Is online confrontation one of your coping mechanisms? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
View Poll Results: Is online confrontation one of your coping mechanisms?
Yes 1 4.35%
No 19 82.61%
Other 3 13.04%
Voters: 23. You may not vote on this poll

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post #21 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 03:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
I'm not sure why you commented this in response to that particular post since I was talking about people in general but anyway I have a lot of anger and hatred for people but mostly in the sense that people are conduits for things I dislike. And tbh it's a bit annoying/patronising that most people can't see that unless they strongly dislike me (removing whatever bias is there for others.) I'm pretty sure I know why and the reason annoys me further (not going to highlight it here because I don't want to open up a discussion but it has been pointed out in a post before by someone who dislikes me.) But no I'm not just hatred and anger, but then neither is anyone.
I probably just picked a post - I don't really pay that close attention. I'm not sure if you're just talking about online but people have other things going on and they may not be that interested.
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post #22 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 03:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harrison View Post
I probably just picked a post - I don't really pay that close attention. I'm not sure if you're just talking about online but people have other things going on and they may not be that interested.
I think you've probably just missed posts where I actually am openly hostile to people tbh. And yes I was talking about online.

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post #23 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 04:26 PM
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I've butted heads a few times with some users here, namely on S&C (but no surprise there), but it's also made me only feel exhausted and crappy. One time was when I was a mod where I attempted to diffuse an argument but I feel like I only ended up getting dragged in it instead. I'm already over-sensitize so putting myself in situations like ones where I get buzzwords thrown at me doesn't help the case. It ends up making me truly think myself of as those things I got called and paranoid that everyone else must think I am them, now.



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post #24 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 04:42 PM
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No lol. Hate that. You have some who may just skim what you take time to write out. Focus on one thing, twist your words. Read a completely different tone than what you're intending. Get weirdly randomly aggresive. Omg the editing things nonstop too lmao. So much bad faith editing. Or they just had a point they wanted to make. It's not a convo, a meeting of the minds, coming to an understanding, it's just saying what they know and want to get out lol.

Yea, not arguing or confronting online. I don't care what anyone thinks long as they're not pushing it on me so all that is a giant no. Whenever I find myself tempted to I just remember it's prob a 13 yr old. Or someone whose opinion I wouldn't care abt irl so no point expending the energy. Even if you "win" the argument afterwards it's like why the hell did I spend so much time arguing with a screen lol. The worst.

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Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #25 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-15-2019, 05:08 PM
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No. I've never gone online trying to confront people if anything I think that people who like getting into personal arguments with strangers on the Internet are pathetic and not worth my time.


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post #26 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-16-2019, 06:29 AM
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Well. I self harm as a coping mechanism (not to be recommended)

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While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND, & INSULT her,
there's a man flirting with her, & reminding her, how wonderful she is.

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post #27 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-16-2019, 09:20 AM
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Clearly, it's a thing with some people, even here on this forum.

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Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
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TROLL ALERT STATUS:
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post #28 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-16-2019, 09:32 AM
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Back in the day day when I was 12/13 it was definitely. I loved acting like i was billy big bollox on the internet and acting like a dick to others, when in reality i was the most insecure shy anxious person in the world. I definitely was a coping mechanism.

Nowadays it couldn't be more opposite! I hate leaving negative opinions anywhere because to have it challenged gives so much anxiety!


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post #29 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-16-2019, 10:23 AM
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Not as a coping mechanism, no. As a this-internet-person-spreads-lies-and-misinformation-and-insults-over-and-over-and-over-without-repercussion thing, yes, but then I usually end up feeling dirty for lowering myself to their level.
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post #30 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-17-2019, 03:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by millenniumman75 View Post
Clearly, it's a thing with some people, even here on this forum.
I would guess there at least were quite a few people like that on this forum. Given how frequent conflicts between users were on here (in the chatroom as well, of course) until it all quietened down more recently. Outside of this site, I have mostly but not always been nice online. When I have been somewhat nasty, it was far too rare to be any kind of coping mechanism. And my outbursts didn't really involve directly attacking other people as such, but more ranting/complaining aggressively about certain things related to some other forums. I do have a pretty foul temper, but it has never usually shown itself that much online for some reason. Though drinking has been known to have an effect as well.

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post #31 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-17-2019, 03:48 AM
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No, I'm terrified of confronting people, even online.

more issues than vogue
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post #32 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-17-2019, 05:36 AM
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one of yours?

one of them?

one of the best

one of the biggest?

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post #33 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-17-2019, 06:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cool Ice Dude55 View Post
Nowadays it couldn't be more opposite! I hate leaving negative opinions anywhere because to have it challenged gives so much anxiety!
That!

I don't get off on arguments online. Although I still say what I mean, when I get challenged it makes me anxious. If I get involved in a big argument, I dread clicking on that thread. I want to bow out of it, but don't want to end up looking like a coward/someone with lack of conviction and thus validate some detestable opinion of the other party. It's a hell spiral.

I left a forum earlier this year because I got into a heated argument with someone over a matter I feel strongly about. The other user was very persistent and I wanted to leave that situation, but the only way to do it was not to use the forum anymore. An important contributing factor was that nobody had my back (or, to be fair, the other user's - it was not a political forum and fuzzy neutrality was the law).

Almost the same thing happened on another forum, where I got ganged up upon by a bunch of people with medieval views, but one person stood up for me in a pretty fierce way and it made all the difference. I still feel anxious when posting there, but haven't quite left.

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post #34 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-17-2019, 07:06 AM
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I'm more interested in my reaction than proving someone wrong.
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post #35 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-17-2019, 01:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LydeaCharlotte View Post
.

I would guess there at least were quite a few people like that on this forum. Given how frequent conflicts between users were on here (in the chatroom as well, of course) until it all quietened down more recently. Outside of this site, I have mostly but not always been nice online. When I have been somewhat nasty, it was far too rare to be any kind of coping mechanism. And my outbursts didn't really involve directly attacking other people as such, but more ranting/complaining aggressively about certain things related to some other forums. I do have a pretty foul temper, but it has never usually shown itself that much online for some reason. Though drinking has been known to have an effect as well.
It's easy to get pulled into it, too.
For me, it was more severe panic attacks from misreading something rather than rage.


For instance, I was in chat many years ago (I don't do chat much), but somebody was kind of bouncing between me and other people and he said:


"TRUTH...YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"


I was like "what?" I wasn't sure what was going on, but I felt so attacked, I left chat. I had no idea it was a quotation from a movie! That guy liked to quote things from movies and songs and I didn't even know it.


I couldn't react to it.

millenniumman75
You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!

TROLL ALERT STATUS:
CHAT -> BERT

FORUMS -> ERNIE
(troll activity on the increase)

WATCH WHAT YOU TYPE!
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post #36 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-17-2019, 01:21 PM
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post #37 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-17-2019, 01:28 PM
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Coping with what mechanism?

Sorry for my English.
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post #38 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-18-2019, 02:24 AM Thread Starter
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Coping with what mechanism?


What?

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post #39 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-18-2019, 02:39 AM
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What?
What does the 'coping mechanism' cope with?

Sorry for my English.
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post #40 of 47 (permalink) Old 05-18-2019, 02:57 AM
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I think there are differing types of this. The offensive type where someone goes out of their way to think of a confrontation of a post they see. And the defensive type where one sees an offputting post or post they irk at and they confront the poster to call them out on it. I don't really find any coping with either, but I do time to time do the defensive type. Especially with trolls. And I guess trolls usually will be doing the offensive type.


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