My mind is blank - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 05:27 PM Thread Starter
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My mind is blank


My mind is blank during conversations.
I don't know what to say. I cannot say anything.
I just shut down.
I am taking therapy but I even cannot talk to my therapist.

What's wrong with me?
Is there anyone same as me?
Please give me advice.
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 05:37 PM
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Your normal. At least here your normal.
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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 05:28 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you, Rebootplease.
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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 04:30 AM
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This happens to me sometimes as well, I literally freeze and nothing comes out of my mouth for a few seconds then I feel so ashamed and it causes me saying something gibberish. I think talking to myself, telling stories out loud when I'm alone helps. I choose a topic and I talk about it like there is someone next to me. And maybe reading may also help. Just don't push yourself, don't think there is something wrong with you. It is okay.
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 06:43 AM
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My mind tends to always be blank unless what someone is talking to me about is something I actually care about. My mind pretty much looks for a way to get away from people who make me uncomfortable. And a lot of people do that whether they realize it or not. I think it's probably just more the way people are now. They think aggressive communication is normal and expected and so they basically assault you with communication whenever they see you and don't even realize they're bothering you.

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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 07:50 AM
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I have the same issue my mind goes blank. It happens when we get nervous in social situations. It has helped me to come up with a specific thing to say in all situations. I guess kind of like a good conversation opener that you can memorize and wont get to nervous to forget. Simply saying your name and " Hi. How are you" works well. Then just continue the conversationa nd ask questions based on what they say. Hope that helps
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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 05:36 PM
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Originally Posted by chrisinmd View Post
I have the same issue my mind goes blank. It happens when we get nervous in social situations. It has helped me to come up with a specific thing to say in all situations. I guess kind of like a good conversation opener that you can memorize and wont get to nervous to forget. Simply saying your name and " Hi. How are you" works well. Then just continue the conversationa nd ask questions based on what they say. Hope that helps
chrisinmd, that is really good advice. sometimes even a topic unrelated to what they say pops up too!
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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 06:10 PM
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After the obligatory handshake and smile, I usually take in the environment and comment on what I see because I don't really like to get personal in the beginning.
I'm not easy to talk too though because there's a lot of uneasy silences even with people who can't stop talking when I see them interacting with others.
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-12-2019, 07:15 PM
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Same


This just happened to me today.

I was able to keep it going for like 3 more seconds than usual but then nada. I simply couldn't pick it up or go on.

My strategy usually fails 'cause I don't utilize different tactics. I'm not really a funny person in that I can make people laugh... it's more that I laugh at my own incompetence... which ruins the mood.

I've noticed that people tend to keep the mood/morale up when they can be witty/humorous with each other but I'm no good at that. I don't like acting over-familiar with people.

I'm expected to do that though... since today people consider my role as service-based...

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-12-2019, 11:55 PM
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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-13-2019, 12:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SugarPush View Post
My mind is blank during conversations.
I don't know what to say. I cannot say anything.
I just shut down.
I am taking therapy but I even cannot talk to my therapist.

What's wrong with me?
Is there anyone same as me?
Please give me advice.
Anxiety does that, it is a primal reaction that produces a response that is not concerned with speech or presentation, but rather survival. It is like holding your hand over a fire, you are not likely to articulate the feeling while holding your hand over a flame, describing every last detail with incredible accuracy, you are more likely to pull your hand away without very much thought involved. This is a pretty normal response for any animal, when fear takes the reigns. It also sucks, a lot, and I've been there plenty of times. What is wrong with both of us, in fact a lot of people here, is that we get anxious over things that we probably shouldn't feel anxious about. My only advice would be, to keep going to your therapist, until such anxiety is not impacting you, it could be the next visit, it could be weeks or even months from now, but keep with it, and once you can open up to them, they are more likely to be able to help you than anyone else.

Best of luck SugarPush, I hope you do well with your therapist in the future.

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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-13-2019, 12:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SugarPush View Post
My mind is blank during conversations.
I don't know what to say. I cannot say anything.
I just shut down.
I am taking therapy but I even cannot talk to my therapist.

What's wrong with me?
Is there anyone same as me?
Please give me advice.
Hey, adding to what Zonebox said, once you are able to start up a conversation, you will still experience this right in the middle of talking. Especially when they ask you to repeat something, tell a story or any kind of performance. In those cases most people just smile and say, hmm I forgot what I was going to say. But for someone with social anxiety, they think everyone is now watching them intently, wondering whats wrong with this weird guy or girl, and the anxiety grows exponentially. So you need to prepare for it before it happens. If you can get it deep in your memory that when this happens I going to do something, or say something to pull me out of the blank space I'm in, that will really help. Heres a couple things you can choose from and I'm sure you can come with some better ones you like.

You can cough or clear your throat and say excuse me. That will usually break up the mental fog. You can just smile and say, sorry I forgot what I was going to say. And because this happens to everyone all the time, they will empathize with you. And if it happens again, do it again. They don't know whats up with your throat, as its common to have something in your throat. Maybe you have a migraine and need a second. Same goes for like shaking hands, you can say your blood sugar must be low. And also remember to breathe.

Learning social skills is very important for communication. Interestingly enough, one of the first things you learn is the best communicators are the ones that do the least amount of talking. Instead they are very good at listening and making the other person feel like they have been heard. The book winning friends and influencing people is a must read.

Ultimately though, you shouldn't care what people think. If they think you're being weird, that doesn't mean its true. That is the main thing to work on, but those are some things you can do in the meantime.
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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-13-2019, 12:49 PM
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The simplest things I struggle with,I really feel awkward just passing or crossing people/person on the same road..I start running questions in my head..What’s too much eye contact? Should I look down?Should I say hello or nod?What if my voice cracks cause my nervous already ? The funny thing sometimes both genders think am flirting or blushing which would be far from the truth...

I really have bad days I feel like am alone but it was once worse. I think am making progress and finding my smile back.

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Best Anxiety Program
The link is audios,videos and by that Irish guy Barry McDonagh(one of my favorite Social Anxiety authors ). Sharing is caring. Check it out and tell me what you think about his techniques. Best Anxiety Program
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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 12:16 AM

 
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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 08:19 PM
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having a conversation is like talking about anything.. be-your-true-self. I don't want to give advice on the people I like talking to bc then others can fake it. You shouldn't fake it. r there any other problems you have after I said this?

in my opinion, you're just there w/ a friend and enjoying yourself so just don't think too much and say whatever is on your mind, perhaps I just don't understand what it's like to be blank-minded so much, some silences are okay when you're just enjoying a scenery or you just don't want to talk for a little while. You don't always have to be talking every second. Hope that helps.
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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 08:50 PM
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question: is your mind really blank while you're w/ someone? You don't have any interests or anything to talk about things that fill your mind? Ok I'll give it away and help you a little, for example, if you see something nice, don't you want to say sth like 'Hey that looks nice.'? There are more examples but I'm careful w/ what I say.
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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-16-2019, 01:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lily View Post
question: is your mind really blank while you're w/ someone? You don't have any interests or anything to talk about things that fill your mind? Ok I'll give it away and help you a little, for example, if you see something nice, don't you want to say sth like 'Hey that looks nice.'? There are more examples but I'm careful w/ what I say.
Plenty of pple actually go blank. When stress levels are high, you're unable to access your cognitive functioning/think and your mind literally goes blank. When you're able to bring your stress back down to maneageable levels normal thoughts and convo return but it's very common to have that deer in headlights, frozen, blank mind experience (depending on how much of a threat you're currently perceiving others/how much pressure you feel.)

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Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-16-2019, 02:05 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by lily View Post
question: is your mind really blank while you're w/ someone? You don't have any interests or anything to talk about things that fill your mind? Ok I'll give it away and help you a little, for example, if you see something nice, don't you want to say sth like 'Hey that looks nice.'? There are more examples but I'm careful w/ what I say.
My mind actually goes blank.
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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-16-2019, 07:13 PM
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My mind actually goes blank.
I'm so sorry to hear that, did my post help you? I go blank at times too, but it's not bc of anxiety that I can't converse, it's bc I cannot relate enough to have sth to talk about, but I don't think it happens usually. usually there are things to talk about.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SparklingWater View Post
Plenty of pple actually go blank. When stress levels are high, you're unable to access your cognitive functioning/think and your mind literally goes blank. When you're able to bring your stress back down to maneageable levels normal thoughts and convo return but it's very common to have that deer in headlights, frozen, blank mind experience (depending on how much of a threat you're currently perceiving others/how much pressure you feel.)
I think you're right SparklingWater
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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-20-2019, 05:19 PM
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Ditto


The same happens to me.

I just blank out and don't know how to follow up after something's been said. Do I keep it going. For how long? Do I change the subject? How? A joke? What kind? In what way?

I just don't get small talk and it's why I often can't connect with people or give others a bad impression of myself.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
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