Social Anxiety Forum

Social Anxiety Forum (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/)
-   Coping With Social Anxiety (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/)
-   -   Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/let-it-go-let-it-go-let-it-go-165508/)

Just Tony 02-11-2012 04:06 PM

Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.
 
Say it with me. Let it go, let it go, and guess what? Let it go.

One of our biggest problems is that we always dwell in the past. Just let it go, its already done. Thinking about it isnt going to change anything. The only thing thinking will do is WASTE your time, and bring back all those horrible FEELINGS you "think" you had when that moment was actually happening.

Waste our time you say? Yeah. You know how people always ask you if you are okay? If you are feeling sad? Etc, etc. Well thats because we are always lost in thought. Always thinking about the past, and always thinking about the future. We aren't actually PRESENT in the moment. Our bodies are there but our mind is off in a distant world. No presence. Something we all can work on.

So when you think of something and go "crap I wish.. this and that couldve gone better.." Well what can I say? What can you say? It already happened. Worry about the now, and the past wont be such a problem.

This person said something interesting. I highly recommend you all read it. d3lusionkt
Something i've been wanting to add to the OP.here
My opinion on how to improve ourselves.here

Swagger91 02-11-2012 04:18 PM

This is so true. I'm constantly thinking about all opportunities I've missed over the past few years. Regret is one of the worst feelings ever, and yet it's SO pointless. I'm wasting all my time thinking about all the time I've already wasted. It's ridiculous!

LucidVision 02-11-2012 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Tony (Post 1059654116)
Say it with me. Let it go, let it go, and guess what? Let it go.

One of our biggest problems is that we always dwell in the past. Just let it go, its already done. Thinking about it isnt going to change anything. The only thing thinking will do is WASTE your time, and bring back all those horrible FEELINGS you "think" you had when that moment was actually happening.

Waste our time you say? Yeah. You know how people always ask you if you are okay? If you are feeling sad? Etc, etc. Well thats because we are always lost in thought. Always thinking about the past, and always thinking about the future. We aren't actually PRESENT in the moment. Our bodies are there but our mind is off in a distant world. No presence. Something we all can work on.

So when you think of something and go "crap I wish.. this and that couldve gone better.." Well what can I say? What can you say? It already happened. Worry about the now, and the past wont be such a problem.

Nice post +1.

I'm still working on this. (I'm pretty sure I have some OCD)

Lasair 02-11-2012 04:26 PM

Good post sticky!

Kennnie 02-11-2012 04:27 PM

Im currently still working on this getting a lot better though.

InfiniteBlaze 02-11-2012 04:28 PM

Probably my biggest issue at the moment.

Just Tony 02-11-2012 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janniffy (Post 1059654153)
Good post sticky!

Thanks! I appreciate it miss.

feverfew 02-11-2012 11:11 PM

One of the best posts I've ever read!

nathanw 02-12-2012 12:17 AM

i agree and i know youre right ive tried it so many times, to think positive and everything, and then whats happened is im somewhere where guys will start talking about say, their high school days, and it just brings back all my painful memories-like a dagger in my heart, and then it all comes crashing down!! HELP!!!

Neptunus 02-12-2012 12:26 AM

A+++ post! :)

momentsunset 02-12-2012 12:31 AM

thanks for this post. i really needed it right now.

im Lost 02-12-2012 06:19 AM

nice post :)

enzo 02-12-2012 07:46 AM

I see why this is a sticky.

All i do is think. it will be difficult to do otherwise.

MsDaisy 02-12-2012 08:03 AM

Like I always say....L*I*F*E*G*O*E*S*O*N http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy119.gif

crispycritter 02-12-2012 08:21 AM

thank you

JenN2791 02-12-2012 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by enzo (Post 1059655883)
I see why this is a sticky.

All i do is think. it will be difficult to do otherwise.

Yah I've probably spent a good (terribly large) portion of my life just thinking all the time.. worrying to death...regretting to death.... thinking to death.

Everytime something goes bad that somehow reminds me of the abuse I went through back then (and 2-3 yrs ago; sexual abuse), I automatically think Wow..ok..guess I'll be screwed again.. guess everyone is like my parents and my ex. Guess everyone is ****ed up and will **** me over.

That sort of thinking eats me up. I compare so many things to the past that it prevents me from seeing more logical conclusions and quit being so delusional at times as well. It kills me all the time...

So to the OP, this was a great post...thanks.

cjamja 02-12-2012 11:59 AM

Love this post! It's actually made my day :) Thank youu :)

bandofoutsider 02-12-2012 01:53 PM

Thanks for this. It's like a mantra to regaining control over your life.

Cub 02-12-2012 03:37 PM

Sounds good to me.

This is a problem most people with SA have. Past doesn't matter; future doesn't matter; present is what is important.

identitycrisis 02-12-2012 03:40 PM

I'm as guilty of this as anyone. Sometimes though, no matter how hard I try, my mind just will not let it go.

Just Tony 02-12-2012 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cub (Post 1059656886)
Sounds good to me.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cub (Post 1059642830)
@OP:

An extremely basic and excellent guideline for life, is this: are you living in the moment, where you are now, or are you living (and predicting) the future (whatever its degree of likeliness)? If the answer is the latter, then you are not living in the moment, where you are now, and therefore nobody is currently living your life.

Life is meant to be lived, not predicted and moaned over hours on end. Get back to reality, to where you are now. xP


This is a problem most people with SA have. Past doesn't matter; future doesn't matter; present is what is important.

Agreed.
I like your reply in that post. Couldn't have said it better myself.

Bunyip 02-12-2012 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by identitycrisis (Post 1059656897)
I'm as guilty of this as anyone. Sometimes though, no matter how hard I try, my mind just will not let it go.

Same

luffy 02-12-2012 09:22 PM

Yeah, easier said than done.

Paradoxic 02-12-2012 10:41 PM

amen brosef

falco 02-12-2012 10:45 PM

Agree, but some problems effected our present, such as small amount of social history, which causes awkward situations.

Of course, the only solution to overcome this circle is to keep putting yourself there, but again, I agree that "it is easier said than done" :)

Toppington 02-12-2012 10:49 PM

I think I really needed this post. Thanks...

Unexist 02-12-2012 10:51 PM

its so much harder said than done but , i try and try more every day :) its like the more you dwell on the past and the future the worse SA becomes, i have just got to learn to live in the moment..

Meta14 02-12-2012 10:52 PM

I tell myself this everyday. Doesn't work.

dmpj 02-12-2012 10:52 PM

Something I have to work on.

Just Tony 02-12-2012 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luffy (Post 1059657710)
Yeah, easier said than done.

Course its easier said then done. No one said it was easy. Its just that knowledge is power and I hoped that this would free some minds a bit.

luffy 02-13-2012 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Tony (Post 1059658060)
Course its easier said then done. No one said it was easy. Its just that knowledge is power and I hoped that this would free some minds a bit.

okay. nobody's telling you not to say it.

drgiggles 02-13-2012 05:57 PM

Thanks man this helped i constantly think about the past and it really sucks

panzimar 02-13-2012 06:05 PM

It might be easier said than done, but just keep saying it and the doing it gets easier too.

Zerix 02-13-2012 10:39 PM

Almost impossible to do, but it's nice that this got stickied, will be a real good reminder! Thanks for the post.

memoria 02-14-2012 07:08 PM

even with letting things go, social anxiety keeps us from doing things in the present.

Gorillaz 02-14-2012 08:50 PM

good post !

Bunyip 02-14-2012 08:55 PM

I have to look at this post every now and then, over and over again... xD

Milco 02-15-2012 11:37 AM

"Those who do not remember their past are condemned to repeat their mistakes."
As with most other things, it's a matter of moderation.

A Christian prayer comes to mind..
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."


You can never get rid of things that happened in the past nor can you your hopes for the future. And neither should you.
The key, and the hard part, is figuring out which things from the past that are still relevant for you to learn from and which things that will only bring harm.
This isn't something we can just whip up just like that, but something that takes a lifetime to really get good at.
It is something to learn as you get better and not a prerequisite for getting better.

Nells 02-15-2012 11:50 AM

Great post and i completely agree..! its just what i was thinking..you're right it is easier said than done but it's something we have to work through!
I know what its like to have your body in the present and your head somewhere else, that was me. I'm addicted to music and i used to fantaze listening to music and my brain got into the habit and i ended up losing my mind, so it's so important to live in the moment and forget about the past..what's done is done, move on!

rymo 02-16-2012 08:00 AM

It's something you need to remind yourself in order to overcome SA and to finally be able to live in the present...great post.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:43 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® ©2000-2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome