Loner, no friends, no social life - Page 24 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #461 of 467 (permalink) Old 07-08-2017, 06:40 PM
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life is too exhausting
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post #462 of 467 (permalink) Old 07-08-2017, 06:43 PM
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Originally Posted by arkansastraveler View Post
I'm starting to try to think of friendship as something that you do for others. Like a gift. Rather than trying to 'have friends' and 'have a social life.' Just trying to think about what can I do to help each person feel good. Trying to try to be the best friend I can to everyone, and considering myself their friend because of that, whether or not we talk a lot or hang out. I have a lot of hope that if I can succeed at this, good friendships will come into my life. Karma and whatnot.
Wow that was really inspirational. You're right. Having friends or making connections with people require you to invest in people. We want company, but are we really giving others what they want, instead of a "me" mentality. That's why I have no friends. Too much work.

life is too exhausting
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post #463 of 467 (permalink) Old 07-08-2017, 06:48 PM
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I miss having someone I can talk to
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post #464 of 467 (permalink) Old 11-20-2017, 10:28 AM
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I understand, but i used to be better with people. So I was not like this forever. Over the year or two, It just got so much worse. I understand the frustration of wanting to make friends, but just dont know how. I know the awkwardness, and the silence of the space, but the loudness in ur mind. I come to understand that to make friends, you need to be open, and you shouldnt have thoughts about how to act and what to say. It should come natural. I too, want to be free from my mind, but it can feel like the hardest thing in the world. I am still in this hole. Biking really helped me feel free, and biking in nature especially helped with my anxiety. I biked alone so often, that I had more fun being alone, than with people. Now comes winter. I cant bike anymore, and I recently quit my job, both because of the cold weather because I would bike to work everyday. Note that Im still a teenager. Now I just go to school, and come back home. I am currently overwhelmed with where I will be in a year. It is my last year in high school and I feel lost, for i dont know where I want to go to school, or how to get a car. I cant stay home. My life at home makes me feel crazy. I am not allowed to do so many things, and I feel so trapped here. I just ache to be somewhere warm, and new. But i get paranoid a lot, and I know I will get homesick. I want to ask people about their first times living on their own? Also Im new at this forum thing as well, and Not sure if this is a appropriate reply because i talked about myself a lot
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post #465 of 467 (permalink) Old 11-20-2017, 11:40 PM
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I can't say that my whole life is "Loner, no friends, no social life" kind of life; that was until I graduated from college, started working and had issues with my family.

In high school, I used to be a part of a group of friends. I was not the leader, nor the support, but I was a member. I thought that was enough. I thought we will be together forever. I was not taught by my parents that things come and go, I lived a life just moving on and surviving.

In college, I never had a hard time with approaching anybody and try to start a conversation. Although my last two years showed another side of me that I think became the cause of me and my friends' disbandment. I became temperamental, I fault find all the time and my mouth never had a filter. I say what I want to say, mistaking being harshly blunt to being honest. This kind of attitude poured down to my first two jobs after graduation. I ended up resigning from both jobs because of colleague arguments. Such attitude also stressed my parents, and they do not know what to do with me. Until I decided to run away from home.

Today, I realized more than ever that I am "A Loner, no friends, no social life". Whatever "friendships" I have thought I have cultivated back when I was young were nothing. Those were just relationships in that period. What makes it difficult is that my personality now really will not make me win friends. I am not the type to say "Hi, what's up!"; "Wanna hang out?". I don't ask about people's lives. I think I am worse than before, and living alone (since I ranaway from home) makes it harder. I am not interested that much to go out now; I want to watch a movie but eventually lose the mood to do so; The moment I decide to go out and distract myself with the things outside, I just end up having a long bus ride wasting my time in a moving vehicle while tinkering my phone.

While I enjoy my time and space on my own, sometimes, I am seeking someone; someone to teach me things, to bring me to places, to accept me as I am and to have the patience to tolerate this quiet, loner personality of mine.

Sorry if my posts sound too selfish. I feel like I talk about myself a lot. I relate to the topic of each thread, and I cannot help myself but voice out my similar situation. :'(
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post #466 of 467 (permalink) Old 12-06-2017, 08:41 AM
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I can't say that my whole life is "Loner, no friends, no social life" kind of life; that was until I graduated from college, started working and had issues with my family.

In high school, I used to be a part of a group of friends. I was not the leader, nor the support, but I was a member. I thought that was enough. I thought we will be together forever. I was not taught by my parents that things come and go, I lived a life just moving on and surviving.

In college, I never had a hard time with approaching anybody and try to start a conversation. Although my last two years showed another side of me that I think became the cause of me and my friends' disbandment. I became temperamental, I fault find all the time and my mouth never had a filter. I say what I want to say, mistaking being harshly blunt to being honest. This kind of attitude poured down to my first two jobs after graduation. I ended up resigning from both jobs because of colleague arguments. Such attitude also stressed my parents, and they do not know what to do with me. Until I decided to run away from home.

Today, I realized more than ever that I am "A Loner, no friends, no social life". Whatever "friendships" I have thought I have cultivated back when I was young were nothing. Those were just relationships in that period. What makes it difficult is that my personality now really will not make me win friends. I am not the type to say "Hi, what's up!"; "Wanna hang out?". I don't ask about people's lives. I think I am worse than before, and living alone (since I ranaway from home) makes it harder. I am not interested that much to go out now; I want to watch a movie but eventually lose the mood to do so; The moment I decide to go out and distract myself with the things outside, I just end up having a long bus ride wasting my time in a moving vehicle while tinkering my phone.

While I enjoy my time and space on my own, sometimes, I am seeking someone; someone to teach me things, to bring me to places, to accept me as I am and to have the patience to tolerate this quiet, loner personality of mine.

Sorry if my posts sound too selfish. I feel like I talk about myself a lot. I relate to the topic of each thread, and I cannot help myself but voice out my similar situation. :'(
Yo wassup
I kinda understand your situation, but dont give up!
you know, people make mistakes, i mean all people, and thats normal
and that doesnt mean you cant make up your mistakes

I recommend you to get away from your comfort zone, and start make up little by little
Im sure all of your friends will understand your condition

I hope this can help
Goodluck !!
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post #467 of 467 (permalink) Old 12-06-2017, 07:51 PM
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I have tried but I've never really been the type of person to initiate, it does not come naturally to me. I guess even during the time I did go out often I didn't put in that much effort and eventually everything just slipped away. Now I feel like I totally lack any ability around people to be social or know how to act properly. Whats sad is that the desire is there but the shame that people will find out how friendless I really am prevails so I rather people not know me even if they show some interest. I'm not one to just sit at home all day though, I still try to get and do activities to distract myself, even if it means alone.
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