No one care about me living the job - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-18-2020, 05:07 PM Thread Starter
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No one care about me living the job


I am leaving my current job.
I don't have any friends in this job. I usually don't talk with anyone here.

After I sent an email about my leave, no one says anything to me.
They don't care about me. It's like I'm not existing here.
I feel sad.
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-19-2020, 07:39 PM
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Some companies are like that though they don't care about their employees, I've experienced both sides of it. Hopefully what ever one you work for next will be better, maybe try to converse with the employees a bit more?
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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 02:40 AM
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Yes, that's a bit sad of them @SugarPush , I'm sorry to hear that. I guess, there can be any number of reasons for them acting 'aloof', but at the end of the day it sounds like you leaving that particular job is a good choice. Find somewhere nicer for you, where you'll be happier, yes.

All the best for your next job.
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 04:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Excaliber View Post
Some companies are like that though they don't care about their employees, I've experienced both sides of it. Hopefully what ever one you work for next will be better, maybe try to converse with the employees a bit more?
Yeah, it really depends on the culture of the company/work environment. Where I currently work now, the culture is one of the friendlist place. Peoples birthdays get celebrated, etc, etc. even if you barely talk to the person. As far as the op is concerned, these are my views on friendships at the workplace, I dont prioritize nor seek for them but if I see an opportunity, then of course, but especially at my work, people are going to be friendly because its the culture but you wont get the "real" person per say so its really difficult to find people and this is something I had to learn the hard way but im glad it happened because it was a lesson learned. Basically, I seek my friendships outside the workplace.

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Still thinking of one.
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 06:12 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you, everyone.

At my work, everyone is friendly and chat with each other a lot (except me). I want to talk with them, but I cannot because I am scared of people. I basically don't have friends even outside the workplace.
So, I know it's my fault that they don't care about me.
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 09:09 AM
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Well, they could've at least acknowledged your email in my opinion, because you're still part of the team. Anyway, it's not your fault, friend. Try not to give yourself a hard time. Everyone's different.

I wish I had some good advice on how to make friends but it's not something I really pursue anymore. ((Hugs to you))

A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it. - Dogen
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 01:47 PM
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Relateable


Same thing happened to me with my first internship. Made the worst impression and didn't get the recognition for anything. Day I left... no one responded despite me writing an email to a few.

The experience really gave me a good taste of corporate culture and the nonsense bureaucracy.

Funny enough... I got the opposite response after leaving my most recent job and even though I received responses... I realized they were done out of pity and obviously forced (could tell by the wording). After looking back on it all, I don't think there was a single person there that didn't think something was wrong with me. Every interaction I recall having... I don't think I landed the best impression. I think everyone pretty much considered me a kid or unprofessional.

CYA is the only way to go. In my case... it's not like I blame them for responding the way they did (I probably would too). I didn't really make any lasting or significant connections and didn't foster any growth as far as relationships go. They were my coworkers and that was it. I didn't care to get them interested in me and I didn't signal any interest in them. In the end... we were strangers. Why would a stranger react any differently than they did?

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 01:49 PM
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Originally Posted by SugarPush View Post
At my work, everyone is friendly and chat with each other a lot (except me). I want to talk with them, but I cannot because I am scared of people. I basically don't have friends even outside the workplace.
So, I know it's my fault that they don't care about me.
What type of job are you doing? Big corporation or smaller company?

Try to start making some small talk with one person you would like to be friends with. You work together so you should have something in common. Ask them "what do you like to do when their not working"? That's a good conversation starter that I have used. Not everyone likes talking work but they love talking about their passions or hobbies.

If the first person dosent respond well move on to the next person you want to get to know. And so on. You should find someone who is friendly that way.

If they are all A holes or ignore you start looking for a different job. Some workplaces are just toxic and its not worth your mental health to stay.

Any more questions send me a message
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-23-2020, 06:23 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you for your responses.

I am working in a lab that has about 20 people.
I will try to talk to people at the next workplace. It is challenging for me though.
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-23-2020, 07:01 PM
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@SugarPush A little bit can go a long way, wish you all the best at your next job.
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-23-2020, 07:49 PM
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Hi SugarPush.👋 I hope you don't mind me sharing a few things here with you.

Maybe you already do this, but when I'm in a new situation with people involved (which is almost never now, but I'm going on my past experiences here), giving a nice smile and a 'hi' can send out your friendly vibe quite well, for starters. You don't have to engage into conversations immediately, but you can slowly build from there perhaps. Or if you happen to notice someone was looking at you, again, a smile, a hi, or both, is sending out a warm vibe. It's good. Or if people in your immediate vicinity are having a friendly convo, and you're standing there listening too in a social kind of way, if they look at you from time to time, it kind of means you're included in the vibe. That's when you can add something to the conversation if you like - so have your opinions and views ready.🙂

Those are my little things I notice regarding casual social type situations. But I do understand the social anxiety element in all this as well, friend. It is a challenge, I know, and oftentimes ones mood plays a role in all this as well. But that's the same with everyone for the most part.

A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it. - Dogen
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-24-2020, 05:53 PM
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So sorry to hear about that! There must be someone out there who likes and cares about you. Let it slide off of you and God knows who your friends should be but I understand you need comfort *hugs*

btw, when I was in High school, I very much liked this supply teacher as a person and I would've naturally said a goodbye to him but then my classmate made it seem like I liked him or something so I didn't say anything. I regret
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-25-2020, 06:49 PM
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Thank you for your responses.

I am working in a lab that has about 20 people.
I will try to talk to people at the next workplace. It is challenging for me though.
Did you give it a try? How did trying to talk to people at the next workplace go?
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-28-2020, 05:27 PM
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Yeah that would happen at my job probably. Plus I only work part time so my hours can get easily covered by someone else.
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-29-2020, 11:31 AM
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Thank you, everyone.

At my work, everyone is friendly and chat with each other a lot (except me). I want to talk with them, but I cannot because I am scared of people. I basically don't have friends even outside the workplace.
So, I know it's my fault that they don't care about me.
They seem to be social and you aren't as social. That's ok. Don't beat yourself up over it
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