Quantify: How much of a loner are you? - Social Anxiety Forum
View Poll Results: What is you optimal number of desired social contacts?
0 6 5.71%
1-3 41 39.05%
4-10 43 40.95%
>10 15 14.29%
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post #1 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 01:56 PM Thread Starter
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Quantify: How much of a loner are you?

Assuming no SAD (just guess as best as you can), what do you think is your maximal limit to the number of people with whom you can or want to maintain stable social relationships with? This includes Internet and note the "stable" part. Immediate family not to be included.

I'm taking this from the following:

Dunbar's number is suggested to be a theoretical cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships. I found this quote interesting:

Dunbar, in Grooming, Gossip, and the Evolution of Language, proposes furthermore that language may have arisen as a "cheap" means of social grooming, allowing early humans to efficiently maintain social cohesion. Without language, Dunbar speculates, humans would have to expend nearly half their time on social grooming, which would have made productive, cooperative effort nearly impossible. Language may have allowed societies to remain cohesive, while reducing the need for physical and social intimacy.

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post #2 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 02:09 PM
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I voted 4-10. I was aiming for 4 to 5.

Beyond that I can't honestly see my relationships being worth much. They would be acquaintances at most.
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post #3 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 02:12 PM
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About 3 is optimal
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post #4 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 02:19 PM
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I have no desire to be sociable. People suck, and I feel like cutting my own throat when I have to be around them.
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post #5 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 02:29 PM
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Probably no more than 5. Stable to me would mean good friends, that actually give a **** about me. It'd be great if these friends on mine were also able to be friends with each other, as then there would be no picking and choosing who I want to spend more time with. I think any more than 5 would jsut be overwhelming to try to keep up.

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post #6 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 02:58 PM
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All I want is a girlfriend. If I have one or two friends on top of that, fine, but it's not necessary.
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post #7 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 03:03 PM
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I like to do things on my own but I also enjoy being in the company of others. Depends on my mood and the activity. Drinking or seeing a movie would be miserable by yourself. Yet I enjoying hiking/camping alone.
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post #8 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 03:14 PM
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I had one best friend, three others I keep in contact with, one internet friend and not to sure about college....realistically this is even too much but because I don't see them all at once or talk to them on a daily bases it is okay

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post #9 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 03:42 PM
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I'm sorry but I must say sometimes the people who think they are the wisest and most self-sufficient are the ones who need to hear what the world has to say the most..

maybe about 7 for me.. it gets kind of tricky when you conglomerate the online and real life friendships though.. I probably have more than 7 online people who I enjoy keeping tabs on, but I also noticed that at one point upon adding an influx of contacts I became overwhelmed and thus more detached.. 150 or even 50 seems unrealistic..

these 2 friends of my sister were posting on facebook how they have like 2 or 300 mutual friends.. I was astounded lol.. but really how much can they care about each of those people? well, I being one of them personally don't think of them as extremely considerate people.. so what's the point if you can't really give of yourself to all those people?
however I think having more than 2 or 3 people to potentially turn to is important..

feel free to message me if you'd like me to share what helpful things I've learned with you
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post #10 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 04:21 PM
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I don't really care what the number is so long as someone is around to do things when I want and is not around when I don't. If that number is 2 then great. If it's 20 then still not a problem. My social needs are not based on number of people.

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post #11 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 04:41 PM
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1 gf, two best friends, 2 real life friends, and several online friends, with several acquaintances and I'm good to go.

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post #12 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 05:04 PM
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4-10. Any more than that would get on my nerves to be honest. Currently I have 2 best friends, 3 acquaintance/friends and then the family members that I'm close to, (like my mom and one of my brothers.)

"Stay close to anything that makes you glad to be alive."
"I've spent most of my life riding horses. The rest I've just wasted."
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post #13 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 05:07 PM
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I put down 1-3. I don't want to be around people every day, but don't want to be totally alone all the time either. A few friends are just fine with me.

"I'm nobody, who are you?" - Emily Dickinson
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post #14 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 05:09 PM
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I don't mind having 3-5 close friends, people that I can count on. Everyone else isn't trusted, and they're mostly acquaintances.
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post #15 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 06:56 PM
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I don't care as long as it's at least 1 person.
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post #16 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 07:07 PM
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Maybe 2-3 outside of family.
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post #17 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 07:48 PM
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Voted 1-3; any more than three seems like an awful lot.
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post #18 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-21-2011, 09:17 PM
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Assuming no SA? Over 10, EASILY.
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post #19 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-22-2011, 05:02 AM
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i would like 4-5 close true friends and a few acquaintances. not even 4-5 just 2 more would be nice.
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post #20 of 29 (permalink) Old 08-22-2011, 06:38 AM
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