More inviting body language - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-05-2019, 07:33 PM Thread Starter
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More inviting body language


I noticed I'm not the most inviting even though I like people. I think my SA is coming back a little after being gone. I'm trying to adopt better habits like good eye contact, facing the person I'm talking to fully, not looking in a rush all the time, and asking questions. But I could do better of course. Any good tips for how to look more approachable?
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 11:20 AM
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I would love any advice on this aswell 😊 I keep getting told I give people filthy looks 🙈🙈🙈
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 11:34 AM
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1. Smile, a lot. Practice in mirror if its uncomfortable. Smile smile smile.
2. Open body language, you have to force it because when nervous you will close off, things like palms not backwards (very sightly forward), not crossing legs or arms, having a relaxed and tall posture, shoulders back and not slumped.

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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 12:11 PM
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Yeah practice in the mirror with the facial expressions. Get someone else's opinion on how you're perceived. Also try folding your arms behind your back when talking to others. It kinda like "Sheathing the swords" and makes you seem less hostile I would guesstimate. That may help counterbalance the "dirty face" impression.

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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 12:46 PM
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When it comes to eye contact, I sort of keep it, move to their forehead or hair and move back to the eyes. Sounds weird but it doesn't leave you gazing into someone and they don't really notice.

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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 12:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shy extrovert View Post
I noticed I'm not the most inviting even though I like people. I think my SA is coming back a little after being gone. I'm trying to adopt better habits like good eye contact, facing the person I'm talking to fully, not looking in a rush all the time, and asking questions. But I could do better of course. Any good tips for how to look more approachable?
Smile, maintain eye contact and work on your facial expressions.

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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 04:21 PM
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Find videos of people whose body language you'd like to imitate. Then if you have a smartphone or a video camera, record yourself imitating that person's body language and figure out what you need to work on.
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 05:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
1. Smile, a lot. Practice in mirror if its uncomfortable. Smile smile smile.
2. Open body language, you have to force it because when nervous you will close off, things like palms not backwards (very sightly forward), not crossing legs or arms, having a relaxed and tall posture, shoulders back and not slumped.
so basically the opposite of everything I do

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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 07:31 PM
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Any tips for having a "evil killer smile"?

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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 08:57 PM
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Just yesterday I was watching a youtube video that suggested holding eye contact for about 3 seconds.
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 01:54 AM
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so basically the opposite of everything I do
Yeh, lol, probably hah. Another way of doing it is paying attention to your automatic body language when you are anxious, and forcibly do the opposite. It feels incredibly uncomfortable because its instinctive anxiety reactions, but its how you force looking friendly.

I literally used to walk around with my brows furrowed, all the time. I still have to forcibly stop myself doing this because I did it so many years.

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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 02:32 AM
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Most of my behavior is designed to appease people or put them at ease so they don't feel threatened because I'm a tall, ugly weirdo and dress like a bum (none of which I can do anything about). I basically have a "don't mind me, just passing through, nothing to worry about here, don't call security" approach to things. Smiles, hellos, how are yous, thank yous, humor if I can manage anything. All stuff I learned in retail. I keep interactions short and sweet. I don't tend to do more than glance at people's eyes because it makes some people uncomfortable, but my goal isn't to get people talking either, since they generally can't make any sense of me anyway. Not that any of that is probably helpful to you.

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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 07:02 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShotInTheDark View Post
Any tips for having a "evil killer smile"?
I think I have something like this, I've been told I smirk a lot, and all this time I thought I was doing a small little friendly smile
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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 07:04 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by EitherThatOrTrees View Post
Yeah practice in the mirror with the facial expressions. Get someone else's opinion on how you're perceived. Also try folding your arms behind your back when talking to others. It kinda like "Sheathing the swords" and makes you seem less hostile I would guesstimate. That may help counterbalance the "dirty face" impression.
That's a good idea, I think my facial expressions will be more animated depending on who I'm with. I have whatever is on my mind written all over my face usually, i could really practice on forcing certain expressions
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