Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. - Page 13 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #241 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-09-2012, 07:14 PM
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I've been trying to let it go for years now.... I blame my parents, mom mostly, for the abuse ,but I can't seem to close the chapter until she accepts she did the things she did. I've tried to forget but cant. I confronted her last week, drunk, and it went bad. I confronted her again, today, sober, and it went well. I just wanted to get out the beatings she gave me, and she said it didn't go as I said, and it wasn't as bad. My dad was like, get over it. I'm in my mid 30's and feel like, ****, why can't I get over this and "let it go"...but i just had to get it out and it felt good, even though there was alot of denial on their end. Mom offered to go to therapy for the both of us, and even see a hypnotherapist to see what actually happened and what didn't. I guess I feel like a jackass mostly for being this age and having brought this up.
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post #242 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-10-2012, 03:58 PM
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I can never seem to let it go. I evaluate each and every detail of what has happened, especially in distressing social situations.

"they must think I'm a creep"
" Ohmylord, SJ, your voice! Did you hear it?! holy cow, you made a right fool of yourself"
"I can't believe I just said that, I can't believe I just did that, I'm going to lock myself in my room for the rest of forever with as little social contact as possible for the rest of forever" gahhhhhh.
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post #243 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-13-2012, 01:35 PM
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I'm slowly learning to let go... Realising that everything I've experienced has prepared me for the person I am today.
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post #244 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-14-2012, 03:55 AM
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Subconscious


Hello, I am really new to these forums, and relatively new to anxiety I guess. I have always been "a worrier" and have always been paraniod about "the worst" happening in any situation, but it's never had such an affect on me as it has done since February this year, which was obviously when the anxiety actually started.
This has been the worst thing to happen to me, ever. But I can only describe it as a subconscious issue. Even when it first started I hadn't been sitting around thinking about anything bad or in the past or future, I was just me, confident, cracking on with my life and enjoying myself.
That was until my heart just started racing ridiculously fast, all day every day, for no reason that i knew of. After a few days of putting up with it, hoping it would go away, I finally went to the doctors. They tried to register my heart rate but couldn't because it was so fast. This was when he prescribed me propranolol, 40mg 3x a day. Sinec then I have been gradually reducing the dosage at my own pace, I have always hated the idea of being stuck on tabs!!
But even now, I suffer with my anxiety all day every day and still I am not sitting around worrying or consciously thinking about things, all of a sudden it will hit me and I find myself hunting for my tablets again. I blame the subconscious!
I have even given in again and have agreed to start CBT, apparently it will help me, I guess I'll soon find out.
I just wnat to be me again, I am so sick of feeling like I don't know myself anymore, I just want to enjoy spending time with my friends and family without having to dive out the front door for some fresh air when things get to much, that, is not me!
Can anyone suggest anything that might help at all? Sorry about going on so much!
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post #245 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-14-2012, 06:48 AM
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For depressed, restless & unhappy minds. Kechara healing chakras are the best for you.

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post #246 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-15-2012, 12:54 AM
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I just missed my chance with this girl. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was repeating let it go and it helped. Thanks.
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post #247 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-17-2012, 01:54 PM
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Move on, its gone.... A mantra i try to apply

If no man is an island i will take the palm trees and sand.

I live as i choose or i will not live at all- cranberries
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post #248 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-17-2012, 04:28 PM
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Totally agree, a good lesson for us all. I spend so much of my time in auto-pilot while my mind is somewhere else; anticipating the worst, fantasizing what I want to happen only for it too not pan out that way. Leads to disappointment.
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post #249 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-17-2012, 04:31 PM
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@Lianna42: "Hello, I am really new to these forums, and relatively new to anxiety I guess. I have always been "a worrier" and have always been paraniod about "the worst" happening in any situation, but it's never had such an affect on me as it has done since February this year, which was obviously when the anxiety actually started.
This has been the worst thing to happen to me, ever. But I can only describe it as a subconscious issue. Even when it first started I hadn't been sitting around thinking about anything bad or in the past or future, I was just me, confident, cracking on with my life and enjoying myself.
That was until my heart just started racing ridiculously fast, all day every day, for no reason that i knew of. After a few days of putting up with it, hoping it would go away, I finally went to the doctors. They tried to register my heart rate but couldn't because it was so fast. This was when he prescribed me propranolol, 40mg 3x a day. Sinec then I have been gradually reducing the dosage at my own pace, I have always hated the idea of being stuck on tabs!!
But even now, I suffer with my anxiety all day every day and still I am not sitting around worrying or consciously thinking about things, all of a sudden it will hit me and I find myself hunting for my tablets again. I blame the subconscious!
I have even given in again and have agreed to start CBT, apparently it will help me, I guess I'll soon find out.
I just wnat to be me again, I am so sick of feeling like I don't know myself anymore, I just want to enjoy spending time with my friends and family without having to dive out the front door for some fresh air when things get to much, that, is not me!
Can anyone suggest anything that might help at all? Sorry about going on so much!"


I'm not a doctor, but perhaps panic disorder?
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post #250 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-19-2012, 10:58 PM
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So very true. I spend so much time on thinking about what has happened or what might happen that I get so worked up, and ultimately it is over something that you have no control over. Now is what you have a choice in, this second. A great post. I am going to try to use this.
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post #251 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-20-2012, 09:03 PM
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I disagree partly with the original post. I think that when you start to dwell on something- BEFORE you let it go, it is important to first give yourself a positive thought on it, THEN let it go.

E.g. if you regretted that you screwed up a conversation... You find yourself thinking "they thought i was an idiot, I am terrible at this etc..."

First tell yourself STOP- THEN give yourself positive realistic thoughts - E.g. "It's okay- Everyone has moments like this. Also, I am an anxious person so it's natural that I reacted like that. I am improving anyway, and I did act well during another part of the conversation. They probably didn't even think much about it." THEN make yourself move on.

I think if you just repress everything without replacing the negative with positive, eventually you will have a crash where something bad happens that you can NOT just push aside, and suddenly you feel horrible about everything as everything that you pushed under the rug is coming back to you.

Anyway, basically I just wanted to add that in my opinion, there should be an extra step before "letting it go."
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post #252 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-21-2012, 06:29 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by d3lusionkt View Post
I disagree partly with the original post. I think that when you start to dwell on something- BEFORE you let it go, it is important to first give yourself a positive thought on it, THEN let it go.

E.g. if you regretted that you screwed up a conversation... You find yourself thinking "they thought i was an idiot, I am terrible at this etc..."

First tell yourself STOP- THEN give yourself positive realistic thoughts - E.g. "It's okay- Everyone has moments like this. Also, I am an anxious person so it's natural that I reacted like that. I am improving anyway, and I did act well during another part of the conversation. They probably didn't even think much about it." THEN make yourself move on.

I think if you just repress everything without replacing the negative with positive, eventually you will have a crash where something bad happens that you can NOT just push aside, and suddenly you feel horrible about everything as everything that you pushed under the rug is coming back to you.

Anyway, basically I just wanted to add that in my opinion, there should be an extra step before "letting it go."
Agreed.

If I had to put this extra step into words.. I'd say accepting whatever happened(doesn't have to be overly positive but you just have to tell yourself that whatever happened happened and you accept it.) and then let it go.

bye
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post #253 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-23-2012, 09:30 AM
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Unhappy

no


I'm not always dwelling on things from my past. I literally have a fear of talking to people it triggers my anxiety and I go into panic. I have always felt this way. The only thing that is on my mind at that moment is what they might be thinking or what they just said.
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post #254 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-25-2012, 05:13 PM
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agreed

great post.

I definitely need to learn to let it go. But its easier said than done sometimes -_-
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post #255 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-26-2012, 10:04 PM
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Though I completely agree with this thought process and all it quite simply doesn't work for me. I'll spend days resolving an issue only to sit in bed at 3am realizing this is the EXACT time I need to guilt trip myself about something that happened years/months/days past. The negatives seem to always outweigh the positives, regardless of the spin I put on them. Fun times.
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post #256 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-26-2012, 10:48 PM
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Can't sleep, bad memories.
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post #257 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-27-2012, 10:32 PM
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I handle the stress by going for a walk and jog, it helps a bit, but has not cured me so far...
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post #258 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 07:17 AM
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I also like to go for a walk or a run to clear my mind - I find it really helps.

Some of the inner strength shown by you guys is a real inspiration - keep going, people.

Other than running, I also find that I can contextualize problems by talking to my pet ferret or by meeting up with old friends for a felch.
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post #259 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-29-2012, 06:12 AM
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Yesterday something happened that made me realize I have been holding onto the past, too. Not only that, but holding a serious grudge, too.

I never thought I would be so angry. I can't stop thinking about what I perceive to be the biggest slights and pain I experienced as a child and preteen that shaped me as I was. These are the things I can't get over. I feel like I can't forgive my parents.

Truly, I would like to be the bigger person and forgive, but it's so hard when I see remnants and repetitions of the past happening again that really makes me bitter. My parents will never change, but that's hard for me to accept.
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post #260 of 860 (permalink) Old 08-30-2012, 09:26 PM
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For me, the hardest part of letting it go is when I have to confront those painful memories and accept them for what they are. It's like there's a catch to this "relax and gently let the memories fade" type of thought process that I got out of the post (I know it's not easy; you just made it seem like it is). Also I'm afraid of unknowingly letting go the wrong way through suppression since I know it'll come back one day to haunt me.

I appreciate your inspiring post, though.
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