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-   Coping With Social Anxiety (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/)
-   -   Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/let-it-go-let-it-go-let-it-go-165508/)

BlueBoo 06-30-2012 12:18 PM

it's true :)

ya really think 07-01-2012 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsDaisy (Post 1059655908)
Like I always say....L*I*F*E*G*O*E*S*O*N http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy119.gif

you got more money than life my friend but still:roll

Ariya 07-02-2012 10:42 AM

Yup really nice post. Thinking a lot has became a habit and learning to live in the present moment is the solution, but letting go of this thinking too much habit doesn't seem easy. But as u suggest m gonna try and say let it go and try to live in present moment

MsDaisy 07-02-2012 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ya really think (Post 1060082487)
you got more money than life my friend but still:roll

It goes, "You've got more than money and sense, my friend,
You've got heart, and you go in your own way". :)

khammy 07-06-2012 12:15 PM

reading this made me feel a little better and its true. Recently i hung out with someone ive been wanting to see and it was so quite. all i thought was we used to be so close n stuff n idt ill see him after today...when i sould of made the best of that moment. now that turned into a memory within days...and i could of been a better one. blah i just did it again. lol its so hard to actully live in the momment tho and not thing about thoes things. esp if u been doing it for a while but i will try harder and just relax and fill my head with fun things to talk about at the moment instead of worring about tommroow. :roll

hopefulhere 07-07-2012 12:54 PM

A therapist once told me that I become socially paralyzed because my past keeps rearing up in front of me. I read The Secret last summer, and it really helped a lot. The author says that changing your negative thoughts is like tuning to a different radio station. Just change the channel. Keep changing it as often as you need to.

Just Tony 07-07-2012 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopefulhere (Post 1060098808)
A therapist once told me that I become socially paralyzed because my past keeps rearing up in front of me. I read The Secret last summer, and it really helped a lot. The author says that changing your negative thoughts is like tuning to a different radio station. Just change the channel. Keep changing it as often as you need to.

Just change the channel... Thanks! That makes a lot of sense and can be applied often.

*Writes it down in my pocket notebook*

Kat Kristina 07-10-2012 04:44 PM

embarrassing memories make me cry sometime, but crying helps me let it out.

Mogmop 07-14-2012 09:05 AM

Hi guys! You all seem so supportive that I just had to join :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopefulhere (Post 1060098808)
A therapist once told me that I become socially paralyzed because my past keeps rearing up in front of me. I read The Secret last summer, and it really helped a lot. The author says that changing your negative thoughts is like tuning to a different radio station. Just change the channel. Keep changing it as often as you need to.


My therapist recommended that I actually visualise a big stop sign and think to myself "STOP!" everytime I start to dwell on painful things. I rolled my eyes a bit at first, but it really has been the single most valuable method of progress for me.

ps. This really is a fantastic topic.

Mint Cookie 07-16-2012 12:38 PM

Hi everyone,

I'm new here and I just wanted to say that I love this thread. Letting go of negative thoughts is such a hard for me to do...

I went to a festival a few weeks ago, something that I had been looking forward to for a couple of months (with a couple of worries aside). The first day was hard and all I could do was putting myself down, but on the second day I pushed myself to stop the negative flow. A few of my favorite bands were playing on that festival and I knew could never forgive myself if I had ruined such an experience, just by having a lot of unrealistic thoughts. I had a really good time after that!

So letting go definitely helps, I think!

Charlize184 07-16-2012 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Tony (Post 1059654116)
Say it with me. Let it go, let it go, and guess what? Let it go.

One of our biggest problems is that we always dwell in the past. Just let it go, its already done. Thinking about it isnt going to change anything. The only thing thinking will do is WASTE your time, and bring back all those horrible FEELINGS you "think" you had when that moment was actually happening.

Waste our time you say? Yeah. You know how people always ask you if you are okay? If you are feeling sad? Etc, etc. Well thats because we are always lost in thought. Always thinking about the past, and always thinking about the future. We aren't actually PRESENT in the moment. Our bodies are there but our mind is off in a distant world. No presence. Something we all can work on.

So when you think of something and go "crap I wish.. this and that couldve gone better.." Well what can I say? What can you say? It already happened. Worry about the now, and the past wont be such a problem.


Yeah, sometimes I get into those moods, as I'm sure everyone does. I also dream of how things may have been different if I had just made a different decision...Sometimes, I really just want to go back in time and just change that one little thing that would have made all the difference. You just have to learn to accept what you cannot change. Move forward. Not backward. As hard as it may be.

TJenkins602 07-18-2012 06:46 PM

Interesting thing is that I have let go of my past. The present is sending me through a hell of a roller coaster right now. LOL!

SeeleBlutenden 07-20-2012 12:43 PM

Let go? letting go is so hard when you want to remeber to not ever encounter that again. its even hard to say "let go." do you all ever get anxiety from the thought of letting something go? like you have to figure it out, discyfer everything like you some professor in sociaoligy and human behavior.

one thing is for sure you hit it dead on the nail with you post and that some dont live in the present and is always stuck in thought of the past or future. shaking thouse thoughts are hard and almost inconceavable for me.

SeeleBlutenden 07-20-2012 12:50 PM

Mint Cookie i am glad you got to enjoy your time! i know all to well the sours of having unrealitisc thoughts destroying something that you know you like and is sopose to be fun. You actually stopd it in mid process it sounds like. that for me is hard once my minds on a roll its on a run! glad to see its possible. :)

Royals 07-20-2012 01:15 PM

The worst thing is when you dream about your regrets :( I used to have a lot of dreams about school. About missing opportunities of talking to that girl, of doing this doing that... Basically not opening myself enough to enjoy life to the fullest. But that is a long time ago, and I moved on. It doesn't matter anymore. Regrets really hurt and stop you from growing mentally. Find some distraction, think about future possibilities, about just developing and progressing on a personal level in general. It doesn't help thinking about how others lives are great are either because you can never compare yourself with another person. You will only see the shortcomings and things you don't have. It is about being happy with yourself and the way you are. I keep telling myself that :)

DoulaAndrea 07-23-2012 12:33 AM

Thank you for this. I'm always in the past or future. I need to be in the present because that's where my kids are. I'm missing out on so much of them. I think this quite often. Thanks for the reminder.

CaffeineAddict 07-24-2012 10:24 AM

I don't think I'm ever going to be able to let some things go. I'm in my early 20s and feel crippled by my past. Several reasons. Regrets, bittersweet memories, incredible memories that will never be again... I'm just a dude that seems to cling to the vestiges of the past and what will never be. Other times, I look back and regret a few minuscule things that wouldn't have been guaranteed to change the future even if I had actually made a change... it's just a negative cycle and it's destroying my life. I'm losing it. Don't know what to do. After believing into what a lost love told me, of being with her for 3 years and thinking that we'd be together forever (she gave me this facade and planted it in my mind every time we were together), and losing her because she cheated, I don't know, I just feel plagued by the BS of the past. I'm messed up because of this screwy mindset.

theseventhkey 07-24-2012 04:32 PM

Good insight, coming from a youngster. The younger you are the more this can be reinforced. I will also say this is easier "said" than done. It's hard to let go when the past has already destroyed what matters.

mayanguy 07-24-2012 09:46 PM

Have you made someone feel good lately? I mean, hugged them or put an arm around their shoulders, looked them in the eye and told them in a confident, but gentle way, "I'm here".

You really don't have to say anything. We're all human. We can detect the love of another. I believe all it takes is a look. A smile. A nod, that says, you're not alone. You're [I]not[I] alone. Share love to feel it. Never ask for it, just give it. It will make you feel good. It will be detectable in you.

Plan on giving it, once and remember how it feels. Then plan on giving it again. Would you feel depressed if someone did that to you? I donít see how. It sets off a chemical in your brain that makes you feel warm.

Iím no scientist, but there has to be a good reason why we associate negativity with coldness. You know, the coldness that makes you stiffen up. Itís like someone poured concrete in your soul. I hate that feeling.

Iíd rather feel warm. Iíd rather feel loved. Iíd rather [B]be[B] loved. But, it would take a warm hug to thaw me out, no? If I can get that warmth by giving it then I donít have to wait for it anymore. I can generate my own warmth by providing it to others; by thawing them out.

Clearly, we run hot and cold. And like ants, it takes the [I]bump[I] from another to get us moving in a constructive pattern again. Maybe, behaving [I]constructively[I] negates behaving [I]destructively[I]. Maybe we need to give and get that bump periodically, throughout our day.

Hug somebody. Ease their pain to ease your own. Practice in the mirror if you have to. Practice that look; that nod. It might make you smile. Thatís the chemical at work. I think the chemical is called, love.

Ulaylia 07-28-2012 02:00 PM

I wish it was that easy
 
I've gone thru so much negativity my whole life. Because of it, I've made horrible mistakes that no one will forget. I can easily forget the things I've done, but others don't, and still treat me like I'm nothing because of it.its hard to get past it when no one else can. Wish I could just erase pols minds, then I would be at peace.


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