Not responding to people's texts - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 11:21 AM Thread Starter
Newly Optimistic
 
vicente's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: East Bay Area, California
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Posts: 2,325
My Mood: Daring

Not responding to people's texts


Sometimes I don't answer a text because I don't know what to say or how to express it. Oftentimes, when I have to answer something on the spot either in person or by text, what comes out is some autistic word vomit: stuff that makes sense to me but is missing crucial information to other people. I therefore need to recollect my thoughts, put myself in their shoes, and make a coherent answer. This takes time, and will often make me stall. The problem with stalling is that you are leaving the other person hanging: causing them stress, or if they like you, emotional anguish. "When is he going to reply???" It ends up being that they assume that you either don't care about their feelings of stress and anticipation, or are trying to make them feel stressed ON PURPOSE. What then, is the solution?

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - Wayne Gretzky

Living in the East Bay Area in California; my hometown's Mississauga, Ontario.
vicente is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 11:25 AM
I Am Second
 
Kevin001's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: USA ~ Louisiana
Language: American
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Posts: 55,658
My Mood: Inspired
OMG....I have this problem. This guy always text me and I say I'm busy or don't respond. Sometimes I just don't feel like texting and other times I don't know what to say. I also don't know how to end texts. I'm always thinking about what the other person is thinking. Texting is so stressful, I try to avoid it.

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
Kevin001 is offline  
post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 11:39 AM
electric
 
a degree of freedom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Denver
Gender: Male
Age: 35
Posts: 6,788
I don't think most people care that much if you take your time in replying. I only check my phone a few times each day so I'm pretty much never going to reply to a text within the first few hours and there's nothing I text I need or expect an immediate response too. The only time I care much is if I have some reason to think they either might not have received the text or don't know how to operate their phone, which is uncommon.

We are the drop, the wave, and the tide.
|ᓴ\___/ᓱ|
╰☆╮╭☆╯
 ⋱/⍚\⋰ 
a degree of freedom is offline  
 
post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 01:43 PM
SAS Member
 
Carlfrukt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Sweden
Gender: Male
Posts: 673
I have this problems too. Sometimes it takes me several days to respond to text messages. Other times so much time has passed since I got a message that it feels awkward to respond to it. It makes me feel so guilty.
Carlfrukt is offline  
post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 03:51 PM
Post Rating: Positive
 
Methodical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Language: English, Spanish
Gender: Male
Posts: 731
You don't have to respond to a text right away. Take some time to think of a response and then send. I try to respond quickly but I get sidetracked doing other things.
Methodical is offline  
post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 04:01 PM
lost&restless
 
pantonals's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Gender: Female
Age: 28
Posts: 64
I have issues replying to text messages too. Most of the time I don't even know what to say and then I feel like the other person thinks I don't care or they get bored and just stop replying.
pantonals is offline  
post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-15-2015, 10:52 PM
SAS Member
 
chompers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: in your mouth
Posts: 588
Lots of people don't respond to texts right away, and most people don't expect an instant response. Don't worry. If people are trying to have a convo with you you could just tell them you don't like texting
chompers is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
She invited me to a party and then stopped responding to my texts... WHY? :(? mattmando2 Relationships 19 11-05-2014 08:26 PM
Responding to people when they aren't talking to you Twelve Keyz Frustration 11 08-03-2013 09:55 PM
I suck at responding to other people's misery / misfortune tooshytosay Frustration 8 07-31-2013 03:21 PM
People initiate with you and then stop responding to you? mysterioussoul Coping With Social Anxiety 8 10-01-2012 03:14 PM
Bad luck and people not responding or beeing too busy Revenger Frustration 1 07-20-2012 02:10 PM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome