Not sure what will make me happy. - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 04:54 PM Thread Starter
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Not sure what will make me happy.


Does anyone else feel like they don’t know what to do with their lives because they have no idea what they will be happing doing for the rest of their life?
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 05:05 PM
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Yes, everything feels meaningless.
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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 05:15 PM
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Yes
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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 05:49 PM
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What are your hobbies and interests? Once you identify what those are, you can start looking at career paths that line up with your interests.

It's also a matter of trying new things. You don't know what you don't know. You could totally love doing something and be very talented at it, but if you never try, you'll never know that. I believe in giving everything a chance. For example, I'm not an outdoorsy person at all but I recently learned that I actually really love hiking and it makes me happy.

"Don't be afraid to give up the good and go for the great."
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 05:56 PM
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I know what will make me happy and make life feel meaningful but I feel like I can't achieve those things so what's the point of living?

"Don't sweat the petty things
and don't pet the sweaty things."
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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 06:42 PM
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I don't think I've ever experienced happiness. Even when doing things I "enjoy", there's always anxiety and **** in my head preventing me from feeling that enjoyment. I have no idea what to do about it either - if anything can be done.
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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 07:08 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allthatsparkles View Post
What are your hobbies and interests? Once you identify what those are, you can start looking at career paths that line up with your interests.

It's also a matter of trying new things. You don't know what you don't know. You could totally love doing something and be very talented at it, but if you never try, you'll never know that. I believe in giving everything a chance. For example, I'm not an outdoorsy person at all but I recently learned that I actually really love hiking and it makes me happy.

I like this line of thinking but I feel I never have the chance to be
exposed to new things…. I also over analyze EVERYTHING. So when something comes up I usually talk my way out of it and I hate that about myself…. I have no idea how to change that.
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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 07:10 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Hush7 View Post
Yes, especially since everyone seems to be unhappy with whatever they're doing. You end up wondering what's the point when you'll end up miserable like everyone else.

I think about this all the time. What few freinds I have always tell what i should be doing to be happy when they are just as miserable as me.....
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 07:11 PM Thread Starter
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Yes, everything feels meaningless.

What I think every day from sun up to sun down.
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 07:15 PM
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why am i still alive. why cant i just die
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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 07:16 PM
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I agree with all of you. Stinkily...
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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 07:19 PM
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@IvyNightShade (for some reason I cannot quote you): I totally understand how you feel. New experiences can sometimes be very intimidating and it can be tempting to somehow talk yourself out of them.

The best suggestion I have for you is to invest in new things in a way that makes it harder for you to back out last minute because of anxiety. Here's an example: You know that feeling you get in your stomach right before the roller coaster goes down? That anxiety of knowing something's about to happen, and yet, you're strapped in, there's no where to go, so you HAVE to go through with it. That's how I would think about trying new things, at least until you can break the habit of over-thinking.

At the end of the day, you have to get yourself into the mindset that by not trying, you're losing by default. On the other hand, if you try something, and it goes horribly, then you're at least one more hobby/activity/interest closer to finding something that you do like. And remember, it's totally okay to not be good at something or dislike it! Don't look at it as failure or something to be upset/ashamed about.

"Don't be afraid to give up the good and go for the great."
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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 07:31 PM
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Are you in college or going to college? I feel that going to a university would be a waste of money (for me because I'm completely undecided in my future), but I do want to go to community college just to take random classes that might interest me.

If you don't have the money or aren't interested in college, there are many free online resources that you can read that might direct you to where you want to go. Once you've found a possible interest, try online tutorials or projects involving that interest just to try something hands-on.

Look up existentialism if you're bored. It's the philosophy that basically says that life is what you make it: it can be as meaningless or as meaningful as you choose. If you don't think there's meaning in your life, make meaning.
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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 08:46 PM
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Look up existentialism if you're bored. It's the philosophy that basically says that life is what you make it: it can be as meaningless or as meaningful as you choose. If you don't think there's meaning in your life, make meaning.

Agree with this x100. You're in charge of your own life and future.

If your life is boring, you can change it. If you're life is headed in the wrong direction, you can fix it. If you're stuck in a rut, you can get yourself out of it. The bottom line is that even though life often feels like it's out of our hands, there is always something we can do to change our circumstances, even if only slightly.

"Don't be afraid to give up the good and go for the great."
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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 11:58 PM
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I always said I would never work a job if it causes me to be unhappy. I get really frustrated with people (like my brother trying to give me advice) when they say things like "Everyone hates their job" "You will never find a job you like". I refuse to believe that. Their are people out there who love their jobs and love getting up going to work. I want to be one of those people. I will never make a career out of something I dont enjoy.

But as to answer your question properly, I wouldn't say I'm unsure of what to do. I have my goals, it's just me getting off my *** and making them happen.

I guess the only thing you can do is try out different jobs, take up courses, see what interests you and what brings you joy the most.
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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-31-2013, 12:35 AM
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I know it but i don't know how to get there. Or maybe I'm just lazy.
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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-31-2013, 12:42 AM
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Find something that makes you smile, and keep doing it.

Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-31-2013, 01:17 AM
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I have interests but it's hard for me to find a place for them in a career based setting (and to establish whether I'm interested in them enough to turn them into the main part of my life). I also doubt myself with any life choice nowadays. I grew up relying on other people's opinions on what I should do because I thought I was wrong for not valuing the same things as they did, rather than realising that we're all different and need to follow our own path. This created a lot of bad, confidence destroying results for me and now I guess I'm suffering from a warped form of 'learned helplessness' (which is stupid seeing as I haven't actually taken my own iniative yet!). It all comes down to fear of failure and the unknown really.

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Originally Posted by Cascades View Post
I always said I would never work a job if it causes me to be unhappy. I get really frustrated with people (like my brother trying to give me advice) when they say things like "Everyone hates their job" "You will never find a job you like". I refuse to believe that. Their are people out there who love their jobs and love getting up going to work. I want to be one of those people. I will never make a career out of something I dont enjoy.
I have never been able to understand people who accept working a job they hate as if that's how it should be. It sounds like hell to me. Then again, I don't have a lot of things going on in my life so maybe for people who have an active social life and/or a family of their own it isn't seen as such a massive sacrifice. As I'm not aiming for things like a family I probably just can't relate to their attitude.
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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-02-2013, 09:19 AM Thread Starter
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The thing is I don’t even have any real hobbies. I mean I guess cooking and interior decorating but what the hell am I suppose to do with that? I don’t think I can become the next Martha Stewart. So with that being said, there are very few things in life I enjoy doing…. SO I have no clue what to even look for. It sucks.
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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-02-2013, 09:19 AM Thread Starter
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Thank you to everyone that posted. I really appreciate it.
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