Not masturbating/watching porn is totally worth it - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 11:08 AM Thread Starter
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Not masturbating/watching porn is totally worth it


Now I'm not a religious person, so this decision had nothing to do with morals or scripture. I just want to say that (personally) stopping porn use and masturbation two months ago was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. This decision took more restraint than I ever thought I was capable of, and the first 6 weeks after stopping were...well, even "grueling" and "agonizing" wouldn't adequately describe what I went through. It is pure hell, BUT (and this is a big but) if you can muster the discipline it takes to stop watching porn (for this particular instance other erotic material, such as scantily clad women will be included in the definition of porn), your body will basically go "okay, I get it, I can't get my porn fix anymore" and your brain's reward circuitry will began to rewire itself so that you find (in my case) socializing to be much more rewarding, instead of viewing it as a painful process to be endured until solitary asylum can be found. I truly believe that alot of guys don't see what porn does to them because, everybody does it. There is no "control group" for porn users, because pretty much ALL guys watch porn, so of course it would be seen as normal and healthy, because we've never seen what the alternative looks like. Porn addiction is VERY prevalent in western society, and if you don't believe me, I challenge any guy on here to stop looking at any type of erotic material for three weeks and we'll see how many last. Addiction is defined as "the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma."

Now that I think of it, "severe trauma" is the perfect word that described what I felt when I quit porn/masturbation, every symptom of my SA got worse, I could barely sleep because my body beckoned me to give in, but after the two months, it was like a fog had been lifted from my brain, and I found all of the anxiety techniques that I had been trying to implement came so much more natural, I actually stayed happy and cheerful for entire days. I could look someone in the eye and not feel my anxiety fighting against me to look away, it felt good, I began connecting with people like I did before my SA took over at 18. Some may be doubtful of the legitimacy of stopping porn use, but, for me, two months of torture to feel how I do now was well worth the time invested. That is all!

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free."



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post #2 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 11:28 AM
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Same. I stopped and now I have a 6 figure salary, 5 girlfriends, a SAT score of 2200 and can bench press 500 pounds. Get like me.
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post #3 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 11:31 AM
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Same. I stopped and now I have a 6 figure salary, 5 girlfriends, a SAT score of 2200 and can bench press 500 pounds. Get like me.
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post #4 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 11:34 AM Thread Starter
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Same. I stopped and now I have a 6 figure salary, 5 girlfriends, a SAT score of 2200 and can bench press 500 pounds. Get like me.
I'm not saying your gonna turn into Tony Stark after two months, but you definitely see a difference in your sociability and confidence. Alot of guys reject the fact that stopping PMO works because it's hard, extremely hard, so we make excuses to keep doing it. Stopping PMO aids you, but you still have to change the way you think in order to beat SA.

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free."



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post #5 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 11:48 AM
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stopped fapping once for 6 weeks then went another 6 weeks and guess what? didnt do jack crap, i lied to myself trying to adopt values that werent mine. That was like 4 years ago, it was one of the worst state of my life.

Feel much better now and i watch porn regularly, my point is, porn is irrelevant.

I say watch porn as much as you lile, spend an entire day watching porn if you want, as long as you do other stuff and you feel its not affecting you negatively.

Always looking for a better solution, what other choice do I have anyway?
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post #6 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 12:01 PM
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While I agree that too much porn can be bad for you, I still don't see how is occasional masturbation harmful.
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post #7 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 12:08 PM
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Good thread.

Porn is the important part... to get that sort of false intimacy while being alone only takes away your motivation to improve yourself because you've got your perfect girl on your computer screen!

Masturbation is fine, though.
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post #8 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 12:13 PM
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Does this depend on the type of porn you watch?

..and technically you can masturbate without the porn, maybe that's the answer
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post #9 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 12:13 PM Thread Starter
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stopped fapping once for 6 weeks then went another 6 weeks and guess what? didnt do jack crap, i lied to myself trying to adopt values that werent mine. That was like 4 years ago, it was one of the worst state of my life.

Feel much better now and i watch porn regularly, my point is, porn is irrelevant.

I say watch porn as much as you lile, spend an entire day watching porn if you want, as long as you do other stuff and you feel its not affecting you negatively.
I don't claim to be an expert in neuroscience, and some may react to stopping differently than others, but the fact that you called it the worst state of your life means that you were more than likely still dependent on porn, and your brain was not ready to give it up. It's not the porn itself that is neccessarily the problem, it's the fact that we feel that we NEED the porn in order to feel "better". Yeah, once you got your fix you were okay, but your body never actually got over the craving, which is the point in stopping. If things never got better, I would never recommend stopping.

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free."



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post #10 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 12:22 PM
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I simply found that the more I socialized with women, the lesser my desires was to masturbate- but that's really with anything that I do that I find interesting that doesn't keep me home and bored.
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post #11 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 12:24 PM Thread Starter
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Does this depend on the type of porn you watch?

..and technically you can masturbate without the porn, maybe that's the answer
Masturbation itself is not the problem, but if you are masturbating and STILL thinking of erotic images while you do it, then you are not benefiting from stopping porn use, because you still have porn-like images in your head. The point is to get your brain to a point where it feels comfortable being intimate with real people, and you actually want to socialize because your brain is giving you a reward for being social. I remember I used to freak out when a woman touched me, because my brain wasn't used to real intimacy. That starts to go away after you separate yourself from dependance on 'virtual' women.

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free."



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post #12 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 12:48 PM
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Masturbating without thinking of erotic images? Are geometric shapes your new preference or...?

Come on now. Porn and using your imagination are on totally different levels.
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post #13 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 12:52 PM
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post #14 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 01:05 PM Thread Starter
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Masturbating without thinking of erotic images? Are geometric shapes your new preference or...?

Come on now. Porn and using your imagination are on totally different levels.
If your masturbating while thinking about your favorite porn star, then you are not helping your mind break the dependance of porn. Albeit thinking about the porn star and actually watching her are different (the former is less intense), they activate the exact same dopamine receptors in your brain effectively rewarding you for whacking it to a woman that you will never be intimate with, thus keeping you addicted to virtual women. The ultimate goal is to go after the real thing, which is what our primitive brains were designed for. Watching porn floods our brains with dopamine which is why it feels good, only to be followed by the sluggish low you get some time after you finish masturbating.

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free."



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post #15 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 01:10 PM
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You didn't answer my second question.

Masturbating wasn't invented with porn.
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post #16 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 01:13 PM
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Masturbating without thinking of erotic images? Are geometric shapes your new preference or...?
I've got a fractals fetish.
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post #17 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
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You didn't answer my second question.

Masturbating wasn't invented with porn.
Maybe I should have been more specific. Masturbating without porn-like fantasy is fine, it's only when you are thinking about erotic material in a porn like fashion that masturbation w/o porn becomes moot. Like I said, masturbating in this way is basically just substituting porn with pre-viewed images stored in your brain.

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free."



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post #18 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 01:33 PM
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The dating game is ****ing stupid anyway, so I'll pass. Not that I believe this would actually work because it probably won't as people have tried this ans saw no difference in how they acted.
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post #19 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 01:34 PM
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yeah, if you get a kick out of torturing yourself maybe
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post #20 of 162 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 07:19 PM
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Porn didn't cause my social anxiety rather my social anxiety caused my porn use. I've had social anxiety since I was a little kid way before I even started watching porn. I was born with selective mutism or if there was a cause it happened really, really early in my life. So early I can't remember.
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