Rejection - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-31-2021, 08:01 AM
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Nobody likes rejection. But the way to get so it dosent bother you is get rejected more so you get used to rejection. Kind of like if your afraid of asking women out you should approach like a hundred women in one day and ask each one out. By the end of the day you will be use to rejection. (You may have no self confidence as will if your rejected by 100 women straight so that would be the downside). But at least you will be desentize yourself to rejection!
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post #22 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-31-2021, 08:28 AM
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Originally Posted by chrisinmd View Post
Nobody likes rejection. But the way to get so it dosent bother you is get rejected more so you get used to rejection. Kind of like if your afraid of asking women out you should approach like a hundred women in one day and ask each one out. By the end of the day you will be use to rejection. (You may have no self confidence as will if your rejected by 100 women straight so that would be the downside). But at least you will be desentize yourself to rejection!

Loads of rejections with no gains in self-confidence in my opinion might have a negative effect on someone's sub-consious, which if true might add to someone's physical signs of anxiousness (as it possibly relates to social interactions, not the fear of rejection)?

These are just my thoughts/opinions, I am not a Doctor/Health Professional etc. so please draw your own conclusions.
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post #23 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-31-2021, 10:34 AM
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Originally Posted by OCDguy1 View Post
Loads of rejections with no gains in self-confidence in my opinion might have a negative effect on someone's sub-consious, which if true might add to someone's physical signs of anxiousness (as it possibly relates to social interactions, not the fear of rejection)?
I think it would depend on what sort of mindset one approaches this hypothetical exercise with. I do something similar in an effort to break my crippling perfectionism: putting myself deliberately into situations where mistakes are likely to occur. (Harmless ones, of course.) If you go into it knowing what you want to achieve, knowing that you're trying to train your brain that mistakes are sometimes OK, and knowing that you're trying to teach yourself that these so-called horrible consequences of making these mistakes oftentimes don't really happen, I find it a helpful exercise. Like, if you were to undertake the hypothetical rejection exercise with the intention of being rejected so your subconscious brain will learn that life goes on. Just so long as the message you're taking away from all those rejections isn't, "I'm a failure, nobody likes me."
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post #24 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-31-2021, 02:44 PM
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Used to **** me all the way up. Sad songs and looking at pictures of myself wondering what's so wrong.

Now my way of thinking is: There's a lot of people on this planet. I can't be rejected by every single one right? Haha... Right?

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post #25 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-31-2021, 04:49 PM
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There's tons of people who are odd, irritating, arrogant, etc. who are rejected all the time but aren't bothered in the slightest by it. You can try to make them feel bad when you reject them, but it's like they're immune. I'm not saying everyone should try to be like them, but being rejected is a part of life -- it happens to everyone. Just because you personally don't reject anyone unless you despise them doesn't mean that the people who reject you despise you.
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post #26 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-31-2021, 06:09 PM
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I've tried many times to avoid feeling rejected by telling myself that I shouldn't care / or should expect to be rejected because of who I am, but no matter how many times I've tried, rejection always gets me and I get into a spiral that goes from overthinking every single word I've said that could have made the other person hate me/reject me to coming to the conclusion that I will always be hated/rejected, that I don't deserve to be loved, just to come out of it again by telling myself: "well, but there are just soooo many people in this planet, someone's gotta like me, right?" So I try again, get rejected again and the cycle repeats.

It hurts every time no matter how much I try to convince myself it shouldn't.



I think it has a lot to do with self-worth but also, the fact that we all want to belong in this society, I mean, nobody wants to be called an outcast and be left alone. We all want to connect at some point so being rejected by the ones we thought we could trust is painful. Thing is, we are all going to be rejected at some point in our lives, we just can't be liked by just everyone as we also don't like just anyone that comes across us. I think the situation gets out of control when it keeps repeating or when you can't seem to run away from the place you feel rejected at (let's say, you feel rejected at your current job but can't leave it for economical reasons; or you feel rejected at school but can't transfer to another one).



So yeah, rejection sucks, but as others have pointed out, as long as you go out and put yourself in the position on which you can be rejected, I guess there's no way you can't run away from experiencing it.

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