New driver I need all the advice possible! - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-29-2020, 07:35 AM Thread Starter
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New driver I need all the advice possible!


So I finally got a car yesterday. Its like a whole new world. My anxiety is still there though. The most I've ever driven by myself was to my mailbox for like 6 mins. I'm anxious about getting gas for the first time, using wipers when it rains, checking my tires????, lifting the hood???, etc. I'm just brand new and anxious. Any advice and success stories is welcomed. I will try driving for 30 mins in the neighborhood today but I'm so not ready to be driving to work alone today. Anybody similar?

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post #2 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-29-2020, 12:53 PM
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Just practice all those things without driving. Turn on the wipers , headlight, adjust your mirrors. Drive around your block a few times to get used to it. Practice speeding up and slowing down fast. Then just start driving further away from your home and coming back.
Here is link to adjust your mirrors correctly.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=q-aeu4mFqUo
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post #3 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-29-2020, 02:56 PM
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Around 2008-2009 and newer all cars were required to have tire pressure sensors, so you'll get a dash light if they're low. If it's older just go to Walmart and buy a tire gauge for about $1 and keep it in your car. Bad gas mileage is a sign of low tire pressure, so I reset my trip meter every time I fill up the tank. Then if I notice I'm not getting the miles out of a full tank that's the first thing I check. If one of the front tires is low it'll pull a little to that side too. I don't know if you have Casey's General Stores there, but they have free air at all locations as far as I know.
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post #4 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-29-2020, 03:00 PM
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do something slightly anxiety inducing every day, but not *super* anxiety inducing. Figure out what you could do tomorrow slightly more than you did today, if its 6 minutes, make it 7. Don't do more than one new thing a day (so you will need to get gas, do that quite soon,but don't take on anything more other than that for the day). Keep it minimal but consistently improve daily. Think of it like training in the gym, slightly more daily and you will be comfortable in no time.

Or, in other terms (and this applies to SA, or anything), go out of comfort zone, but never so much you fail. Never fail.

Compassion focused therapy audio, guided meditations:

https://balancedminds.com/audio/
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post #5 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-29-2020, 03:45 PM
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Anxiety made me drive better, use your weakness & make it a strength.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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post #6 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-29-2020, 04:11 PM
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Get to know all your buttons while sitting parked. Headlights, high beams, wipers, emergency lights, radio, how to adjust the heat and air, all that jazz. Take as much time as you need until you're comfortable. Practice in a quiet area when traffic is low, like evenings when everyone's already made it home for the day, or early mornings.

Getting gas is pretty self explanatory. Most pumps have a screen that will walk you through every step. Most newer cars have a button that's inside the car which will open your gas cover. Figure out where that is ahead of time. Swipe your card or pay the cashier, select your fuel grade, remove gas cap, and pump away.

The only thing I ever lift my hood for is checking the oil or giving or receiving a jump (which you shouldn't have to worry about if your battery is in good shape.) Beyond that, I let the pros deal with it.

Get your oil changed per the recommendation in your manual. The recommendation used to be every three thousand miles, but it's my understanding that newer cars using synthetic oils can go quite a bit longer between changes. Make sure you keep an eye on that.

You can do this.
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post #7 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-29-2020, 04:54 PM
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I say it's about being aware of what's going on around and going with the flow.
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post #8 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-29-2020, 10:07 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JH1983 View Post
Around 2008-2009 and newer all cars were required to have tire pressure sensors, so you'll get a dash light if they're low. If it's older just go to Walmart and buy a tire gauge for about $1 and keep it in your car. Bad gas mileage is a sign of low tire pressure, so I reset my trip meter every time I fill up the tank. Then if I notice I'm not getting the miles out of a full tank that's the first thing I check. If one of the front tires is low it'll pull a little to that side too. I don't know if you have Casey's General Stores there, but they have free air at all locations as far as I know.
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Its a 2008 honda accord has 166k miles.

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Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
do something slightly anxiety inducing every day, but not *super* anxiety inducing. Figure out what you could do tomorrow slightly more than you did today, if its 6 minutes, make it 7. Don't do more than one new thing a day (so you will need to get gas, do that quite soon,but don't take on anything more other than that for the day). Keep it minimal but consistently improve daily. Think of it like training in the gym, slightly more daily and you will be comfortable in no time.

Or, in other terms (and this applies to SA, or anything), go out of comfort zone, but never so much you fail. Never fail.
Thanks. Yeah tomorrow I plan on going to walmart, getting gas, and going to church.

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The only thing I ever lift my hood for is checking the oil or giving or receiving a jump (which you shouldn't have to worry about if your battery is in good shape.) Beyond that, I let the pros deal with it.
Haha thanks!

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How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
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post #9 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-29-2020, 10:23 PM
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Its a 2008 honda accord has 166k miles.



Thanks. Yeah tomorrow I plan on going to walmart, getting gas, and going to church.



Haha thanks!
I just Googled it and it was 2008 when it became mandatory, so you'll get a dash light if your tire pressure is low. One less thing to worry about. Still good to keep a tire gauge in the car in case you need to air them up.

I would check the oil occasionally though. Higher mileage engines burn or leak oil sometimes. It's something that can ruin your engine.

Congrats on your car.
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post #10 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-29-2020, 10:43 PM
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dont be afraid to drive like a nana (safely I mean). even if it upsets people. most drivers are crazy. you have to be super careful, people die every day.

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post #11 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-29-2020, 11:07 PM
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Firstly, define what's mostly problematic for you (technical stuff of driving or the traffic rules), then work on improving it. If you drive auto, theres not much to do besides traffic rules. Dont be too anxious on road, dont care about all the jerks around you, drive according to the rules. Dont brake too suddenly, accelerate more if sit requires. Look around you and check mirrors. Dont be afraid of the feeling you get while driving. The thrill of driving was the most intereting part for me (sadly I dont have a car so nowhere to exp it in nearest time). Best wishes!
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post #12 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 01:13 AM
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My dad gave me this piece of advice: if you're approaching a difficult junction/roundabout and you're panicking that you don't how to handle it, just let someone go in front of you and follow that car.

I feel you! I stopped working on my licence during the lockdown and will have to return to it soon. Just the thought fills me with anxiety. It's not even the driving as much as some moron instructor yelling at me (I had one I had to fight all the time). When my parents were ill, they got me to drive to the shop without a licence and I had the most hilariously terrifying experience - getting stuck by an busy road, jammed by cars on both sides, having to do all these maneuvers...also parked like an idiot and hit the pavement once -_-

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post #13 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 01:24 AM
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Start slow and short distances, gradually work your way up slowly. And don't let other drivers in any way shape or form influence your own driving.

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #14 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 02:51 AM
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Driving is pretty easy. The hardest part is getting your license in the first place. If you've done that, any nervousness you have about the act of driving will pass if you just don't rush it.
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post #15 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 03:06 AM
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I've never bothered checking tire pressure unless it visually looks flat. Not great practice, admittedly, but once it starts losing air you're just going to need a new tire no matter what you do.

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Originally Posted by CoolLilChickadee View Post
Getting gas is pretty self explanatory.
Well, it took me a decade of driving to discover that there's a magic latch that allows people to fuel without panting in exhaustion and giving up before it's full because of the constant hand muscle exertion.

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post #16 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 04:15 AM Thread Starter
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I just Googled it and it was 2008 when it became mandatory, so you'll get a dash light if your tire pressure is low. One less thing to worry about. Still good to keep a tire gauge in the car in case you need to air them up.

I would check the oil occasionally though. Higher mileage engines burn or leak oil sometimes. It's something that can ruin your engine.

Congrats on your car.
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Thanks checking oil is something I need to remember and how often.

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I've never bothered checking tire pressure unless it visually looks flat. Not great practice, admittedly, but once it starts losing air you're just going to need a new tire no matter what you do.



Well, it took me a decade of driving to discover that there's a magic latch that allows people to fuel without panting in exhaustion and giving up before it's full because of the constant hand muscle exertion.
I don't think every pump latches depends if I'm not mistaken.

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post #17 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 06:16 AM
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Normal


What you're experiencing is something everyone has likely gone through as a first-time driver. I put off getting a license until I absolutely had to 'cause of school/work.

I'm still not an expert and myself having gotten into an accident just last year, some would argue I'm not allowed to give advice but I'll give what I have.

My two cents is to get as much practice in until it starts to stick. If you have to sit in your car and practice changing between park/drive and turning on the low beams/wipers, then that still counts.

Unfortunately, this is one of those things where you'll be getting the most useful experience from actually being out there in the open. If your car is relatively modern, it should have sensors onboard to tell you about things when they go bad (e.g. tire pressure). While there's always the chance the sensors aren't entirely accurate, if your car is new or your state requires you to get your car inspected, I think you could be reasonably be assured they're working right for most things. Of course, you can always buy a tire pressure gauge and do it yourself (I have to do this a lot more in the winter here where I live).

I don't know if they have something similar to AAA where you live but if you don't, you might want to invest in a spare tire and add that in somewhere if your car is able to host it somewhere.

I don't have the know-how for how to take advantage for everything that may come with a car, but aside from what I've mentioned, I think all that's left is the usual common sense stuff that I think everyone here would follow anyway...

Congrats on your new ride!

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post #18 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 07:38 AM Thread Starter
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^^ Thanks

So I got gas and went to walmart but on the way home the oil light lamp flashed briefly! I will drive it to church soon but I hope that light doesn't come back on. I don't want to spend money on this car so soon!

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
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post #19 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 11:59 AM
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Quote:
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Well, it took me a decade of driving to discover that there's a magic latch that allows people to fuel without panting in exhaustion and giving up before it's full because of the constant hand muscle exertion.

LOL! I actually started trying to explain the little latch that hooks into the little notch that lets it continue pumping without help, but I realized I wasn't describing it very well and I didn't want to overwhelm him.
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post #20 of 66 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 01:17 PM
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The worst part of driving is dealing with other drivers of course. Nothing you can really do about it, but always keep your eyes on the road and be ready to react if somebody does something stupid, because people are idiots. I can't think of anything else really that I get anxious about anymore. You don't have to deal with snowy/icy roads at least.

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