Is There Anyone 25+ That Hasn't Left "Home" Yet Because Of Anxiety? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-04-2019, 02:07 PM Thread Starter
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Is There Anyone 25+ That Hasn't Left "Home" Yet Because Of Anxiety?


I'm in my late 20's. I've never left home. Most people believe it's because of financial purposes...I let them believe it.

I've never left home because I'm too anxious. "Home" with the parentals has become a security blanket, I'd be too lonely on my own, and I just get so much anxious feelings at the thought of being on my own two feet. I'm not like the rest of humanity. I just don't think I could cope. It's also because I've actually just grown to become quite comfortable at home. Everything I need is around me.

I know the only way to conquer my fears would be to leave home....but i just dont want do. And if you have to want to do these things... I also don't see anything wrong with living at home (It's nice to spend time with your family while you've still got 'em and save money for a house), but societal pressures get really get to me.

I probably could afford to leave home if I really wanted to. But anxiety and what-not holds me back. I can't find anyone on the internet talking about this. Soo...is anyone in a similar situation?


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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-04-2019, 06:32 PM
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Sorta. 31 and living at home. I spend quite a bit of my free time helping out with family, it isn't just me and the parents here. My job could support an apartment but that would be it, it would severely cripple my ability to save if I'm losing hundreds in rent. And I'd be spending most evenings with family anyway to help out.


I honestly don't have a reason to move out yet. No significant other, no goals that require I get out. It's a win/win aside from stunting my personal growth. When I feel too hemmed in I go on a long roadtrip for a week or two, live out of a tent or car.
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 11:34 AM
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Same here. I'm 28 and still living with my parents. Mostly out of fear/anxiety about being on my own. I still help out my family though if they need it.
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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-07-2019, 02:04 AM
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The only reason I lived with my mom so long is because I couldnít afford to live alone...otherwise I wouldíve left in a heart beat. I couldnít you the last time I considered living with any family member a security blanket. Iím absolutely loving living alone & itís only been 3 weeks
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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 05:26 AM
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I'll probably never leave, I'd need a strong motivation to anyway, If anything I'd probably build a house somewhere on our land if I were to move out, or renovate/refurbish one of the two derelict houses currently languishing there.






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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 07:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Cool Ice Dude55 View Post
I'm in my late 20's. I've never left home. Most people believe it's because of financial purposes...I let them believe it.

I've never left home because I'm too anxious. "Home" with the parentals has become a security blanket, I'd be too lonely on my own, and I just get so much anxious feelings at the thought of being on my own two feet. I'm not like the rest of humanity. I just don't think I could cope. It's also because I've actually just grown to become quite comfortable at home. Everything I need is around me.

I know the only way to conquer my fears would be to leave home....but i just dont want do. And if you have to want to do these things... I also don't see anything wrong with living at home (It's nice to spend time with your family while you've still got 'em and save money for a house), but societal pressures get really get to me.

I probably could afford to leave home if I really wanted to. But anxiety and what-not holds me back. I can't find anyone on the internet talking about this. Soo...is anyone in a similar situation?
Late 30ís here, pushing 40 and still at home, but not as okay with it as I used to be. I do not drive despite having a license nor do I have any desire to do so that is a major reason keeping me from being on my own as I rely on family members to get to and from work/appointments. I donít cook, clean, garden and lack the skill to run a household. Honestly, I do not have a desire and really never have to own a house for many reasons. I donít trust anyone and donít like dealing with strangers either.

I am financially stable and debt free so I can afford it. But the only way I will move is if I can move out of this area all together...I cannot stand the city and state I live in now and want to badly move to a nicer neighboring state. Just donít see that happening anytime soon as my anxiety and depression is getting worse.
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 07:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Cool Ice Dude55 View Post
I'm in my late 20's. I've never left home. Most people believe it's because of financial purposes...I let them believe it.

I've never left home because I'm too anxious. "Home" with the parentals has become a security blanket, I'd be too lonely on my own, and I just get so much anxious feelings at the thought of being on my own two feet. I'm not like the rest of humanity. I just don't think I could cope. It's also because I've actually just grown to become quite comfortable at home. Everything I need is around me.

I know the only way to conquer my fears would be to leave home....but i just dont want do. And if you have to want to do these things... I also don't see anything wrong with living at home (It's nice to spend time with your family while you've still got 'em and save money for a house), but societal pressures get really get to me.

I probably could afford to leave home if I really wanted to. But anxiety and what-not holds me back. I can't find anyone on the internet talking about this. Soo...is anyone in a similar situation?

There's nothing wrong with staying at home, if it's really something that you want to do, especially with you have a good relationship with your parents or siblings. It is of course part of north american culture that you "must" leave as soon as possible.
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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 07:51 AM
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I personally, did not leave home until I think I was 28. It was more of a financial issue as I have I had the means too, I would have left.


Now that I live on my own, I would definitely not want to move back home if I did not have too. But at least if some struggles in my current life occur, my mom has told me that she would be fine with my coming back.
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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 11:17 AM
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I got the boot when I was 18. And they still don't want me back, lol.

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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 02:55 PM
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That's the future of mine as well probably... If I still be alive at that time...

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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 04:26 PM
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There was no home to stay in. When I was 18 my dad got rid of our house and moved us into the stepmonster's rundown, crappy one-bedroom condo. They then went traipsing around the world on numerous trips with the money saved.

The rotten old man will have to take care of himself when his health eventually falls apart. Maybe my sister will help since she has some sort of bizarre savior complex. It will all have to be on the old man's dime since she can't even afford her own dog's vet bills much less a plane ticket to California. She can't drive him around either since she doesn't have a license.
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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 06:55 PM
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I got the boot when I was 18. And they still don't want me back, lol.
I recall you mentioning before that you support your family, financially and otherwise. Am I remembering correctly? If so why are you so gracious toward them if they were so callous to you?
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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 07:24 PM
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I recall you mentioning before that you support your family, financially and otherwise. Am I remembering correctly? If so why are you so gracious toward them if they were so callous to you?
Well, mental illness is a pretty serious problem in my family. Schizophrenia, PTSD, GAD, SAD, OCD, impulse control disorder, etc. I have 8 sibs, all of them have diagnosed MH issues, and most of them are too dysfunctional to work or be in relationships. Govt support for mental illness is **** in Canada, so they always need help of one sort or other. (Two of my sibs have been homeless, and a third would have been if I hadn't let them stay with me.)

My parents do provide a lot of support, but they can't take care of everyone because they're really old and don't have a lot of money. So, because I'm more functional than most of my sibs (hard as that may be to believe) I end up having to provide a lot of support myself, so that my sibs don't end up homeless (or, y'know, kill themselves). When your choice is between providing support or letting a sibling be homeless or kill themselves, it's pretty hard to say no.

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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 07:27 PM
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Well, mental illness is a pretty serious problem in my family. Schizophrenia, PTSD, GAD, SAD, OCD, impulse control disorder, etc. I have 8 sibs, all of them have diagnosed MH issues, and most of them are too dysfunctional to work or be in relationships. Govt support for mental illness is **** in Canada, so they always need help of one sort or other. (Two of my sibs have been homeless, and a third would have been if I hadn't let them stay with me.)

My parents do provide a lot of support, but they can't take care of everyone because they're really old and don't have a lot of money. So, because I'm more functional than most of my sibs (hard as that may be to believe) I end up having to provide a lot of support myself, so that my sibs don't end up homeless (or, y'know, kill themselves). When your choice is between providing support or letting a sibling be homeless or kill themselves, it's pretty hard to say no.
You're a better person than I am. I don't think I would have stepped up as you had.
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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 03:37 PM
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I got the boot when I was 18. And they still don't want me back, lol.
XD, why did they kick you out if I may ask ?

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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 05:46 PM
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XD, why did they kick you out if I may ask ?
Bunch of reasons. I dropped out of hs because I was being bullied pretty badly and failing all my classes. I was fighting with my dad and said some stuff I probably shouldn't have. And my dad believes very strongly in tough love. He thought that if I was forced to deal with my problems head-on, I'd eventually figure things out and not turn out like my older siblings (who have serious MH issues).

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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 08:16 PM
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I'll probably stay at home until I find someone I want to move in with.
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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-13-2019, 04:03 PM
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I just need a higher paying job before I move out. My parents want me to move out so staying isn't really an option, although I want to move out anyway. I might feel anxious about it when I'm in a better position to move out, but I don't have a choice.
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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-13-2019, 08:24 PM
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I'm 30 and living at home. It is partly because of my anxiety. Whenever I think about moving out, I get anxious about what happens if I lose my job. I really want to buy a home, but the financial part along with my anxiety has prevented it from happening. Renting an apartment would be safer, but I think I'd get lonely living in a tiny place alone day in and out. And it just seems to make more sense IMO to live at home at this point. As long as I take care of my own bills and help my parents out a bit with theirs. In other cultures it isn't so uncommon.

My plan is to live a home hopefully a couple more years and maybe I can put a down payment on a place. I'm kinda waiting to see what the real estate market does. Right now it's too high for me to afford anything.

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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-15-2019, 10:14 AM
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Nice post. Well me im 26, and I have a job , which is a really good achievement for my case.

Because i have a facial scar that one side is visible and kinda ugly, and yeah..... For example, its the weekend but i havent even left home yet...

I'm currently looking for a surgeon. I went to see one last week, but he didnt wanted to help me.... I just dont know why.
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