It's difficult not to have any friends in college. - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-27-2019, 02:00 PM Thread Starter
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I hate feeling left out most of the time when talking to a group of people that i know. I don't have much to say most times and i think because of this i am not invited to most places.The very few friends that i have are at different places and i don't feel welcome with the ones that i am with because i don't talk much and so they don't talk to me. I tried hanging out with different groups but i just can't fit in any group because i don't know what to say. How can i laugh at their lame jokes or give a funny reply to avoid being made fun of? It's so difficult to make conversation, so now i find myself alone most of the time to avoid people. Anyone else with this problem?
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-27-2019, 05:49 PM
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Me too. I do I have a few friends that I wish I hung out with more often though. It's weird because I want to have more friends but I don't have the actual drive to hang out with people at all. I don't care how it seems to others but I was built this way. I also can't force anyone to be my friend and I also don't want to.

I'm mostly focusing on how to improve myself to help me better prepare for this world.

She was very beautiful. Kind, but sad.
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-28-2019, 09:06 PM
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Idk, I somehow managed thorough it. Wasn't even that hard actually, at least for me...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-29-2019, 09:44 AM
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Maybe just find similar interests that you have with people and talk about those. My problem is no one seems to want to learn anything that they don't already know and it's hard to talk about interests that they are not also interested in. Sad but active listeners aren't common. So if you're gonna have to take that role on just steer the conversation towards an interest you both have
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 10:58 AM Thread Starter
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[QUOTE=Ayushi7;1093846743]
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Originally Posted by Rumplesty View Post
Me too. I do I have a few friends that I wish I hung out with more often though. It's weird because I want to have more friends but I don't have the actual drive to hang out with people at all. I don't care how it seems to others but I was built this way. I also can't force anyone to be my friend and I also don't want to.

I'm mostly focusing on how to improve myself to help me better prepare for this world.
Yeah me too. There was a time when i would try really hard to make a conversation with someone cooler than me. Now, i just don't care to try hard, i just wish to connect with people without trying hard like before.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 11:01 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Shy extrovert View Post
Maybe just find similar interests that you have with people and talk about those. My problem is no one seems to want to learn anything that they don't already know and it's hard to talk about interests that they are not also interested in. Sad but active listeners aren't common. So if you're gonna have to take that role on just steer the conversation towards an interest you both have
Those are the only times people who would talk to me when we find similar interests. As soon as we run out of any topic they stop talking and ignore me again as usual. It feels extremely lonely but i have to go through it.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 11:07 AM
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How are you doing academically? You do know the point of college is to secure your survival, right? Friends will abandon you when the chips are down. Friends are nice to have but they're not everything.

/WYSD
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 07:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shy extrovert View Post
Maybe just find similar interests that you have with people and talk about those. My problem is no one seems to want to learn anything that they don't already know and it's hard to talk about interests that they are not also interested in. Sad but active listeners aren't common. So if you're gonna have to take that role on just steer the conversation towards an interest you both have
I've found this to be true for most people.

I know a few who are open minded enough and willing to discuss almost anything, and I usually get along with them very well.

I tend to dislike people who share interests but have no interest to go past those interests

Then again, it's hard to say if I'm any better, as I'm not interested in discussing parties and all that stupid stuff ( ) people seem to enjoy.

I've found that it works best for me, to just hang around with 'people I know' when it fits, rather than trying to make friends. (Although some of them seem to consider me their friend - I don't.)

Unmeaningful friendships for the sake of having friends are the biggest waste of resources.

"If you need a safe space, see a therapist" - Jordan Peterson
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