Is your everyday too much like this? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-28-2007, 01:45 AM Thread Starter
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Is your everyday too much like this?


What is your everyday like?
I hate the way mine is. Same ole same ole.
I dream of balmy tropical getaways with white sand and palm trees and of course no one is around.

I actually get quiet seriously depressed because not much different happens to my days.
I only probably get away on average 2 nights a year.
I guess I have to be happy with that, cause someone else has it worse than me, but it still feels bad.

Am I the only one that feels like alot of people are living it up? I get resentful and bitter.
I feel like a drone.
Sleep, eat, work sleep, repeat joy
jenky

Can anyone offer me a way, on how to appreciate the mundane?

Meditation, mindfulness, joy in simple daily tasks. I feel like a mouse in a wheel, but I think they enjoy that wheel, bleh.

When I feel like this I can't wait to go to bed and hopefully the next day is differerent, but its been my londstanding feeling for a longtime now.

jenky

In the darkest hour the soul is replenished and given strength to continue and endure.
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-28-2007, 06:12 AM
 
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


Yes, I'm going through this upon waking. Everyday is so mundane and nothing seems to change.

Please release me...
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-28-2007, 09:58 AM
 
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


The Power of Negative Thinking
by Remez Sasson

For some reason, most people find it easier to think in a negative way than in a positive manner. It seems that some effort is needed to think positive thoughts, whereas negative thinking comes easily and uninvited. This has much to do with education and the environment one has been living in.

In order to understand how positive thinking works, and how to use it efficiently, it is important to understand the power of negative thinking.

If you have been brought up in a happy and positive atmosphere, where people value success and self-improvement, then it will be easier for you to think positively and expect success. If you have been brought up under poor or difficult situations, you will probably go on expecting difficulties and failure.

From an early age, people let outside influences shape their minds. They view everything through their predominant mental attitude. If their thoughts are positive, that is fine, but if they are negative, their lives and circumstances will probably mirror these thoughts.

If you believe that you are going to fail, you will unconsciously sabotage every opportunity to succeed. If you are afraid of meeting new people or having close relationships, you will do everything to avoid people and relationships, and then complain that you are lonely and nobody loves you.

Do you often think about difficulties, failure and disasters? Do you keep thinking about the negative news you have seen on the TV or read in the newspapers?

Do you see yourself stuck and unable to improve your life or your health? Do you frequently think that you do not deserve happiness or money, or that it is too difficult to get them? If you do, then you will close your mind, see no opportunities, and behave and react in such ways, as to repel people and opportunities. You let the power of negative thinking rule your life.

The mind does not usually judge or examine thoughts and opinions before accepting them. If what it hears, sees and reads is always negative, it accepts this as the standard way of thinking and behavior.

The media constantly bombards the mind with a lot of information about disasters, catastrophes, wars and other negative happenings. This information sinks into the subconscious mind, and let the power of negative thinking grow. By occupying the mind with negative thoughts and expectations one radiate negative energy into the surrounding world, thus creating and recreating more negativity, failures and disasters.

The mind can be directed towards positive thinking or negative thinking. The power of thoughts is a neutral power. The way one thinks determines whether the results are positive and beneficial or negative and harmful. It is the same of energy acting in different ways.

Persistent inner work can change habits of thoughts. You must be willing to put energy and time to avoid negative thinking and pursue positive thinking, in order to change your mental attitude.

Every time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, change it into a positive one.
If you catch yourself visualizing failure, switch to visualizing success.
If you hear yourself repeating negative words, switch to positive ones.
If you hear yourself saying, "I cannot", say to yourself, "I can".
Do you repeat useless and unnecessary negative words and phrases in your mind? Change them to positive ones.

Open your mind to positive attitude, happenings and events. Expect them and think about them, and soon you life will change for the better.

Decide that from today, from this very moment, you are leaving negative thinking behind, and starting on the way towards positive thinking and behavior. It is never too late. Soon your life will turn into a fascinating, wonderful journey.
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© Copyright Remez Sasson

Remez Sasson teaches and writes on positive thinking, creative visualization, motivation, self-improvement, peace of mind, spiritual growth and meditation. He is the author of several books, among which are "Peace of mind in Daily Life", "Will Power and Self Discipline", "Visualize and Achieve" and "Affirmations - Words of Power".

Visit his website and find articles and books filled with inspiration, motivation and practical advice and guidance.
Website: http://www.SuccessConsciousness.com
Books: http://www.successconsciousness.com/ebo ... _books.htm
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-29-2007, 01:30 AM
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


Hi,

I totally relate to your experience. Even mindfulness (so far at least) only does so much for me. There is still a lack of motivation and low self esteem and insecurity. Boredom too.

The best suggestion that I can come-up with is to find ways to re-enliven yourself. To do things and approach everything in a way that is carefree and joyful. One way that I've been discovering is to remember back to a time when anxiety was not such an obstacle. To remember the feelings that went with this time -to remember how you felt about yourself back then; and then to kind of rekindle this feeling again. Sort of latch onto such a feeling.

I've been doing this jsut the last two days (so it is fairly new thing I've been trying) but yesterday and today have been on another level. My confidence and sense of security have taken such blows over recent years. Dealing with all the let downs that have happened; the getting somewhere only to have things fall apart, the long periods of isolation from any real connection with people; being unemployed for long, the list goes on... and it has slowly slowly eaten away at me sense of confidence and in a way that creeps up on a person.

Well, I've been trying this trick (I called it a 'mind trick' in a post I put up because it's sort of a way of manipulating your own mind instead of the world and experiences manipulating it) and it so far is having a really good effect on me. Perhaps it is because my mind works by association.

Sort of like fooling my self into believing that instead of lots of failures that I've had successes ...or maybe 'fooling' is not the right word, when you consider that in a true sense our mind has been manipulated by the world, so why not manipulate our own mind in a way that benefits us (and everyone else anyhow)? It is remembering again the successes and just feeling good and more comfortable with my self and with others. And it is an intuitive thing -it's not so much involving thinking or thoughts, but feelings and remembering how being without (much) anxiety felt.

It also is going back to a more innocent time when the weight of the world was not as much upon a person and there was more of a childlike optimism and openess. -which is a pretty good definition for 'joyful'. ...sort of like how in Zen stories a student will ask the Master, "What makes you joyful?" and the Master answers, "I have already become joy"; (meaning that joyful experiences, or 'doing', come from joyful 'being')

Other than this, I could only recommend doing activities that you enjoy and that you have a natural aptitude for. This can bring back some joy and can inject some more positivity that can then spill into other areas of your life. That way finding 'the joy in the little things' will be much easier.

Also, doing things like volunteer work, creative things, gardening, sport, cooking, etc are great for feeling good.


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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-29-2007, 01:42 AM
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


One last thing is that I read in a book that most people seek to create the experience of 'being' a certain way by 'doing' things that are in line with this.
And that whilst this certainly helps and can effect 'being' (how we feel about ourselves and the world); this is said to be the unskilful way or if not that then it is not "the correct order of things".

That the correct order is that first a person feels happy or generous or joyful and from this state of being do they then act and do happy, generous or joyful things.

Also, because it is said to be circular -that 'being' effects 'doing' and 'doing' then feeds back into 'being'; 'doing' actions that are in accordance with the new state of 'being' that you wish to experience yourself as, will increase the likelihood of being joyful, etc. So it may not be as effective as 'being' a certain way first, but what a person is 'doing' also has an effect on how they feel.

(If you want one explanation for why 'doing' may not be good at bringing about the desired state of 'being', well one explanation that I have read is that the thoughts in the mind that have come about as a result of past experience will often come-up so that such thoughts will 'kill' the new ones that a person is trying to create about themselves. That if a person wishes to act, to use 'doing', in order to create new feelings and beliefs about themselves, that one's old thoughts will step-in killing the new ones. That a person must act fast without thinking otherwise the mind's (negative old) thoughts will kill new thoughts and the experience that goes with them.)
...perhaps I should just copy out the section from the book that I found this in!!!


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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-29-2007, 03:09 PM
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


If you subtract the work part, that's pretty much the way it is for me.

Hyperbole is the best thing ever!!!
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-30-2007, 03:15 PM
 
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


Anytime I try to "be" joyful or create a sense of joy I mostly fail. However, there are times when I do actually succeed but, in a sense, I succeed too well. Instead of feeling depressed or despairing I'm able to create a kind of mild manic state where all is well, all will always be well, and anything is possible. It's hard to describe because it is kind of scary. When I started having some of these minor episodes from time to time I realized that there is a seed of mania in even the most low points I'm at and I don't know if these feelings are exactly healthy even if they are pleasurable. Just a word of caution because sometimes experimenting with your moods can lead to unexpected results. I feel that the most healthy state a person can possibly be in is a state of simple and pure contentment or satisfaction. Joy or bliss or anything else may be kind of upsetting the balance. Too much of a good thing as they say.
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-30-2007, 03:20 PM
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


What is a vacation? I haven't been on one, ever. Unless you count the time I went camping for a week, and returned 10x more miserable than I was to begin with.
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-30-2007, 07:33 PM
 
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


NIN summed it up best, "Everyday is exactly the same."
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-01-2007, 08:01 AM
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


Yeah, it's quite boring.
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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-01-2007, 01:26 PM
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


yea my days are repetetive too. the only time i actually enjoyed them was when i had a partner or a friend because i had someone to do things with

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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-01-2007, 04:18 PM
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


get a hobby or something you enjoy doing




"It's better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than to have an opportunity and not be prepared." -- Whitney Young Jr.
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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 12:44 PM
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Strange Religion
NIN summed it up best, "Everyday is exactly the same."
I was just gonna plug that song here too. It's like my anthem.
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 03:35 PM
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Noca
get a hobby or something you enjoy doing
What about lucky folks like me who don't enjoy anything?
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 07:04 PM
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


You can always try 3D graphics. I find it pretty fun.
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post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 07:43 PM
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Re: Is your everyday too much like this?


Without social contact, my days are gray and uniform.

Open up, it's the FBI Police! I'm Special Agent Detective Sargent Doctor Trenchcoat, and this is my partner The Right Honorable Professor Judge Captain Snake!
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