Loner, no friends, no social life - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 467 (permalink) Old 01-31-2008, 06:46 AM
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Re: Loner, no friends, no social life


My only friends are my mother and my son so I guess they don't really even count.

At least I'm not as afraid of people as I am spiders!
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post #22 of 467 (permalink) Old 01-31-2008, 04:52 PM
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Re: Loner, no friends, no social life


Yes agree w/ everyone... I have very little social life and what I do have is only because I have a boyfriend.. who ironically (but on 2nd thought, probably not, why do you think I was attracted to him in the first place) has an outstanding personality - he coudl talk to a tree and it would be friends with him.

I just hate the way I'm so dependent on him. It sucks having to be the person in a relationship who doesn't have their own life.

I only had 1 good friend in HS who was basicallly a horrible person and we had a falling-out senior yr. Then I went to college in Philly and finally got some friends in the last year, but, some friends we are, we don't keep in touch and haven't seen each other since graduation in June.

Living back at home w/ my parents now.. with no friends in town except for 1 that just moved in w/ her bf and has no time for me which is bull****.. so I do nothing after work every day and hang out w/ my bf on the weekends down in Philly. If he is away for the weekend then I have zero life and have to think of ways to spend the daylight hours.

It absolutely sucks b/c I thought that when I got to be 22 I'd have this amazing life w/ a little group of girlfriends that I made at college and would be having the time of my life.. going out having fun, completely forgetting how I was shy as a kid and how I hated HS.

Funny how its the COMPLETE opposite. But I wish it really was funny, it makes me so utterly sad and lonely all of the time...
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post #23 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-01-2008, 07:47 PM
 
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Re: Loner, no friends, no social life


welcome to the club


weekends suck with no friends


to think i looked forward to weekends years ago...
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post #24 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-01-2008, 08:53 PM
 
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Re: Loner, no friends, no social life


I totally agree w/ what Jordana said. I married my college sweetheart, and he has a great personality so he can be friends w/ anyone! Me on the other hand can't really talk to people at social places. I am 25 & only have 1 close friend from high school but she lives 1,200 miles away. I tried to make friends from work but they never said yes to hanging out. It's weird because I am a photographer so I have to be able to talk to people while I am on set, and I don't have a problem w/ that I just can't make friends at all it seems! I think maybe I need some therapy...
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post #25 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-01-2008, 09:26 PM
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Re: Loner, no friends, no social life


yeah i tried therapy for a few months and decided to stop going b/c it wasn't really doing anything and I was going to london in a few months and obv wouldnt be able to go after that.

I just need some friends...thats all. I'm sick of hoping my boyfriend can hang out with me. But I don't know where to make them... I just started a new job and hopefully I can make some friends there, but the SA has got me thinking I'm acting really strange and people think I'm weird.

Ariel - what kind of photography do you do? My mom is a photographer - mostly children.
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post #26 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-02-2008, 11:55 PM
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Re: Loner, no friends, no social life


Have you seen Cloverfield? The beginning going-away party? I think if I were to move out of the country, there would be a total of maybe 2 people that would come.
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post #27 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-03-2008, 12:45 PM
 
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Re: Loner, no friends, no social life


I used to have very bad sad to the point of feeling like i was was gonna pass out or die in groups of people, but i got to a point of just not giving a **** and realizing it was stupid to worrie about all the things causeing my anxiety. sadly i dont think sad ever completly goes away its just somthing ive found u got to deal with. I thought for a bit that I had complety over come it but then i moved and am trying to make new friends but realized that sad is here to stay, I hate when people look at me like im a creep or worse even call me one to my face, its crushing and makes me feel like i should be self councious and afraid of meeting people. then agian maybe were just not ment to have friends if people dont like us they can all just go to hell.
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post #28 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-03-2008, 08:55 PM
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Re: Loner, no friends, no social life


You pinned down my life perfectly as well. I'm 23, no friends, no life. I feel like my life is a broken record, that just keeps repeating the same day over and over. I've never been on a date, kissed a boy, or just had friends to go out with on the weekends. It's miserable. I just started school actually, I'm taking 2 classes this semester which is a big step for me. I've basically hid in my bed with the sheets over my head for the past 8 years. I'm really feeling the loneliness of life today, which is why I am on this forum.
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post #29 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-03-2008, 09:07 PM
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Re: Loner, no friends, no social life


The worst part is the regret that you feel knowing that you've wasted the years that were supposed to be wild and crazy, and you can't get them back.
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post #30 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-03-2008, 10:19 PM
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Re: Loner, no friends, no social life


I've stopped waiting for friends. If I want to go ice skating, I go ice skating, If I want to go to the gym, I go to the gym. I can't sit around waiting for friends.

You had me at hello.
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post #31 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-03-2008, 10:52 PM
 
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Re: Loner, no friends, no social life


I'm 18 now, high school ended last year, I have no friends, girlfriend or any social life whatsoever now. I can't meet new people or make new friends, haven't made a new friend on my own since I was younger, now they're all gone at away colleges, probably having good social lives, while I'm still here with nothing. Oh well
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post #32 of 467 (permalink) Old 01-31-2009, 09:06 PM
 
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Same here, I'm 18. I used to be a social butterfly but through anxiety cut myself out of my friends lives and only two of them stuck around. One friend suffers anxiety too - but since she started college has made made loads of friends and is leaving me behind. So on Saturdays and Fridays when all the other girls my age are out enjoying their lives I'm stuck at home wandering what is wrong with me. It's tough, but there are many of us out there.
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post #33 of 467 (permalink) Old 01-31-2009, 09:33 PM
 
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I envy you. I've had a girlfriend and a great social life in the past and its faded completely away, now im a loner.. Infact i still have friends now from my sporting team and from school but I never ever go and hang out with them (even though I want to) I'm just incapable of it.

the pain is alot worse when youve had your life taken away from you.. by yourself
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post #34 of 467 (permalink) Old 01-31-2009, 09:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by FadeToBlack View Post
I envy you. I've had a girlfriend and a great social life in the past and its faded completely away, now im a loner.. Infact i still have friends now from my sporting team and from school but I never ever go and hang out with them (even though I want to) I'm just incapable of it.

the pain is alot worse when youve had your life taken away from you.. by yourself
This happened to me also. It's very difficult to deal with..
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post #35 of 467 (permalink) Old 01-31-2009, 09:39 PM
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I haven't had any friends since high school so for a few years.
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post #36 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-01-2009, 02:53 AM
 
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wow.. someone should create a get together..
we need to de-stress
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post #37 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-01-2009, 03:32 AM
 
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The problem I have is that I live in a tiny little town so I can't exactly "go out" anywhere other than a bar. Seeing as how I do not drink or smoke, nor do I like to associate with people that do (smoking especially), I don't feel like going there haha.

I don't expect anything to change in my life. I know some things are inevitable, but for the last 2 years I have been in a routine that I do not see breaking anytime soon. I am going on a vacation with my brother in May, but I am not sure how that will turn out yet.
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post #38 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-01-2009, 09:09 AM
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I'm always alone, sometimes I go for a week or longer without talking to anyone other than muttering a thank you or few words to a cashier. It feels like time has stopped for me, I wake up everyday and everyday is the same. I don't really have any memories that stand out from the past few years because nothing happens.
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post #39 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-01-2009, 09:27 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lastexile View Post
The reason I think my life sucks is because I'm 24 and I've never had any friends, a girlfriend, and social life before.
Same here except I'm 22. Never had a life.

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I follow the same routine everyday: go to school and come home; in my free time I just exercise, watch tv, use the internet, or daydream.
I don't go to school but everything else is the same. Every day is the same for me.

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I never really go anywhere; even on the weekends, holidays, breaks and summer I stay home. It's not like I like staying home all the time, I just don't know where to go and what to do. I always thought that you only go out if you have friends, because it's pretty weird to go watch a movie by yourself or hang out at the mall by yourself unless you just want time alone.
I also think it would be weird to go to the movies by yourself or something. I don't go anywhere because I have no one to go with.

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Originally Posted by lastexile View Post
I looked up the definition for loner and it said "a person who is or prefers to be alone, esp. one who avoids the company of others". I don't think this describes me, I mean I don't prefer to be alone at all and I'd very much like to be in the company of others, but I'm just awkward around other people and never seem to fit in with anybody.
I don't like to be alone either. I like being around people but my SA prevents me from doing so.

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In high school and college I talked to people but I didn't know how to make friends, so I was a loner for my entire high school years and as well as my college. My problem is that I don't know how to make friends and who to make friends with.
I didn't talk much in high school or college but I don't know how to make friends and who to make friends with either.
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post #40 of 467 (permalink) Old 02-01-2009, 09:51 AM
 
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Judging by the 3,000+ views on this thread (wow!), I'd say your situation is common among SA sufferers. The good news is you can turn your life around, it's never too late. Start taking steps to overcome SA!
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