SA Busting Method: "Blowing up" a party! - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-14-2007, 06:32 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 50

SA Busting Method: "Blowing up" a party!


Okay, this is something that really helped me in '04 and '05 back when I was taking my meds (Cymbalta/Klonopin/Adderall). I'm just now restarting the SSRI and Adderall after taking a (worthless) year off trying everything that isn't recommended for ADHD. I use this method and I hope this can help some people at least consider new possibilities in beating their social anxiety.

I call it my "blowing up a party method" because I could get myself feeling no social fear at all for about 6-8 hours and that was enough time to have a blast at said party and also meet some really cool people. We all know that the initial meeting of people is the most difficult, especially if we're trying to get to know a hottie girl/guy. So, even though my technique might seem temporary, it worked well because after you've met someone, it's a lot easier to hang with them again in a "normal" state, cause you already know the person.

Anyway, what it involved for me is... on the day of the party, I would take my SSRI and my Klonopin like normal... but I wouldn't take any Adderall for my ADD, because that makes me anxious. (I need it for school and work, but this was not a concern on the weekend) I would then get at least a couple of diet coke 32oz bottles on my way there and start chugging them. There was a profound interaction with the SSRI, the Klonopin, and the caffeine that really got me feeling good and loose and a little hyper. For once I was the loud guy at the gathering who wasn't afraid to have a good time. In fact, I would get to a place where I could just do whatever in the most fun-loving "party dude" way possible. It made a great impression, especially since all the other guys there were drinking booze and here I was just having a soda and getting all fearless and wild. One girl actually told me that this was impressive that I was so disinhibited and yet I didn't "need" and booze. Little did she know that the Diet Coke in combo with anti anxiety meds was fueling my "frat boy" ways.

This worked to get me two longer term relationships and one hook-up. The fun loving side of me got to come out and play and the next time I met up with the girls I was chill enough... because we'd already spent a few hours together... that things went well after that. The other thing is, and I don't know how well this would translate for women trying this.. but for guys... I have found that if a woman is really impressed the first time you hang out, she'll be more forgiving of my shy side later when we meet up again. Maybe she's thinking: "Wow, Paul is a wild party badboy... but he's also got a sensitive side..." I don't know. I do know that it's important that you come across at first as that fun, non-depressed, wild, fearless guy FIRST... then you can let more of your soft side show.

Okay, so what is the point of all this? Well, I think people are using what my doc uncle calls "poly-pharmacy" a lot less than they could be to treat their SA. What I seemed to be doing with the combo of the high dose Klonopin (2mg TID), the Lexapro or Cymbalta, and the massive Caffeine intake was:

1) Greatly raising GABA levels (benzo)
2) Serotonin, NA, and to a tiny extent DA was increased and reuptake was blocked (Cymbalta) which is important because...
3) Caffeine seems to increase the release of all of the neurotransmitters for a while. So, the Caffeine acted like rocket-fuel in that environment and let me out of my shell for a while.

I ran this by my PDoc and he hypothesized that the effect I was experiencing was like a slow release, mild cocaine high. I asked him if it was harmful and he said, in moderation, no it was not. Cademon would know tons more about how this might actually work in the brain but for me, the formula to cut loose is SSNRI/SSRI + high dose benzo + tons of Caffeine. Keep in mind I'm ADD and none of the the other stimulants do this to me, they all make me Mr. serious engineer/science guy. I'm not sure if this would work for the non ADD-brain, but it's worth a try.

Now, some might say that this is no permanent fix to my SA, and they are right. Even with my large Klonopin intake (which I have built no tolerance to in three years, BTW) I am still a big time introvert. But that doesn't matter too much once you've "broken the ice" and are dating someone, does it? Also, first impressions go a long way, and once you get to know someone, a friend or a lover, they tend to be a lot more forgiving, and they will always think of you as the person that they first met.

The point of all this? SA is hell, living alone is hell, having no friends is hell, having no relationships is hell, and this was the way that I found to get out of that hell that I had lived in for so many years. I still have SA. I'm still shy.... but the meeting of new people is the hardest part, and this party method really changed my life and expanded my circle of friends. It may work for you, it may not, but all of us ought to keep trying things until we find what does work... even if it's only an 6-8 hour solution.

Thoughts?
PaulKersey is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-14-2007, 09:32 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 143

re: SA Busting Method: "Blowing up" a party!


sounds like a temporary fix for a complex problem. like putting tape on something cracked instead of sealing it off completely. being able to find your "wild" and "fun" side is great, but won't do you any good when it comes to the long run with SA. I used to be in a fraternity (technically still am), hooking up with girls, yay party time, blah blah blah...i also had temporary fixes (mainly alcohol), but in the end, this only makes your SA worse because you are only prolonging your symptoms by not attacking SA directly (IE - using CBT stategies). Wouldn't you like to be your fun loving, wild self with out having to do all that mumbo jumbo, caffeine over loading crap? this is possible by attacking SA directly using certain techniques. find a good self help SA book and go from there.....

HOLLER
Grantonio is offline  
post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-14-2007, 09:57 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 50

Re: re: SA Busting Method: "Blowing up" a party!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Grantonio
sounds like a temporary fix for a complex problem. like putting tape on something cracked instead of sealing it off completely. being able to find your "wild" and "fun" side is great, but won't do you any good when it comes to the long run with SA. I used to be in a fraternity (technically still am), hooking up with girls, yay party time, blah blah blah...i also had temporary fixes (mainly alcohol), but in the end, this only makes your SA worse because you are only prolonging your symptoms by not attacking SA directly (IE - using CBT stategies). Wouldn't you like to be your fun loving, wild self with out having to do all that mumbo jumbo, caffeine over loading crap? this is possible by attacking SA directly using certain techniques. find a good self help SA book and go from there.....
Thanks for your comments. I have to say that I have great respect for CBT/DBT and all the people who have benefited from it. However, I tried it for years and had little success. I'm not saying this "party method" is the way for all, but it is one of the solutions that I use. I cannot argue with the results that it produces.

I also believe that there may be a residual benefit to this method in that it is essentially a form of exposure therapy. I mean, before this I "knew" that no woman would ever like me (my self esteem was so poor) and there is nothing like the (modest) successes I've had to dissuade myself of that notion. Because of these experiences, I now see myself in a much better light and look forward to further improvements in the future.

One thing I am absolutely unapologetic for is my use of benzos and SSRIs to treat my anxiety and stimulants to treat my ADD. I'm pretty sure that in my case, anxiety has a strong genetic component and I'm not averse to using reasonable medicinal intervention help me live a much fuller and more connected life.
PaulKersey is offline  
 
post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-14-2007, 11:31 PM
Neue Nihilist
 
Eraserhead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: North
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Posts: 2,391
I'm glad to hear you found this solution.

It might not seem like the best one, but if it works for you, then why not? It seems like a good way to form relationships and expose yourself to social situations.

Open up, it's the FBI Police! I'm Special Agent Detective Sargent Doctor Trenchcoat, and this is my partner The Right Honorable Professor Judge Captain Snake!
Eraserhead is offline  
post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-14-2007, 11:50 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 143

re: SA Busting Method: "Blowing up" a party!


i guess everyone's form of SA is different and what treats it can be different as well. I definitely do not have any sort of ADD what so ever so I can't relate to that, maybe the ADD contributes to SA in some way b/c of all the distractions that can occur. have you tried combing using CBT strategies while using meds? i hear that can help a lot. The thing is, i was doing the same crap back in undergrad, and when it comes down do it, these modest successes you're having would prove to much more useful down the road if you didn't have to take so many chemicals to get to this point of happiness. Even though I had awesome experiences while intoxicated and partying, this did not translate into dealing with SA in my relationships, my career, or talking to people on a more professional level. Also, depression runs hardcore in my family and i have yet to take a single SSRI, or anti-depressant since i refuse to take a pill to make my self "happy." maybe i should have taken some, it would have made some things easier, but in the long run, if I didn't chose to take the harder road in working on SA on my own i might not be where I am today in grad school and dealing with SA in much more healthier way. I guess, to me, it just seems like you're taking the easy way out when dealing with SA. There is no easy way to manage SA, ithere is no magical cure, it takes changing your thought processes which should not (in my mind) require a pill. It takes hard work to manage, a 24/7 deal.

if its building your confidence...good . just go with that momentum and maybe see a doctor about starting a SA plan, maybe you will have better luck now with CBT (or other types of training) now that you have more confidence. Just a side note...I also failed at CBT for a while, but i stuck with it and it has definitely paid off. Maybe your ADD gets in the way of CBT helping you out...i dunno.

haa, geez, i kind of rant...sorry, hope some of this helps..

HOLLER
Grantonio is offline  
post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-15-2007, 08:47 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 50

re: SA Busting Method: "Blowing up" a party!


Grantonio, You know, it sounds interesting to attempt some type of formal anti-anxiety training now that I'm properly medicated again. That hadn't occurred to me yet. I mean, the ADD screws up everything else, and it does make it very hard to concentrate on conversations. It makes sense... Maybe I'll give therapy it a try again someday. Good idea!

I want to empahsize that I'm not advocating some unrestrained/non-doctor approved substance abuse here. I believe in proceeding with caution in these things. I didn't like taking the Klonopin every day any more than I liked taking Adderall every day. But, having accepted that these conditions are not going away, I know I need to treat them. With the help of my doctor.

What I mean to say with regards to medical treatment of anxiety is: Go slow, be judicious, but by all means, do try!!! SA is a horrible tormentor and if medicine can help, then people should give it a go. I mean, what harm could come from trying an SSRI for 8 weeks? It might suck, but it might, just might, provide a real benefit. And wouldn't that be great if it turned out that just a simple ssri or benzo or beta-blocker helped tons? If they've been struggling a long time, people owe it to themselves to give themselves a shot at living a better life.
PaulKersey is offline  
post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-15-2007, 07:31 PM
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 297

re: SA Busting Method: "Blowing up" a party!


I'm glad this worked out for you

Although I would not advise you TOTALLY rely on it. It can be a crutch but it IS better than getting CRUNK like MOST guys do.

Myself I am trying listening to my Pimp *** music with affirmations. It doesnt get me into cocaine state but it gets me into a social state yo.
Then when I go out I'm Mr Warm and Friendly.
SunLite is offline  
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-15-2007, 08:23 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 50

Re: re: SA Busting Method: "Blowing up" a party!


Quote:
Originally Posted by SunLite
Myself I am trying listening to my Pimp *** music with affirmations. It doesnt get me into cocaine state but it gets me into a social state yo.
Then when I go out I'm Mr Warm and Friendly.
Yeah, I love some good music to get me in the proper mood to go out. Usually it's house or eclectronica, rap, sometimes classic rock or even upbeat Bob Dylan.

What do you mean "with affirmations"? Are these songs with a subliminal message or just ones with a good vibe to them? Or maybe the old school affirmations like telling yourself "I kick a**! I can do this!" in front of a mirror?

I sometimes use them right before I step out my front door, or when I'm in line at the grocery and there are a lot of people around I tell myself (inside my head) a whole bunch of positive stuff about who I am. It seems to help, but I don't know about long term. They only seem to last for a few minutes or so. I wonder if the boards here have any affirmations experts who know how to do these properly to get the best results...
PaulKersey is offline  
post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-17-2007, 10:05 PM
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 297

re: SA Busting Method: "Blowing up" a party!


I mean by affirmations. I read a couple of sheets of paper while I'm listening to my gangster rap or rock music. When I mean read I mean ****ing yell as loud as I can in the car with the biggest f'uckn smile on my face.

It isn't a cureall but it makes your day 10 times better.

Google Maniac High and Affirmations and I think you'll find what I read. It's related to pick up but you can see how it is done yo.
SunLite is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
On Social Awkwardness - Microsoft "host your party" video tooshytosay Coping With Social Anxiety 3 07-04-2011 09:23 PM
The "iam not going to die and lets do the math" method of getting better FoxHound212 Coping With Social Anxiety 4 02-04-2010 12:54 PM
Off to this "Party": Feeling nauseous, headache, anxiety SadRosesAreBeautiful Frustration 0 10-10-2008 08:22 PM
Release Date: "Death Race", "Street Fighter", "Alvin 2" TorLin Entertainment 4 08-30-2008 06:36 PM
"be happy." "dont be sad. Youre a great person." Hailz91 Frustration 7 03-29-2008 01:43 AM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome