Name something weird you do because of SA / avoidance - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-26-2020, 02:38 PM
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At my previous workplaces I would wait until a decent amount of people have left for the day before I leave.
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post #22 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-26-2020, 06:59 PM
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- I talk to myself (out loud) all the time, when nobody's around

- at my parents home, I rarely go outside, if I have something have to do , I always do it quickly as I can then run back to the house.

- I love listening to music, when I'm on my bike I always wear earphones and sing along with the songs, but never let anybody hear it. Sometimes I even bring a speaker JBL extreme with me and turn music on loudly (of course I have to make sure nobody will not notice me).

- as everyone's circumstances above, I usually try to avoid people I know, even my relatives. I also never attend my family's new year reunion.

- I often think of the end of the world, imagine how it would end and how's everything from human being destroyed. I just wonder should I die with everyone or be the only one survived in this world
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post #23 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-27-2020, 03:43 AM
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haha everyone should watch this...not sure why these are "British" problems most of them are SA / awkward people problems. I've done most of these at some point. Like the arduous train route to avoid a work colleague or the worrying about how you come across over email. Classic SA conundrums.
Yeah they are just SA problems, maybe SA is more common in Britain.
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post #24 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-27-2020, 08:07 AM
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haha everyone should watch this...not sure why these are "British" problems most of them are SA / awkward people problems. I've done most of these at some point. Like the arduous train route to avoid a work colleague or the worrying about how you come across over email. Classic SA conundrums.
Some parts of England are very introverted culturally, especially the South. So when it comes to stereotypes it's a bit like the ones about Scandinavia but slightly watered down:




It's not completely accurate though and depends on where you go. It's mostly more a matter of emotional expression I think and privacy. It's interesting to see what foreign people who move here think though:

https://www.quora.com/Are-British-people-cold

https://www.debate.org/opinions/are-...le-cold-or-not


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They definitely are My parents are British but I grew up in several South East Asian countries until I was 18. I moved to the Uk for university, and honestly after 4 years of being here, I have to agree with the stereotype that British people are cold and standoffish. For the first two years, I wondered if people didn't like me very much, cause nobody seemed to want to actually commit to a proper friendship. It turns out that people did actually like me as a person, but their idea of friendship was just very different to mine. Theirs is a lot less emotional, and more limited to watching tv, football, drinking, maybe playing board games etc. Basically anything that removes the need for direct personal conversations! I've also noticed a lot of British people don't tend to be very passionate during discussions - it's almost like they're afraid of showing too much excitement or anger? So I often make people uncomfortable by being too honest or straightforward. This was really difficult to adjust to - I just had to get used to the fact that people were unlikely to show much affection or speak plainly.
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Generally yes. They are islands on an island. I am an Italian woman and have lived in the UK for 13 years now. I know some amazing British people, open minded, kind, curious, helpful, smart, funny. But I also regularly meet a relatively high number of people who are socially un-skillled, don't shake your hand or tell their name when they are introduced, and stand-offish and clearly look like they can't be bothered getting to know me, maybe because I am a foreigner. Some women in particular often feel like aliens to me: indifferent, cold, detached, impersonal, almost bothered I exist. I find this alienating and has put me off trying to make friends with most English women. There is some strange barrier that they put up, either for fear or sense of superiority perhaps. But as mentioned I also know amazing people - and yes, they tend to be the ones who have traveled.
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Controlled behaviour avoiding any vulnerability or connection Visiting England always angers and depresses me. They behave so coldly and rudely that I feel miserable there. I can't understand the robotic monotone intonation of southern England. It's like they're programmed not to show emotion or personality. Is it a cultural fear of showing weakness through vulnerability? I only know that the only friendly people I have met in SE have been foreigners. Sad
lol. This is what I picture people who move/visit here from elsewhere see):


Some people heard my words and thought it meant they knew me
Truth is, I don't exist, I'm just a soundtrack to your movie
Some background figure in a story that's already scripted
And what I feel's just felt for you to hear me ****ing spit it
I jump in many different heads through these words and poems
Always hoping maybe the next leap'll be my leap home

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post #25 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-30-2020, 09:17 AM
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post #26 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-30-2020, 09:28 AM
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Well I generally avoid being with people whenever I can when I am outside. A new "trait" that I gathered these days is paranoia, like a bit severe.
I just can't relax around most people who seem able-bodied (like they could knock me out) and always have to keep an eye on them when they are close-by. It doesn't help that I myself can't fight for crap (terrible motoric skills etc.) so you can imagine it's just a travesty.
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post #27 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-30-2020, 01:48 PM
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This is so similar to me. I hate seeing people I know out and about it just so embarrassing. It makes everything worse aswell bc I blush when I’m embarrassed so I go bright red in the face it’s uncontrollable. I would definitely drive to another area where no ones knows me.
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post #28 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-30-2020, 02:05 PM
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whenever i take the bus i always walk down 4-5 bus stops to find one where no one is standing... its good to walk i guess
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post #29 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-02-2020, 12:40 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
Some parts of England are very introverted culturally, especially the South. So when it comes to stereotypes it's a bit like the ones about Scandinavia but slightly watered down:

It's not completely accurate though and depends on where you go. It's mostly more a matter of emotional expression I think and privacy. It's interesting to see what foreign people who move here think though:

haha love the meme and the youtube video. I live in the Northeastern US which also has a rep for being culturally cold and standoffish (as opposed to say the South or California) but I think it's less an introverted coldness and more a rudeness. People just don't interact with you because they don't give a **** about you. They aren't polite or concerned with not disturbing you at all. I'd love to live somewhere like Sweden or wherever where people are both introverted and polite / respectful.


I've been out haunting the neighborhood
And everybody can see I'm no good
When I'm walking out between parked cars
With my head full of stars
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post #30 of 32 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 02:16 PM
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Exist.

Standing on the stairs
Cold, cold morning
Ghostly image of fear
Mayday, mayday
Gonna leave this region
They'll take me with them
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post #31 of 32 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 02:40 PM
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I walk far instead of taking public transport.
Or the exact opposite yet for the exact same reason.

Or stay in and starve instead of going for groceries.
Or do the former first, and then the latter anyway, which can take five hours or two days.

I am not my rosy self
Left my roses on my shelf
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post #32 of 32 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 05:56 PM
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Also another thing:

My high school had three cafeterias but in the mornings one of them would never be in use. No breakfast meals being prepared and served, no lights turned on, doors closed (but not locked).

Right after I got off the bus I would head to that cafeteria room and leave the lights off. I would then pull out my ereader and read until I had just enough time to walk to my first class.

I would have gone to the library but again, the library was always surprisingly too loud and several groups of students always used the space to socialize before the first bell.

In contrast, the cafeteria was quiet in the mornings. Since the lights were turned off, most people assumed it wasn't a place to enter. I would use the time and space to calm down and mentally prepare for the day.

And then...

Some students realized that this cafeteria would be a great place to hang out. One day a small group of three came in and sat at one of the tables. They didn't pay any attention to me and left after their talk was over. All this time the lights are still off as if we all want to stay hidden. Thinking about it now, a couple could have done some sinister things in there... But back then there weren't as many crazy things happening in schools.

I don't think I was completely ignored though.

One day on my way to my first class after yet another session of reading in the cafeteria, a group of students gathered at the base of the stairwell chanted "weirdo! Weirdo!" Until I made my way up the stairs. People nearby looked around confused, probably thinking "What's going on?" But I knew then they had caught on to my morning routine. I stopped going there after that and just endured the noisy minutes in the library before first bell.

The happy ending to this short story is that I found a couple of acquaintances to chat with before class. Turns out one was in my class, and had shared interests.

John 3:16 (NIV) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
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