I can't say that my whole life is "Loner, no friends, no social life" kind of life; that was until I graduated from college, started working and had issues with my family.
In high school, I used to be a part of a group of friends. I was not the leader, nor the support, but I was a member. I thought that was enough. I thought we will be together forever. I was not taught by my parents that things come and go, I lived a life just moving on and surviving.
In college, I never had a hard time with approaching anybody and try to start a conversation. Although my last two years showed another side of me that I think became the cause of me and my friends' disbandment. I became temperamental, I fault find all the time and my mouth never had a filter. I say what I want to say, mistaking being harshly blunt to being honest. This kind of attitude poured down to my first two jobs after graduation. I ended up resigning from both jobs because of colleague arguments. Such attitude also stressed my parents, and they do not know what to do with me. Until I decided to run away from home.
Today, I realized more than ever that I am "A Loner, no friends, no social life". Whatever "friendships" I have thought I have cultivated back when I was young were nothing. Those were just relationships in that period. What makes it difficult is that my personality now really will not make me win friends. I am not the type to say "Hi, what's up!"; "Wanna hang out?". I don't ask about people's lives. I think I am worse than before, and living alone (since I ranaway from home) makes it harder. I am not interested that much to go out now; I want to watch a movie but eventually lose the mood to do so; The moment I decide to go out and distract myself with the things outside, I just end up having a long bus ride wasting my time in a moving vehicle while tinkering my phone.
While I enjoy my time and space on my own, sometimes, I am seeking someone; someone to teach me things, to bring me to places, to accept me as I am and to have the patience to tolerate this quiet, loner personality of mine.
Sorry if my posts sound too selfish. I feel like I talk about myself a lot. I relate to the topic of each thread, and I cannot help myself but voice out my similar situation. :'(