People Being Dismissive Towards You - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-08-2019, 02:23 AM Thread Starter
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People Being Dismissive Towards You


Does this happen to you often?

I can be dismissive towards people at work but only due to shyness/anxiety. But it hurts when you know someone who is social and engaging towards everyone but is dismissive towards you.

One of the managers is dismissive with me. The times when he noticed my clothing he wouldn't say it to me and talk to someone else about it and when I try to joke along he's dismissive.

I generally get dismissed when asking questions. This girl at work even though at times she's nice towards me but generally she's weird towards me and I get such an uncomfortable vibe.

She always look grumpy towards me and replies in an annoyed way. It's hard for me to say hi to her or try to talk to her. It makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Or when she asks me why I did something work wise because she has to explain it to another employee interstate and I explain to her that I spoke to the manager and he confirmed to do that, she will always say apparently I was told to do that. It's always apparently and her tone indicates that she doesn't trust me.

She can be a little ***** towards me.
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-08-2019, 02:48 AM
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-08-2019, 05:27 AM
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It happens to someone I care about a lot and it really pisses me off. Sorry to hear it happens to you too.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-23-2019, 03:49 PM
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Yeah it happens to me a lot, especially at work. I think it's because people think I'm retarded because I'm quiet and physically small.

That's where the pain comes in
Like a second skeleton
Trying to fit beneath the skin
I can't fit the feelings in

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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-24-2019, 01:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
Does this happen to you often?

I can be dismissive towards people at work but only due to shyness/anxiety. But it hurts when you know someone who is social and engaging towards everyone but is dismissive towards you.

One of the managers is dismissive with me. The times when he noticed my clothing he wouldn't say it to me and talk to someone else about it and when I try to joke along he's dismissive.

I generally get dismissed when asking questions. This girl at work even though at times she's nice towards me but generally she's weird towards me and I get such an uncomfortable vibe.

She always look grumpy towards me and replies in an annoyed way. It's hard for me to say hi to her or try to talk to her. It makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Or when she asks me why I did something work wise because she has to explain it to another employee interstate and I explain to her that I spoke to the manager and he confirmed to do that, she will always say apparently I was told to do that. It's always apparently and her tone indicates that she doesn't trust me.

She can be a little ***** towards me.
Those 2 snotwads simply do not like you, and lack the ability to act professionally, as is required in the workplace.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-27-2019, 05:08 PM
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Yeah Ive had this as I am sure everyone in life has at times. But yeah its very uncomfortable and depending how you're feeling in yourself makes a huge difference.

I tell you what really winds me up around this area though...

When people do it when the circumstances provide them that opportunity.

So say people are treating you OK to start but then they realise you're different. Now I dont always mean different in a negative way it could be because they think you're different in a better way like more naturally friendly or better skill wise, better looking etc. Or it could be the more negatives like they see you arent like them in being quiet or not conforming to the clique etc.
It doesnt really matter the reason and I understand that everyone isnt always going to be everyones friend or choice to socialise with. But the different would always be in a way thats different from their comfort zone.

When the circumstances are right i.e. that person is deemed vulnerable in some way. Thats when you notice some peoples true colors and they can be rude in a way that they never would normally. Or maybe I should say that is how they are normally and all the rest is an act.
That bothers me on levels more than just it being personal to me because it feels like you cant be yourself or show any weakness around a lot of people. I guess thats why people have cliques etc to have some security from this type of thing.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-02-2019, 01:21 PM
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I know how you feel.


I usually find I start feeling like that because I don't always have the kinds of people around me who keep me feeling good about myself and my choices. And I include myself in that category.


When I already feel crappy about myself and then I have someone come up and say something about me, it makes me feel worse-and because it's hurtful it makes me think there's someone else who sees me as pathetic-in addition to all the negative self talk about myself.


I started listening to the Louise Hay lectures on self love and self acceptance-they've really made me feel better about myself (and I'm a crabby, bad tempered person), and also find people who make you FEEL good about yourself-not look good.


I have had a lot of people treat me worse than the way the treat other people and depending on the day, and how good I feel about myself, I can brush it off or take it personally.
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-02-2019, 03:46 PM
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That sucks. I tend to be shy too but when I speak I try to speak loud and clear so I don't come off as insecure/shy. Don't be afraid to speak up and say "that's not professional." Use eye contact and remember that you got hired to work there so you are worthy and know what you are doing. Hopefully that makes sense.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-04-2019, 12:55 PM
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It's been happening most of my life.


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