regular meditation feedback - non randomized trial
About the study:
I am about to carry out a study on the efficiency of minfulness meditation against moderate/light sad. The experimental group includes one person, I, and there is no control group. The trial is not randomized. As you may know, many studies have shown that meditation can rewire the brain a little and diminish anxiety. It doesn't appear to make wonder against sad, but I still think it is underused.
About the subject:
I am a 26 year old guy with light sa. It was still moderate a few years ago but it got better thanks to therapies (a lot of them), medications (a lot of them: SSRIs, MAOIs, antipsychotics, etc..) and acting classes (i managed to start by drinking before going). I also had alcohol problems (no addiction but I often used it as a medication).
Overall, I found that meds and cbt only had limited efficacy. When I say I still have light sa, I don't mean just basic shyness. It means that though I can go outside, talk to strangers, have a few friends and be reasonably functional at work, I almost never stop wondering about what people are thinking and usually feel insecure, even around close friends. It's exhausting, it makes it hard to fully use your brain as soon as you're not alone, and I almost never feel happy. I usually feel lonely and numb. I never had a GF. I sometimes still drink before social events.
About the experiment:
I will try to meditate once daily, twice when I can. I will start with 20-30 min sessions, using videos from a psychiatrist who has worked a on sad and now focuses more on meditation (he is pretty famous in my country). If it becomes easier with time, I will try longer sessions. I have tried meditation in the past, but I never managed to do it for more than one week. My ability to focus is pretty weak and my mind often races a lot. I would say I'm not a good candidate, but it probably makes the test more interesting. This time I'm really motivated since I haven't fell really well lately.
I will give regular feedback.
Have a good day/night.
Ps: if some sentences don't sound very natural, it's because I'm not a native speaker.