Originally Posted by travo
Exactly. I remember times in my life I didn't "suffer" so much from having SA. I was still DEFINITELY a very sensitive and retiring person, but I felt 100% comfortable with friends and had no anxiety with them, and even was somewhat a public extrovert with friends. Amazing how much things can change, how self esteem can collapse over a period of not having real friends anymore.
If you lost all these qualities, then doesn't it stand to reason that you can regain them?
I've always been a sensitive person too, and always had difficulties in a lot of situations, and I don't ever expect to be cured of all my sensitivity. I'll always harbour a lot of social fears, regardless of what I do.
But, let's say, you have a social skills scale, 1 to 100. I'll never reach 100 in the sense that I'l be completely relaxed around everyone. I know that. But wouldn't you rather hit, say 65 rather than 40? Put a real effort in and you might get to 75.
I'm reading this thread, but with the majority of opinions here it seems apparent that you've all given up altogether. Why settle for the poorest option?
Ok. There is a lot of truth in what's been said. But quite frankly, the negative bias here is unbelievable. Actually, that's a lie, it's completely believable coming from a group of natural negative thinkers. But let me balance it out a little for you...
It's no small feat and takes a lot of time, energy and courage, but if you can learn to balance your thoughts and behaviours you will naturally begin to think more positively, and essentially you'll begin to achieve that natural flow that you talk of of, without having to think what you're doing. That said, a therapist can't do anything for you, it's all on your own back, which is why it often fails. The attitudes in this thread will contribute to that.
It has been shown through research, that the physical structure of the brain can be changed through time and practice. We may be disadvanteged in this area, but we don't have to settle for the lowest option. We may never have super social schematics, but we can at least get half way there.
It's also true that we learn most of our social skills early on in life, and if we missed out on that, then again we're disadvantaged. But that says nothing of social anxiety. I know people with real speech impedements or little social skills yet they're not socially anxious at all, in fact the opposite.
Of course, you don't want to be concentrating on this stuff all the time. Being introverted we have a tendancy to concentrate on stuff all
the time. That's part of your SA and that needs changed too.
I can't be bothered to say any more...