#medical residency #social anxiety #depression #suicide

Hello everyone

I am now 32 years old guy suffering from social anxiety. I graduated medical school at age 26 and till this age, I am suffering to start my residency because of social anxiety
I am 32. I am unemployed. I am single. never been in a relationship. Not a virgin, slept few times with hookers last 2 years as I can't get a relationship.
I went into residency for 2 years and dropped out after 2 years
I didn't imagine that my life will end up this way. I thought I could be a doctor. I thought I will have at least a normal career but social anxiety and avoidance kept pushing me backward and negatively affecting my life and decisions.
I thought about studying computer science now and leaving medicine and started self-learning but depression is keeping me down from learning (I don't have the ambition and life hope I had when I was young).
I tried to get into radiology but it is very competitive to get into.
Needless to say, my colleagues now have families, have successful lives and careers.
I have suicidal thoughts all the time because of I feel fully stuck in this circle of anxiety and depression.

I don't know how can I get off this vicious circle

hi my heart goes out to u man . all i can say is hold on no matter how tough it may seem .I am a final year medical student ,and i suffered from severe social anxiety in high school and my first few years in university . For me I got alot better with cbt . I started cbt in my first year of university . it practically saved my life. but it took alot of time to be where i am today . I as well have never been in a relationship . I was even diagnosed in my first year of uni with ulcerative colitis which made things even worse . however , I always tried diferent things to combat social anxiety but i didnt try antianxielytics . I tried stuff that werent drugs cause u needed a doctors prescription for drugs but my social anxiety was very bad that i couldnt get myself to see a psychiatrist . even the cbt that i did was online recordings so i didnt have to go and see a psychologist

have u tried medications that help with anxiety like beta blockers etc.?or antidepressants ? . my advice is dont give up and have hope that u will find something to help treat your social anxiety so u can acheive your goals and cope with life . every little thing might help . try different things until u find the solution .

Thank you. I have tried antidepressants didn't work just gained a lot of weight. Beta blockers help a little with presentation or oral exam. But work is different. Work is not easy and you are always subjected to judgement and critisim and residency is very hard for someone with social anxiety not matter the specialty. I tried to get completely out of my comfort Zone and take internal medicine and didn't work out. I don't know What specialty you are planning to apply for but radiology, pathology, radiation oncology seems good. I can't apply for those as I am an IMG applying in UK and these specialities are hard to get into for IMG

Have u ever done cbt ? I did the overcoming social anxiety step by step series by dr. thomas richards , that was pretty much what actually helped me . at this point what do u have to lose try it out . I heard that the Uk is very stressful in terms of working as a junior doctor there . I actually did recently an elective in manchester ( mri hospital) in the easter( something when i had severe social anxiety wouldnt have even thaught about) , and i saw how hectic and busy the hospital is there . I study in malta but im from kuwait . Here in malta and even in kuwait its much more relaxed .

Just dont give up man , u have accomplished alot u should give yourself credit . alot of People in your situation couldnt have even go into medschool let alone complete it . social anxiety is a disorder that needs treatment dont let it take over . If someone has a physical illness the first thing a person would do before anything is get treatment not any but the right one ( unfortunately social anxiety is a bit difficut to find the right treatment but it is possible ) , we need to treat this disorder the same . U can beat it man . Im really hoping u get through this and it becomes something of the past. Good luck Doc. :-)

@mido87
Welcome here.
When I was in the "loony bin" I made a friend. A cardiologist who couldn't continue after his PhD because of stress. We've been friends for ten years now and he has been able to switch his career to computer programming in recent years. The way he went about it is to invest in it as some sort of a hobby. Eventually he got to the level where he felt confident enough to apply for a job in this field and he got hired. He's much more at ease in this environment then in the medical environment. It might be that the medical environment doesn't suit you well either. With your intelligence, there should be a way to make some sort of shift. The combination of someone with a medical background and programming skills is rare and highly valuable. Perhaps you just haven't found your niche yet. The equation drastically changes with a sense of purpose and direction. Anxiety, depression, self-esteem, all of it.

You need to find a way to get out of this negative thought loop you're in. Chances are that isn't going to happen being confined to the apparatus generating it to begin with. Other minds are needed to break in. How much time do you spend talking to other people? Being pulled out of your own vibe does something to the bandwith you're thoughts are confined to. It isn't possible to think straight within an extremely narrow bandwith. Anxiety and depression are not impossible obstacles for reaching out. And that is what I think needs to happen to lower the voice of your inner critic, so you can experience things outside of it for a bit. Hugs from Holland!

I studied computer science and my dad went to medical school. Anyway, I think you should stick with the medical route. I think doing computer science is going to bring you even deeper into your head. It is not a very social job, so it will probably make your anxiety worse over time.


In terms of improving. You obviously first need to examine the cause of the social anxiety. Some people have had it since birth (like me) and I don't really have any advice to offer for those people. However, if your SA was caused by something, you should examine more about what it is. If it began around a certain time, then examine that time and try to find the cause. Likely there will be a few factors combined that caused it. Once you know what the cause is, then you can address that specifically. Without knowing and saying this, all you're going to get is going to be blanket help and responses.