Remembering Names - Social Anxiety Forum
Reply
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-22-2009, 03:51 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
mathman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 59

Remembering Names


Anyone else have an extreme difficulty remembering names? I'm not sure if it is caused by my SA but I do notice that as my SA has grown stronger I am less able to remember names. It does not matter if its the name of a person that I meet or if I read it from a book, I can rarely remember names. However, I do remember most everything else quite well (sequence of events, appearance, voice, book related stuff, etc.) and can recall that stuff without difficulty. Out of 100 names I will probably only remember 3.
mathman is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-22-2009, 03:53 PM
SAS Member
 
Prodigal Son's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: The Wastelands (Kansas)
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,110
Holy **** yes, I suck at this. It is easy to recognize faces, but I often forget common American names in minutes after just being introduced.

I know you can see me. Bad guys always see me. My plans suck. People die. It's always a mess.
Prodigal Son is offline  
post #3 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-22-2009, 03:56 PM
Trouble.
 
sanspants08's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: PA, USA
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,799
Yup. I'm incredibly terrible at it. Most of the time I don't even ask for peoples' names because I know I'm going to forget, even though I'm going to remember the other details about them. At work people call me by my name and I nearly reply with phrases such as, "Hey, girl-with-the-80s-hair!" or "What's up, dude-with-the-pants-that-are-always-too-short!"
sanspants08 is offline  
 
post #4 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-22-2009, 04:17 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
mathman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 59
Does anyone know a way to get better at remembering names?
mathman is offline  
post #5 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-22-2009, 04:24 PM
User Requested Permanent Ban
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 196
Unless someone has an unusual name, I'm either gonna forget it or confuse it with something else. I'm like an 80 year old alzheimers patient in that regard.
adsf321dsa is offline  
post #6 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-22-2009, 04:27 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 20
Wow. I have this problem as well. There's pretty much no chance that I'll ever remembe anyones name after the first time I meet them. or the second time, or the third time. Sometimes I forget within seconds after they tell me. I also forget names of people who I've known for years. But I'll remember how they look, where I saw them, if they asked at what time and date I saw them I would probably be able to tell them. But not names.
People get so offended when I don't remember their names. Lol. It's not like I try not too. But I just can't remember.
Strange_One is offline  
post #7 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-22-2009, 08:52 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: VA
Gender: Female
Age: 34
Posts: 22
I can never remember anyone's name! I don't even bother listening when people introduce themselves anymore, because I know there's no hope. It's horrible.
bitofajungle is offline  
post #8 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-22-2009, 10:18 PM
SAS Member
 
Taija's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Finland
Gender: Female
Age: 26
Posts: 424
Same here; I still can't remember all my classmates' names, even though I've known them since last August. It's really embarrassing.

I wonder if this really has something to do with SA?
Taija is offline  
post #9 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-22-2009, 10:21 PM
User Requested Permanent Ban
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Age: 32
Posts: 2,770
i psyche myself out of remembering names. for the most part i can remember them alright, but i get so afraid of calling someone the wrong name that even if im really sure i have their name correct i still call them "man" er something general
Wirt is offline  
post #10 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-22-2009, 11:09 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Portland, OR
Gender: Male
Age: 34
Posts: 62
You just need to associate the name with something, anything. Someone else you know who shares the name (hopefuly someone you could name right away). Objects with nouns that sound similar. Things like that. Then when you need to remember the name, you'll think Oh this person has the same name as ...
rossifranklin is offline  
post #11 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-23-2009, 05:02 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: VA
Gender: Female
Age: 34
Posts: 22
I went to the same high school all 4 years, and senior year one of our teachers made us play that game where the first person says their name, then the second person says the first person's name and thier own, and so on.

I was near the end. I remember that I was so worried that I'd say someone's name wrong, that I told the teacher I couldn't do it. And they looked at me like I was crazy, and was like, are you new or something, and everyone laughed at me.

That traumatized me a bit, I think. lol
bitofajungle is offline  
post #12 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-23-2009, 06:24 AM
SAS Member
 
morningmud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: GA
Gender: Female
Age: 45
Posts: 389
I'm really bad at remembering names. I had to have my son tell me his gf's name at least a half dozen times and I still keep trying to give her a different name.

At least I'm not as afraid of people as I am spiders!
morningmud is offline  
post #13 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-23-2009, 04:52 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
mathman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by rossifranklin View Post
You just need to associate the name with something, anything. Someone else you know who shares the name (hopefuly someone you could name right away). Objects with nouns that sound similar. Things like that. Then when you need to remember the name, you'll think Oh this person has the same name as ...
You have no idea how many times I have tried this approach. Rarely does it work for me.
mathman is offline  
post #14 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-23-2009, 05:49 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: south florida
Gender: Male
Posts: 69
i guess everyone is different cause sometimes i know names of people i don't even know, just have heard of a few times. and i feel weird to use their name if i do formally meet them so i'll pretend like i don't know it.
dyssomnia is offline  
post #15 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-23-2009, 07:48 PM
Inactive - User Requested
 
Join Date: May 2008
Gender: Female
Age: 32
Posts: 1,521
Yup, the other day I had to ask my lab partner her name three times in one single class before she ended up writing it down for me. It didn't help that her name was foreign either.
SadRosesAreBeautiful is offline  
post #16 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-23-2009, 11:03 PM
SAS Member
 
shyvr6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Age: 41
Posts: 31,309
My Mood: Bitchy
For some reason I'm actually pretty good at remembering peoples names.
shyvr6 is offline  
post #17 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-24-2009, 11:23 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
mathman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by shyvr6 View Post
For some reason I'm actually pretty good at remembering peoples names.
What is your method for remembering names?
mathman is offline  
post #18 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-24-2009, 02:58 PM
SAS Member
 
shyvr6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Age: 41
Posts: 31,309
My Mood: Bitchy
I don't have a method. Their names just pop into my head when I see them.
shyvr6 is offline  
post #19 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-24-2009, 05:57 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: West Coast, USA
Gender: Female
Posts: 163
I know some people use the technique of repeating the name of the person they just met several times in the course of the conversation - "hi Jane, nice to meet you! So tell me, Jane, how do you like this party? Well, Jane, it was really nice to meet you", etc. I feel weird doing that, and I'm not entirely sure that would even hammer it into my head enough for the next time I saw the person. The last guy I dated had ADD and had to use that technique to remember names. It creeped me out at first, when he was doing it to me, because it seemed like he was trying to use some kind of slick manipulation technique he read in some kind of "how to score with women" book. It does remind me of something a salesman would use to try to gain a potential customer's trust, but that's just me, a lot of people do seem to like when people say their name a lot in conversation.

If I'm in a work situation, sometimes I will write down names and identifying information (department, job title, physical traits) on a notepad and keep it in my bag. In social situations, I usually just hope that I don't need to use their name and listen for someone else to call them. Once in awhile, I will feel ok enough to say "I'm sorry, I am so terrible with names, what was your name, again?"
shadowsandlight is offline  
post #20 of 36 (permalink) Old 01-25-2009, 01:41 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: MI
Gender: Male
Age: 35
Posts: 168
My Mood: Brooding
Yeah, a lot of people have this problem, including myself. It can be frustrating, but the only way to remember really is to associate it with something familiar, as a previous poster said. Or you could just walk around with a tape recorder everytime you meet somebody. Luckily, I was given a seating chart on my first day at a new job, or else I still wouldn't know anyone's name...
SocialDisaster is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
remembering faces silentbutdeadly General Discussion 9 09-13-2013 10:41 PM
What are some names you like??? Shauna The Dead General Discussion 28 05-29-2009 06:00 PM
remembering past social experiences shyvr6 Frustration 5 04-11-2008 07:46 AM
Need help remembering a quote shy1984 General Discussion 1 09-30-2007 12:31 AM
Remembering Why I Had Social Anxiety in the First Place another_loser Frustration 3 10-11-2006 12:46 AM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome