Not responding to people's texts - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 11:21 AM Thread Starter
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Not responding to people's texts

Sometimes I don't answer a text because I don't know what to say or how to express it. Oftentimes, when I have to answer something on the spot either in person or by text, what comes out is some autistic word vomit: stuff that makes sense to me but is missing crucial information to other people. I therefore need to recollect my thoughts, put myself in their shoes, and make a coherent answer. This takes time, and will often make me stall. The problem with stalling is that you are leaving the other person hanging: causing them stress, or if they like you, emotional anguish. "When is he going to reply???" It ends up being that they assume that you either don't care about their feelings of stress and anticipation, or are trying to make them feel stressed ON PURPOSE. What then, is the solution?

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - Wayne Gretzky

Living in the East Bay Area in California; my hometown's Mississauga, Ontario.
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 11:25 AM
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OMG....I have this problem. This guy always text me and I say I'm busy or don't respond. Sometimes I just don't feel like texting and other times I don't know what to say. I also don't know how to end texts. I'm always thinking about what the other person is thinking. Texting is so stressful, I try to avoid it.

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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 11:39 AM
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I don't think most people care that much if you take your time in replying. I only check my phone a few times each day so I'm pretty much never going to reply to a text within the first few hours and there's nothing I text I need or expect an immediate response too. The only time I care much is if I have some reason to think they either might not have received the text or don't know how to operate their phone, which is uncommon.

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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 01:43 PM
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I have this problems too. Sometimes it takes me several days to respond to text messages. Other times so much time has passed since I got a message that it feels awkward to respond to it. It makes me feel so guilty.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 03:51 PM
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You don't have to respond to a text right away. Take some time to think of a response and then send. I try to respond quickly but I get sidetracked doing other things.
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 04:01 PM
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I have issues replying to text messages too. Most of the time I don't even know what to say and then I feel like the other person thinks I don't care or they get bored and just stop replying.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 10:52 PM
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Lots of people don't respond to texts right away, and most people don't expect an instant response. Don't worry. If people are trying to have a convo with you you could just tell them you don't like texting
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