Mental block on certain phases, meanings ect. - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 04-18-2018, 10:23 AM Thread Starter
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Mental block on certain phases, meanings ect.


Might sound a bit weird, but i was wondering if anyone had any advice on what i can only think of a "Mental block" for certain situations, some of the phases, words ect. whenever i confront them i get this block, which makes me angry & feel like lashing out, yet unhappy and frustrated, if anyone can think of why i get a block on these phases ect. i would be grateful:

How to put yourself first
Being hard on yourself
How to have a sense of humor
How to make people laugh
How to flirt
How to get self confidence
Being the convenient friend
Being second best
How to stop negative thinking
How to impact peoples lives
How to be an alpha
How to stop feeling awkward in talking

It's just general things like this, i understand what all of these means but i don't "understand" or "Process" them. As you can imagine this is generally some things i want in life, like being funny ect. but no matter how much i read up on it, how much i try to change myself, for some reason i'm making no progress, what is this mental block in my mind when it comes to this stuff & how can i change it so i can be "unblocked" & move forward? It's really weird, i feel awful because of this wall in front of me, i feel as if i broke through it, i can be all the things i want to be in life. I have been trying for months to better myself but nothing has changed with me, no matter how much i read up on this and even apply some of the stuff i've learnt, nothing changes and i want to be more then i am now.

Thanks in advance!
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 04-18-2018, 02:35 PM
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I can't tell you how to think, but, I can offer advice for how I deal with these situations.

How to put yourself first: Set boundaries. Self-explanatory.
Being hard on yourself: Accept that you will make mistakes, some that you wish that you never made, some that you were not sure if ever happen. Either way, don't be stuck in the past.
How to have a sense of humor: Can't tell you how to think.
How to make people laugh: Can't tell you how to think but don't force it.
How to flirt: Let things come naturally to you, but, pay attention to body-language, or, if the other person shows signs of interests (laughs, or, smiles, etc).
Being the convenient friend: I would recommend against this. I like settings that are more intimate. I don't like being with people simply because I'm convenient for them. But, just be easy-going, and, yourself as much as possible. I know that's terrible advice, but, don't try to be something that you're not. If you don't like who you are, change it, but for yourself, not for other people.
Being second best: There's nothing wrong with this unless you want to use it as motivation for getting better.
How to stop negative thinking: Not asking yourself all these questions all the time would probably be a good start into making you feel better and focusing on your hobbies. Look up intrusive thoughts and how to deal with them.
How to impact peoples lives: Why would it matter whether you impact people's lives or not? If you do, great, people listen. Just make sure that the other person RESPECTS you. That's what is important.
How to be an alpha: The least important thing on this list.
How to stop feeling awkward in talking: Never got over this, but, it gets better the more times you do it.

Don't let it be a wall!! Think of it like an obstacle course and you're going from one place to the next and life throws all these social obstacles in your way. You won't know what will come at any moment. So, just be prepared, don't always expect the worst, but, prepare for the worst, and hope for the best and hopefully something in-between will happen.
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