
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