Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-24-2008, 03:22 PM Thread Starter
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Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


Not proud as in we're glad we have it, but having the courage to tell people that we have it? I noticed most people on here are afraid to tell people(myself included), but should it be the opposite? Like let's say for example someone notices your anxiety, like being quiet. Should you just tell them, Yeah, I have SA dude and then explain it to them? I just think that maybe people will understand us better if we did. Or is it something that should be on the down low like if you had herpes for example? Sometimes I just want to blurt out at people that I have it and that's why I'm not participating with you at the moment.

I edited a little. It's courage not proud now.
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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-24-2008, 03:33 PM
 
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


I think most people have all kinds of prejudices about 'mental problems', and predjudices are not easily changed. Plus, a lot of people just see it as shyness, & don't take it v seriously.

So I don't bother. Whenever I have told someone (a handful of times) it's turned out badly.
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-24-2008, 03:36 PM
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


Basically, it's just you in this life. Watch out for yourself, and f**k people who don't have the time for you. I think the fact that I'm so open about it, people like me more as opposed to the old me, not talking and keeping to myself. I'm a really sincere person, and everything I say I mean. I think people can appreciate it to a certain degree.

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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-24-2008, 03:49 PM
 
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


Quote:
Originally Posted by sean88
I tell everyone, and if they don't like it they can suck my whang. Basically, it's just you in this life. Watch out for yourself, and f**k people who don't have the time for you. I think the fact that I'm so open about it, people like me more as opposed to the old me, not talking and keeping to myself. I'm a really sincere person, and everything I say I mean. I think people can appreciate it to a certain degree.
Just wondering, if you don't care what people think, and you're confident, then surely SA is not an issue? Personally if people think I'm a freak, it is gonna make SA 100x worse.

Also the 'real me' has nothing to do with my anxiety. So I don't feel it's betraying my confidence not to tell people...do you define it as a part of yourself?
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-24-2008, 03:55 PM
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


I still have my issues, but I'm a lot better than I used to be. Basically, you have to find your good qualities, and believe in yourself. I used to only focus on my bad, like "Oh my God, I'm turning red right now, they probably all think I'm a freak." Now, I still do blush like it's no one's business, but I don't tend to worry about it as much. Who are they to think I'm weird? Once you pry into peoples' personal lives, **** gets weird. I'm a fairly normal person, they're probably the weirdos, you know?

I don't think anyone is ever completely happy with themselves, but once you learn to accept yourself things get a lot better.

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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-24-2008, 04:14 PM
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


I wouldn't display it on a badge or anything, but I would tell people who I feel are safe.

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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-24-2008, 05:18 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


I like your attitude about it sean. I wish I had the same confidence like that. Maybe I'll work on that so I can do that as well.
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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-24-2008, 06:24 PM
 
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


I don't think we should be proud of it. If we were proud about it we wouldn't have any reason or desire to change. It could become a crutch where we wear our phobias on our sleeves rather than dealing with them.

That said, I don't think we should be as ashamed of it as we are. I think the majority of people here have SA due to no fault of their own, so there's nothing to be ashamed about.
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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-24-2008, 10:57 PM
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


Quote:
Originally Posted by shyvr6
I like your attitude about it sean. I wish I had the same confidence like that. Maybe I'll work on that so I can do that as well.
Yeah, a large part of my on-going recovery has been coming to terms with myself as a person, and accepting it. I believe in you, seriously. It doesn't have to be like this forever.

You'll never be in love like you were the first time you heard the first lines of your favorite song
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-24-2008, 11:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


trey, I'm not saying that we should use our mental illness as a cop out and not deal with it. I'm just saying that if someone ever asks you about your anxiety like being shy for example, to just say what it is, like, Yeah I have SA or whatever it is you're suffering from, and then maybe just explain it briefly to them.
I'm not saying run out into the street and scream what you have, but just maybe tell someone you feel comfortable telling, like a friend that may have been wondering why you're so quiet or at a family gathering for example. Thanks sean, I'll try and work on it!
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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-24-2008, 11:44 PM
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


I don't think we should be proud to tell others about it. Should a schizophrenic be proud to tell others about his/her problem. Not really. But thats different than being proud of having the guts to tell someone about your SA.

There are somethings SA related to be proud of. Getting better is something to be proud of, it's a fight and every step forward is a challenge. The experience of having SA and it's affect on who you are is something else you can be proud of, many of us with SA are much more introspective than our more socially apt neighbors. We can often get a different look at the world and life in general because of social isolation.
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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-25-2008, 12:08 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


I think proud was the wrong word to use, lol. Maybe courage would be a better way to describe what I'm saying. The courage to just tell someone why you are the way you are.
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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 02:43 AM
 
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


It's true that acceptance is a powerful thing. For example, i say to myself now "It takes a tough, strong willed son of a ***** to get over this amount of anxiety, and i'm going to do it!" so when i tell people about social anxiety and me having it, i make sure they know i'm determined to get over it. I've told close friends and family members (the few i have), it feels alright to kind of get it off your chest. People can rarely grasp the concept of SA, but you just gotta understand, if they had to live a day in your shoes they'd fall apart - you've lived a lifetime of it already and have had to endure it all one slow painful experience at a time. So, yeah i think what there is to be proud of is the fact that you've lived through it and have somehow kept (most of) your sanity.
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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 11:25 AM
 
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


I'm not ashamed of having SA, but I never tell people about it because I don't want them to treat me differently, even if it's meant kindly. I don't want any "Oh, is this bothering you...", I want to be treated like a normal person, otherwise I don't believe I will ever become normal.
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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 01:30 PM
 
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


I don't think this is something to be proud of. But then I don't think there's any need to feel shame about it or to hate yourself for it. Just be proud of who you are. Social anxiety or no social anxiety.

As for telling others, I mostly feel like thats a bad idea. Not because I'm ashamed of the social anxiety. It has more to do with the stigma against mental illness which is alive and well in the world. It's usually counterproductive anyway. Most people can't understand what it's like. I don't blame them for it. They just can't relate.
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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 09:30 PM
 
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


I told everyone I work with about mine. Itís not my conversation starter but I donít care who knows and if I think itís a relevant factor in a conversation Iíll through it out there.

I get the typical reactions when I tell people like, ďyeah, I get uncomfortable talking in public situations tooĒ (That one makes me laugh every time. People try to identify with you to let you know that it was ok that you said that, but they have no clue what you mean by SA and they really just donít know what to say). Occasionally someone that I have told will say something without thinking like, ďlast week I took a pain killer for my back and found out it had an antidepressant in it! I canít take that stuff ya know; only crazy people should take crazy pillsĒ. Itís just their ignorance. They arenít thinking before they talk and I let it slide knowing that it takes time for people to understand.
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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-29-2008, 06:33 AM
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


The only good reason i see for telling anyone is that if they are willing to take that into consideration when i'm in a social situation with them.And often people are very unwilling to treat you any different than they treat everyone else.

i dunno man...who knows...ya know??
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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 03-03-2008, 05:21 AM
 
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Re: Should We Be Proud of Our Anxiety?


i'm embarresed to death about it, but at the same time i want to tell everyone so badly! ppl at my school think i'm a "biznatch" lol or weird or boring because i don't really respond. i actually have "fantasies" about telling people, i'll imagine just letting it loose. but in real life, it will probably make things worse, except in a few situations (maybe with teachers, or maybe employers). i didn't bother telling anyone because last time i tried sharing with my best friend how i felt she was like "yeah...i know how you feel...i hate class presentations" and then i just get depressed.
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