SAD even with my close family, very DEPRESSED - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-28-2019, 01:51 PM Thread Starter
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SAD even with my close family, very DEPRESSED

I suffered from SAD since the age of 16 till today (26 years old). I struggle with being overly aware of my facial expressions. The most typical situation is: I am too self-aware, then canīt naturally smile, and from there I start a vicious circle of "others think Im too serious, being serious is the worst u can look..." and so I end up being more depressed and less able to SMILE. In this vicious circle everything is dark and depressing.
The worst feeling it has been this last year, where I started to be self concious around my close family (bros and parents). When I go to visit them lately I am very unconfortable all the time around them. They know about my social anxiety since 10 months ago but they think Im much better now, which is not really the case. My head gets in loops/obsessed all the time thinking that they are finding out I canīt smile with them, that Im serious... I end up using avoidance tricks to hide it (which probably makes the anxiety/loop worst) like keeping busy eating, giving some fake smiles, or half laughing some times. The entire situation around my family is very uncofortable. I fear they would find out I canīt smile/laugh naturally with them, because if they found out I would be getting more attention on that and that scares me. Also I feel ultra ashamed of not being natural on something like smiling, and even more around your family.

NOTE: I know is all in my head as I can smile a lot if Im confortable (rarely lately around people), and I do have a good sense of humour, enjoy laughing when I donīt pressure myself. But the fear that others find out or that they think Im serious scares me like crazy to the point that I go in crazy loops whenever I intract with people and feels so DEPRESSING, canīt enjoy any human interactions. I would appreciate some help.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-28-2019, 03:33 PM
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Sounds a little like me. I'm hyper self-conscious of people seeing my facial expressions and also have severe eye contact anxiety. I kind of just don't smile by default because of constant anxiety overwhelming me and making it hard for me to be sociable naturally. I often won't go out to eat with my family because of it.

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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-29-2019, 01:57 AM
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I've been anxious around my family since I hit puberty. The people in my family make me more anxious than other people do. Largely because everyone in my family is as crazy as I am. Family functions are incredibly stressful for me. I can't sleep the night before I have a visit. Unfortunately, the only people I ever interact with IRL are people in my family.

In science, ideology tends to corrupt; absolute ideology [corrupts] absolutely" - Robert Nisbet
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 03:27 PM
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I often have to remember to control my face, because for some reason I look like I'm smiling, but it's not just a casual normal smile, but more like psychotic one and of course it happens not on right times at all...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 05:08 AM
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doesn't take much for my lip to start twitching. I'm uncomfortable around my family too. When the spotlight has been on me in front of them, it's no different to being in front of strangers for me.
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