Revisiting the past as your current self - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-25-2020, 08:48 PM Thread Starter
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Revisiting the past as your current self

What if you could go back to a previous time period in your life as the person you are today? Would anything change or would it be an exact repeat of what happened before?

If I compare myself now to how I was 10 years ago, it would seem as if a brain transplant took place!

There were hundreds of social opportunities in high school but back then I despised myself and didn't know who I was. I hated the world and all the people in it. I thought people were annoying and superficial and tried everything to avoid EVERYONE in any way possible as if avoidance was a skill to be developed just like a professional athlete works on their abilities.

And now my worldview and personality have done a 180!

Even now I can feel myself change - who will I be at 40 years? 50? 70?

Have you noticed any changes in yourself over the past 10 years? Are you the same as before? Is there a moment/period of time in your life that you'd like to do over with your current mindset?

John 3:16 (NIV) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-25-2020, 10:45 PM
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I would save myself from certain traumatic experiences and the subsequent brain damage. I thought I was in bad shape back then but had no idea how bad it could get. "Don't become me" I would tell my younger self.
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-26-2020, 11:36 AM
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My past self was optimistic about solving my problems. I figured if I just worked hard enough, I could overcome my limitations. If I went back in time, I'd just bust out my razorblades and spare myself the decades of pointless misery.

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there.
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-26-2020, 02:03 PM
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I've changed alot. Every single year. We're continuously evolving even if we don't know it.

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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-11-2020, 01:54 PM
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Yes I would like to go back and live life differently, I can only do that if I am conscious. It seems if we're not conscious then we repeat the same thing over and over. I would talk, join in classroom participation, I'd have many friends, and meet all my milestones in the desired time. I'd love to go back to high school, it was so nice, I could have done it differently. Eh maybe in another life, I would be your girl, um Katy Perry, wow she's with Orlando Bloom! No way, what a elf stealer, ah such a nice elf, oh wow I had a crush on him, oops.

Yeah I would do it differently, that is life, life is lived forwards but understood backwards. I see the world upsidedown but in my brain it's rightsideup. There's so many paradoxes and counterintuitive innate intuitions, it's confusing really. So many people think their puzzle will fit into another person like falling in love, but it doesn't. Sometimes it does, if you believe in it, it's not rare, it's just people don't want to believe in it anymore.

I would still keep to myself like an introvert but I would definitely talk more, take more chances, risk my life more, ask to go to parties, be there for someone who is shy or depressed. Anyway I don't feel so bad about what happened, but if there was a chance I would do more than I did when I was definitely not conscious and just going through the motions of under 30 years old. I guess we are supposed to be unaware of ourselves in those years? Maybe it's a survival mechanism in most poeple.

Most people wake up earlier, like my sister, or maybe she's just different than me. Others like me with social anxiety seem to wake up earlier as well, like they're having great lives at 20 and here I am 10 years later and now I feel like I am having a great life. That doesn't matter really, what really matters is life experience, you need to experience life in order for you brain neurons to connect, make sense of yourself and others in the world, and move on, that's how you make progress in life.

Of course if we avoid life, there's not much if any progress, there's delayed milestones, and we are left with feeling shame and what others think of us for being different than they are. If only we could understand ourselves and the brain and not give up on ourselves for the sake of the whole world. The whole world that's living life or have better lives is just because there's nothing in their way to hold them back from experiencing life and making connections in their brain neurons and making progress in their lives and moving on.

I'm not ashamed, I won't do it to myself any longer. We should own what happened to us, take responsibility for what we chose during certain social anxiety times, accept ourselves for who we are, lay our past to rest, and move on. But I want to keep good times in my past, those were good times, I don't want to feel bad and hate myself for having social anxiety, it was a good life, it was a good perspective on life, I would choose this life over a normal life, 100 percent a curse and a blessing.

"We've Found The Formula" - START USING IT NOW!!! | Dr. Joe Dispenza
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-11-2020, 02:08 PM
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I would've kissed a few people and kept a friendship or two.

Also I'd punch me in my stupid face. Wait. I don't need time travel for that. This new info will come in handy.

If you're not changing you're doing it wrong.

Flowers will grow from these wounds.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-11-2020, 03:16 PM
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I would be 13... and I would tell myself to start homeschooling/online school right now. Would've been better at the start of the year but this works too.
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-11-2020, 03:33 PM
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Even over the course of a year, I feel like a completely different person.

There are obviously a ton of things I'd like to do over, but I don't really indulge those sorts of fantasies. Besides, I had to go through what I went through to get to this point anyway.

The world is not my home. I'm just passing through.
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-12-2020, 04:27 AM
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I think probably even going back 20 years would be quite different for me - knowing what I know now. I was just remembering today how manic and crazy I was about 17 years ago - whereas I wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until the end of 2011. If I'd only known what was happening to me then maybe I could have gotten some help earlier.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-12-2020, 08:13 AM
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If I could go back to around the time I started high school as my present self I think things would have turned out very differently. There's many things I should have tried and at least I'd somewhat have a better idea of what I should have done for the future.
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-27-2020, 07:12 PM
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I dunno if this is common in people with social anxiety, but I had something like a late development of subjectivity. Until college I didn't really have a strong perspective on things or think in terms of goals I wanted to achieve and the steps needed to achieve them. I was just kind of running along the rails I had been set on without thinking of much beyond getting through the day. But when I think "if only I could have a do-over," I remind myself that 10 years from now I'll be thinking the same thing about the period I'm in right now. This is my do-over.
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-27-2020, 07:16 PM
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I think it would scare the hell out of my past self if he met me and he knew he'd be me someday. I liked myself in the past even though I kinda knew I was screwed. Now I just hate everything passively and distract myself from that by focusing on stuff that doesn't depress the hell out of me (because I have no choice really).
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-27-2020, 07:19 PM
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I'd like to even just go back 15 or 20 years. Go on a mood stabiliser, stay at work, not get such a terrible credit rating - and buy real estate.
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