My Sister STILL acts like a child!
She's not just a child, She's a freaking BULLY!
It seems that she was bullied so bad that she felt the need to bully, herself! Ever since I was A CHILD this girl would torture me! When I was a kid, I had an intense phobia and she would bring it up EVERY SINGLE TIME I was talking amongst my family and I would cry and shake so badly! It seemed that she got SO MUCH JOY out of seeing me that way and It was honestly very sad. It didn't help that my phobia was a joke to my whole immediate family.
She would do that over and over again, until one day she just matured and stopped, but one thing she hasn't stopped was her use of fear to control me. When I was 14 years old, I discovered that she and my oldest sister were talking very negatively behind my back. I was completely devastated and any time I tried to talk with my oldest sister about it, and even when I was IN TEARS, my oldest sister just tried not to laugh! They were so evil and cruel to me all throughout my adolescence. It wasn't just a normal sibling rivalry, It was straight up bullying!
When I left the room, a vast array of viscous insults, dirty names and untrue assumptions would run amok, but it wasn't the only place they would run. They would replay over and over in my head and so I started to believe that everything that they said was true, that I was worthless, that I was a bad person, that I was ugly, that I was everything they said I was! Not to mention, the social anxiety, bipolar disorder and ptsd that I already had to deal with. I felt SO unsafe at home. They would throw insults at me under their breath, look me up and down, snicker to one another, exchange glances and give me the most unwelcoming glares I had ever seen!
I felt so unsafe that I never wanted to hang around my family and the worst part, Is that I will never get those memories I could have made back! I became depressed because every time I would sit in my room, all I could hear was two family members, who should have inspired me as well as lifted me up and of my own blood, that betrayed me! The sad thing is that my oldest sister and I were close. I had NO INTENTIONS of hurting or being cruel to my sisters, yet they would go out of their way just to make me feel worthless and miserable with every ill intention in mind! In fact, I was incredibly nice to them. I would literally help my sister with her college writing homework and give them things. Then one day, the first day they talked about me, they said that liking me was "the biggest lie" they ever told me and just laughed!
I was the youngest of three sisters and they hated me. For what reason I will never know. One day, I just had enough. I felt so unsafe at home. I couldn't come out of my room and my parents were completely oblivious to what had been going on, So, I attempted suicide. I ended up going to the hospital and I felt SAFER there! Of course I was paranoid that people were talking about me, but to feel safe around complete strangers? That says a lot!
Just today, my sister who REALLY hates me tried to use her intimidation tactics and I was so angry! For one she just shoved her way through to the bathroom. There was plenty of space and all she could do was walk towards me as I was walking away to get me to move out of her path! I was really upset about that! She will fake laugh, smirk and shout insults at me when my headphones are in! I wanted to tell her not to run me off of my path, but In the moment I just wanted to get away and she got her way! Not only that, but she was smiling, looking me up and down and laughing.
My oldest sister no longer lives here and you know what? The middle sister (the one I 'm talking about) calls her stupid, a loser and badmouths her too! She just sits there and acts like she's better than her, when I know she's just jealous! That's all she's ever been! During the time, I was back stabbed by her and her sister ( I don't consider them my sisters. You can find friends better than them!), I lost a lot of weight, got on the 2013-2014 honor roll and was pretty much succeeding in life. What does she do? She acts up EVEN MORE! She would project her insecurities onto me. Feel fat? Just call your little sister fat! Feel stupid? Point out all your sister's FLAWS!!! LOL! She would also openly insult me in front of the family at dinner! Whenever my sisters seen that they successfully got to me, they would high five each other or shout yes in the lowest voices possible or even just exchange glances while trying to avoid laughing out loud.
I was always the bad person. They would try to make me look bad or even feel bad. This one time, they tried to convince my mother that I was dressing in a bad way to get the attention of my dad! LIKE, WHAT THE FREAK! EW! They basically tried to get my mother on their hate train and she wasn't stupid enough to follow along. (She is the best mom ever! she's always there for me!) Along with that they would make fun of my manic episodes or even just me crying.
I hate my sisters and I won't make any efforts to let them back into my life. The next time the sister that hated me starts picking on me, I know it's because I'm doing something right! I can tell she's jealous because all she can do is be hateful and express it by insulting or laughing at me at the time.
People of this Social Anxiety Support Forum Community,
Thank you for listening.
Any advice is appreciated.
I care about you all.