Learning to do things at later age than normal - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 06:58 AM Thread Starter
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Learning to do things at later age than normal


My parents were pretty protective of me growing up, and I didn't experience a lot of things you normally would as a child. Anyway, I have been thinking about this and don't want to keep regretting things. I have a bike, but my social anxiety about learning became too great. I was learning at a bike/walking trail, and there were all these teenagers and kids riding their bikes around me and I felt embarrassed to be so terrible at it and quit.

Anyone ever do anything at a later age than normal, and gone through the little bit of embarrassment to do it? Were you happy you did it?
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post #2 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 07:04 AM
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It is awesome that you are still OPEN to learning though... some people would just say nope forget it ... too late... if you want to learn to ride that bike keep finding other places to learn or try that one during a time kids are in school... where no one is if you must... you can do it... I know it is embarrassing but imagine how awesome you will feel when you do it. Try to picture that awesome feeling in your mind being so much more important.
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post #3 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 07:23 AM
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Learning to ride a bike is almost like a cliche for childhood but it's admirable that even though your childhood didn't include that (which is no big loss if the kid is otherwise happy and not into bikes) but I suppose ideally, all kids should have that option.

It's brave of you to learn it now, cos you WILL learn it, it's easy enough to get the hang of but not without some minor mistake which s.ayers may intrepret as embarrassing rather than a learning curve so kudos to you for being willing to take it up.

I have a bike and it's great for toning your thighs but the tyre kept deflating even with several new inner tubes so I though forget this and left it in the garage. I don't do well with bikes since I'm so short. You're best riding in designated areas like you are doing at the trail cos on the streets and roads just annoys people! :S

The biggest mistake you can make in life is to be continually afraid of making one-Elbert Hubbard
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post #4 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 10:29 AM
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I had training wheels. I rode until I noticed they weren't touching the ground anymore and took them off. I think that would be a bit embarrassing for an adult. But not everyone has a bicycle when they are a kid, so it probably isn't as embarrassing you think. Most people won't be paying attention to you. I know social anxiety makes us think every kid is watching and saying look at that adult learning to ride a bike, and I would feel the same as you, but in reality kids would just be focused on what they are doing.

I love riding a bicycle and want to get one. My health makes that a questionable proposition, so you are lucky to be able to ride.

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"People see me / I'm a challenge / to your balance" -- Wonder, Natalie Merchant
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post #5 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 10:39 AM
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i'm 18 and i can't figure out how to get around to places by reading street names or addresses. the only way i know how to get places is by memorizing how i get there, or looking at google maps.

if someone tells me, "go down freeman street until you hit 122nd take a right here and there..." i'd be pretty lost.

it sucks.
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post #6 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 10:43 AM
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I took my first real art course at the age of 43. I was surrounded by 18 - 25 year olds.

Don't let anything stop you from doing the things you want and need to do.

Live Cage Free!!!! or, at least be wild caught.
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You can rebuild your self-esteem. Rebuild it into a way that others cannot destroy it anymore.
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post #7 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 10:44 AM
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As someone who just learned to ride a bike a couple years ago (at 19), I can understand your embarrassment, but would certainly encourage you to keep trying! Personally, I found a big, empty parking lot where no one was likely to be coming through and just went at it. It took hours to get to a point where I was comfortable hopping on and off a bike in public (and being able to not fall over!) but it just took time.

Riding a bike (and learning anything) can be a great experience, and the benefits go beyond just physical. First off there's just the personal feeling of accomplishment, but there's also the fact that you have expanded your repertoire: if you ever feel up to it you can try doing it in a group setting. There are plenty of bike clubs that are open to the inexperienced, and it can be a good way to find a non-threatening place to socialize.

I'll also reiterate what calfme said: the fact that you've given it a shot is fantastic. Being open to learning new things and actually trying keeps you in a healthy mindset. The key is to not let setbacks stop you permanently.
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post #8 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 11:25 AM
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I never learned how to rollerskate when I was kid. We had a roller rink where a lot of us had our birthday parties or sometimes the school would take us their for a class adventure. I was always the kid holding on to the walls or I had to hold on to somebody else while they dragged me. I have a lot of trouble balancing, especially if I'm walking down a set of stairs. I just wanted to be like all the others and fly around the rink without fear of falling but then the rollar blades came out and everything got worse. It sucks and it was embarrassing but knowing how to rollerskate isn't as important as it use to be.

Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.
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post #9 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 11:27 AM
is getting over herself
 
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^ where you been, Organic? I missed your posts.

I like your quote. sorry, off topic. I just need to distract myself for a while.

Live Cage Free!!!! or, at least be wild caught.
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You can rebuild your self-esteem. Rebuild it into a way that others cannot destroy it anymore.
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post #10 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 11:36 AM
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I didn't end up getting my ears pierced until a couple years ago. Everyone I know has had their ears pierced since they were children, so it was a big deal and I thought everyone would think I was stupid being so anxious and practically an adult. I ended up getting it done, at the mall no less, but I'm happy that I did even though it was a bit embarrassing in front of a bunch of people.
I suppose to me its a bit like pulling off a band aid, though it seems unpleasant now you'll be glad afterwards.
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post #11 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 11:40 AM
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I know a lady at work who trained to be a nurse in her late 30s as had kids and thought she would never do it if she didn't do it now. She was doing something unrelated such as property management. She has been matron of an entire research department and is very successful. She also got remarried at 54.
I've know friends take up musical instruments as adults too.
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post #12 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 11:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leonardess View Post
^ where you been, Organic? I missed your posts.

I like your quote. sorry, off topic. I just need to distract myself for a while.
Oh thank you, I've been pretty busy at work, got off early today so I have the rest of the day to do whatever.

Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.
- Jack Kerouac


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post #13 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 12:28 PM
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I've certainly learned late emotionally. I feel as if I was born in minus numbers.
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post #14 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 12:30 PM
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I learned to drive at age 19, which is positively ancient in these parts. Kids in this town have cars before they even turn 16.

So yeah, it was embarrassing but worth it.
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post #15 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 04:24 PM
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I just started learning piano at 28. I guess a musical instrument isn't really a child-defining thing though. Still, most pianist my age seem to be concert players or teachers by now.

I started watching anime at 26 too. A lot of people seem to stop watching when they're like 17! Most of it is pretty mature and deep... kids must be a lot smarter these days.
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post #16 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 05:33 PM
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That's great that you're riding a bike now! I never really learned to ride a bike (a major secret of mine) I can't swim or rollerskate either for that matter. So it's pretty embarrassing for me lol.
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post #17 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 05:39 PM
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I can't find places unless I have a toure planned for me by the almighty internet either man.

I'm currently doing my A levels 2 years behind everyone else.
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post #18 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 06:15 PM
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I started learning to play the cello six months ago (at 24) and piano a year and a half ago (at 23). People tend to expect that if you play the cello as an adult you must be able to play it well, and I have to explain to them that I just started. I can't swim or ride a bike yet. Those are still on my list of things I need to to work on. My ex-boyfriend didn't learn how to drive until he was 28 and I encouraged him to.
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post #19 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 06:52 PM
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I wish I exercised alot more during my teen years, working out and looking good seems to get more respect from people, luckily its not too late for me at 22, I'm going to get those 6-pack abs in the next couple months!
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post #20 of 40 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 07:15 PM
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I had a lot of developmental delays as a child, but I think it was due to the fact that I had an undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder. I didn't learn how to tie my shoes until I was around 16, I couldn't brush my hair until I was twelve, I was still playing barbies in my mid-teens, etc. I was always delayed & was always humiliated by it, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't figure out how to do the seemingly "simple" things others my age had been doing for years & I was very childlike. My mom just got mad at me over it & yelled at me because she assumed I was purposefully not doing those things. (Why would a sixteen year old purposefully not tie their own shoes????.... but that's what she thought.) I'm still very delayed in life, but that's all due to social issues & not to developmental delays.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” _Dr. Seuss
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