Need help looking for good advice on communication skills... - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-30-2006, 07:51 AM Thread Starter
 
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Need help looking for good advice on communication skills...


Hello

Ive always been a quiet guy around stangers, but now im trying to push the envelope and become more sociable. Ive made some mew friends in the past four months and dunno what to talk about I usually just listen but i know i need to contribute a little bit. My friend is older and always has a funny story from either Opie and Anthony or something he saw on the web. Hes not afraid to show eye contact and explains each story with gestures and is dramatic. Does one hell of a job too.

How can i lean towards telling good stories, become more socialble and hold ppl's interest. Normally around old friends im very goofy and funny and have no worries but now I want to take charge and be the leader instead of always the guy who is invited and tags along.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-30-2006, 10:04 PM
 
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Need more info to really help you out but some general things

Taking an improv class will help with your story telling. You will come up with more stuff on the fly and will be able to do it naturally. One excersize my friends would do is we would name some topic like make up and then you would have to come up with fun story about that topic.
(You could mention about how you were at a party and there was this girl who was passed out and one of her exes got her make up and drew all over her face and she looked like a clown or about how this girl your working with wears waay too much make up and your wondering what shes really hiding under there. )

A job where your constantly exposed to social situations (sales) will help you out and is good practice.

Know in advance what you want to do where you want to take things and just learn about where the cool places are to hang out. That will help with the leading things

Call friends and plan stuff instead of tagging along. Do poker or basketball or football or something. Get a buddy and you to join a martial arts class. Have a tournament in Madden or Nba live. Call someone to workout.

Make it a habit to talk to everyone. I talk to the nerdy guys the cool guys the shy kids the guy who works front counter at Burger King or the guy who folds clothes at Steve and Barrys. Be the sociable person you want to be. Instead of trying to get into a social state make it a part of your reality to be sociable period.

Theres a lot of stuff out there to help with the actual communication part. Stuff like ask open ended questions reward and relate to people talk emotionally not logically and you can probably google that stuff and find some pretty cool things. If you want I can look up some links that have helped me just pm me if you want them.

Ummmm try to talk louder too especially if your quiet. Youve gotten used to tagging along and there are different qualities at tagging along than leading that you will want to adapt. Stuff like being a bit louder than you normally are,controling the conversation, setting up stuff your probably not used to and will have to be if you want to lead.

I know theres more but thats all I can think off right now
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-30-2006, 10:24 PM
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Quote:
Call friends and plan stuff instead of tagging along.
I wish I had friends to plan things with Sigh

just one more song to slay this earth
and i can't explain myself just what it's worth
it was all i had, but not all i'd need
and i can't escape the fact that i still bleed
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 08:59 PM
You can do this!
 
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I really think it's often a matter of practice. Having social skills is like exercising a muscle, you just have to use it and use it and over time it will get stronger. I'll bet you're probably getting better already, where you've been pushing yourself a bit to make friends.

Medication-related posts are for brainstorming purposes only. Talk to your doctor.

My meds: Parnate, Lamictal, Wellbutrin, trazodone
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-01-2006, 01:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Caedmon
I really think it's often a matter of practice. Having social skills is like exercising a muscle, you just have to use it and use it and over time it will get stronger.
This is a great thing to realize, I'm printing it out and putting it in my wallet . It really does feel like lifting weights.
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