Self Acceptance - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 26 (permalink) Old 06-21-2015, 01:12 PM Thread Starter
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Acting naturally doesn't mean you will automatically become a social person or more extroverted. It doesn't mean either that you will accept rejection more easily. If you accept yourself completely you may also have to accept that your personality doesn't blend well with society and accept the loneliness that comes with it. I doubt a lot of people are mentally strong enough to accept the fact that they will never experience love and die alone.
Wait. "dying alone and never experiencing love" - what kind of "fact" is that? You accept yourself to be able to move on with your life and enjoy what it has to offer regardless of your shortcomings, not to sit at your home all day not taking any chances. Giving up and accepting yourself are actually 2 opposite things, not synonyms.

So next time when a thought pops out to your mind like "I'am not popular", accepting yourself the response should be something like "I know it, I will work on that, it's fine" (accepting) instead of "...this makes me a loser..." (giving up).
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post #22 of 26 (permalink) Old 06-21-2015, 01:22 PM
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Wait. "dying alone and never experiencing love" - what kind of "fact" is that? You accept yourself to be able to move on with your life and enjoy what it has to offer regardless of your shortcomings, not to sit at your home all day not taking any chances. Giving up and accepting yourself are actually 2 opposite things, not synonyms.
It is the same thing, you assume that life will 'offer' you things as soon as you accept yourself, and I don't.
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post #23 of 26 (permalink) Old 06-21-2015, 01:29 PM Thread Starter
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..

I've edited the post to illustrate this the way I see it more clearly. Life won't "offer" you things, but you will be more prone in taking challenges and coming out from your shelf since the setbacks won't have the power anymore to question your self worth.
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post #24 of 26 (permalink) Old 06-21-2015, 01:50 PM
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Wait, so you don't accept the way you look? Well that's your answer then.
You're making it seem like feeling ugly leads to social anxiety. That's not the case for everyone. It can be depression. It can be anxiety. People can be dealing with one of those two or both.
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post #25 of 26 (permalink) Old 06-21-2015, 01:55 PM
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I agree with some of your points, but I don't think it's possible to experience rejection and simply shrug it off, especially when you're used to loneliness. You need some validation at some point in your life. All people with a healthy sense of confidence have experienced validation, it's easier for them then to dismiss the negative experiences.
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post #26 of 26 (permalink) Old 06-21-2015, 02:16 PM Thread Starter
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You're making it seem like feeling ugly leads to social anxiety. That's not the case for everyone. It can be depression. It can be anxiety. People can be dealing with one of those two or both.
Well that's not quite the point, self acceptance means accepting different things for every one of us. It can be looks, health, feelings, "social status", you name it.


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Originally Posted by thedevilsblood View Post
I agree with some of your points, but I don't think it's possible to experience rejection and simply shrug it off, especially when you're used to loneliness. You need some validation at some point in your life. All people with a healthy sense of confidence have experienced validation, it's easier for them then to dismiss the negative experiences.
All I'am saying is, it will be much easier to deal with them once you accept yourself. You will much rather think about how you can improve or that simply you don't "click" with that person rather than taking it personally and dwelling on it. The rejection itself will only "prove" what you've already accepted about yourself - so effectively not much bad news since you are not trying to deny reality in the first place. It's hard to fail and not learn a handful of social skills in the process with this mindset.

And just as a side note, lack of social skills is often nothing more than anxiety or fear of anxiety, especially if one can communicate and participate in conversations perfectly well with close friends or close family members, so it could be "learnt" much more easily than the term suggests.
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