Today I just found this website by accident while searching for chat rooms and forums. I've never used chat rooms or posted on forums before, but today I felt compelled to look up some way to communicate with other people. The reason being my frustration with my life, I just think my life sucks and I'm hoping to make it better by talking to other people. The reason I think my life sucks is because I'm 24 and I've never had any friends, a girlfriend, and social life before. I follow the same routine everyday: go to school and come home; in my free time I just exercise, watch tv, use the internet, or daydream. I never really go anywhere; even on the weekends, holidays, breaks and summer I stay home. It's not like I like staying home all the time, I just don't know where to go and what to do. I always thought that you only go out if you have friends, because it's pretty weird to go watch a movie by yourself or hang out at the mall by yourself unless you just want time alone. I looked up the definition for loner and it said "a person who is or prefers to be alone, esp. one who avoids the company of others". I don't think this describes me, I mean I don't prefer to be alone at all and I'd very much like to be in the company of others, but I'm just awkward around other people and never seem to fit in with anybody. In high school and college I talked to people but I didn't know how to make friends, so I was a loner for my entire high school years and as well as my college. My problem is that I don't know how to make friends and who to make friends with.
I'm taking kind of long writing this, because I'm not really sure what to say and how to describe my situation. I'm just writing whatever comes to my mind and trying to describe things accurately. I'm just trying to see if there's anyone out there who's like me and can relate, also anybody who's not like me but would like to help. That's it for now, I'm not very good at writing, I think I could communicate better if I chatted with people (is there a chat room here?). Bye Bye
I'm in the same situation as you are. I'm 19. Even I go to school everyday. Do absolutely nothing on the weekends, breaks or the summer. I people I know at school are just acquaintances. Although I've known them well, I never hang out with them. It's not their fault that no one invites me or anything for any occasion or any other activity. I know this has to do with my suckish social skills. Like you, even I don't want to be this way.
It was only after I checked my classmates' facebook profiles that I realised that people have so much fun in college. Forget girlfriend, I don't even have REAL friends. The closest thing I have to "friends" is the people I mentioned above (the people I meet at school). I can't even call them as analogous to colleagues. I have a relation with them as the relation you would have with your teacher or your boss (friendly, but VERY VERY formal).
When I look back at my life, I can't fail to notice why this happened. I grew up in an environment that led to this situation. It's like cancer or a heart stroke. You realise what went wrong only after it happens. I never realised in my childhood that I was falling prey to such a big problem. There is no way I see a cure to my problem. I'll be a university graduate in two years. I have my career to worry about. I cannot just give up everything and focus my attention on becoming social. I don't think it's impossible for me to change my situation, I just think that it's impractical to do so.
Till now, I have been venting my frustration on the people around me. I recently got tired of that recently as some people I tried to talk to didn't care and the ones that did care (my mom) doesn't understand me. So I just built a wall around myself. I know that no one who's reading this going to care either. But I'm relieved to let it out. So here it is.