Lying to get my therapist to like me? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-13-2020, 08:07 PM Thread Starter
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Lying to get my therapist to like me?


I can't handle having a therapist because I lie to them in order to get them to like me... which defeats the whole purpose since I'm trying to face the fact that not everyone is always going to like me. I'm so good at lying, I've convinced myself of many things. It's actually turned my life into sleepwalking since everything is distorted and I can't really tell what's real or what's fake anymore. I lie so naturally, I don't know I do it half the time... which is all the time. I was honest with a therapist once. Told him more than I've ever told anyone. He was like judge, jury and executioner so I naturally took on the role of a lawyer and made sure to present all the facts in my favor. Yes, I lied again but I looked really good while doing it.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-14-2020, 12:39 AM
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Omg! I used to do this with my old therapist. I'm not seeing them anymore but I always saw them as more of a friend than a therapist. After them, I got a much older therapist who felt less like a friend and more like a parental figure so that worked out well. But still, it didn't do me any good to lie to my therapist. The important thing to remember is that your therapist isn't supposed to like you, they're not your friend. In fact the only way a therapist can be truly effective is if there's no friendship involved. You don't learn about them and you don't care what they think about you, ever. This is so you don't get attached, so they don't get attached. They're able to do their job because they keep their emotions separate from it. And if you ever think that they see you as more than just a job, you're only gonna hurt yourself. So don't lie to yourself in that way. You never suggested that you saw your therapist as a friend so I don't know why I... phrased all of this as if you needed this advice. I needed this advice, when I was seeing that therapist which I lied to. I wish I'd known that back then. Maybe I could've gotten better sooner. Maybe I'd be better than I am now. @DeeAyJay

somebody cares about you.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-14-2020, 08:40 PM
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Hi @DeeAyJay .

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeeAyJay View Post
...I'm trying to face the fact that not everyone is always going to like me.
Yes, I can understand how that is something difficult to accept. I can tell by the posts I've read of yours so far though, that you're actually a likable person. But for me, knowing I'm not going to be liked by everyone can be worked around through the power of reason. I tell myself, for example, that if it's okay for me not to like certain people (and there's a lot of them, believe me) then I have to accept the fact that it's okay for people not to like me too. It's just working on accepting the way things are. But how lying itself might effect the way you see yourself, might hurt you in the long run. So, that's my two cents worth.

Are you going okay today DeeAyJay? I think I joined on the same day as you.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 03:15 PM
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I think i lie to my therapist too.


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