re: Learning to manage SA
Great post. You made a lot of good points. Unfortunatley for most of us, it isn't that easy to just get some confidence, feel good about ourselves and then everything will be OK. I really wish it were. I have my good days where I feel more attractive and more confident, but it isn't steady, and I definitely have more days that I feel ugly, worthless and completely uninteresting. I wish I could find a way to get more confidence, but it's a vicious cycle--since people tend to dismiss me, in my head there must be a reason. I also dont think I'm very attractive.
Another problem I have is that since I'm quiet and always tend to fade into the background of things, people dont' pay me much mind. I feel like they dismiss me before I could get a chance to show that being quiet isn't all there is to me, and I have to work extra hard at being social, which is exhausting at times. It does not come naturally. I don't have that "charisma" where people are always gravitating towards me, talking to me and inviting me places without me even trying because they know from prior experience I won't say much in return.
I know one thing that does work for me...drinking! I don't turn into the life of the party when I drink but a lot of my social anxieties fly out the window and I feel much more comfortable talking to people than I do naturally. It's not the best idea, since I use drinking as a crutch when I'm in any social situation, but it seems to be the only thing that's really worked. If it weren't for alchohol, I dont' think I'd have met any where near as many people as I have.