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-   Coping With Social Anxiety (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/)
-   -   Is online confrontation one of your coping mechanisms? (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/is-online-confrontation-one-of-your-coping-mechanisms-2223423/)

WillYouStopDave 05-13-2019 05:25 AM

Is online confrontation one of your coping mechanisms?
 
This thread is not a statement of opinion. It's just a way for you to express yourself. Obviously, most people do not want to post on a forum where there is constant fighting. But it occurs to me that some people probably do go online looking for a confrontation.

I kind of doubt that many of the regs here do that but whatever. If you ever have this might be a good opportunity to examine something a lot of people probably never say out loud.

*Probably this question is not as carefully worded as it could be. I just crawled out of bed and remembered I was thinking about this the other day and thought it would be an interesting question. I figured I'd throw it out here while I'm thinking of it and hope for the best. :lol

WillYouStopDave 05-13-2019 05:29 AM

I voted other because it's honestly been a really long time since I went online with the direct intention of getting into an argument. I pretty much only had the energy for that when I was a lot younger. It carried on for quite a while because I was used to it and it was hard to stop and let things go.

Anyway, yes. I've done it (as some here well know). I'm not sure if I think it was healthy or not. Probably wasn't good for the other people. I try not to now because arguing makes me tired and makes me feel like crap. I occasionally do the political thing but generally don't do it on SAS. I'm just not as passionate about anything as I used to be.

JEG88 05-13-2019 07:24 PM

A few years ago, yes it definitely my go-to coping mechanism. My loneliness and SA back then were at all-time highs in my life. Now that I have a GF and have progressed a bit in my career, there are other things that occupy my mind rather than letting my SA always take over.


Nowadays, sometimes I do argue in sports-related forums, but not with the purpose of getting into a fight. More so to vent and as a form of release after a stressful day or to release negative energy in a way that is mostly acceptable (sports fan energy type of thing).

Dane 05-13-2019 07:55 PM

I assume you mean as a way to cope with anxiety?

At any rate, for me the answer is no. I don't like confrontation, especially when I'm feeling bad.

andy1984 05-13-2019 08:02 PM

not as a coping mechanism, no.

WillYouStopDave 05-13-2019 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dane (Post 1093716501)
I assume you mean as a way to cope with anxiety?

At any rate, for me the answer is no. I don't like confrontation, especially when I'm feeling bad.

I just mean in general. There are many things that people have to cope with.

roxslide 05-13-2019 08:13 PM

When I was less mature it used to be. I used to be a youtube comment crusader lol. Typically arguing about atheism or some really stupid stuff.

I think I was also active on some other site that I can't remember and I would debate atheism there as well.

Now I'm more passive but still just as ridiculous. I occasionally follow various drama so now I just watch other people argue instead of arguing myself.

Yer Blues 05-13-2019 10:43 PM

I don't know.

Used to get in a lot of fights playing hockey, so I guess I need some form of outlet. I don't get a broken nose for arguing online.

Persephone The Dread 05-14-2019 08:17 AM

Yeah, I kind of feel this thread is about me tbh since I did this a few days ago.

I have always been confrontational/opinionated though and would be moreso if not for social anxiety, so it's not just a coping mechanism it is just a part of my personality anyway.

Suchness 05-14-2019 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread (Post 1093716935)
Yeah, I kind of feel this thread is about me tbh since I did this a few days ago.

I have always been confrontational/opinionated though and would be moreso if not for social anxiety, so it's not just a coping mechanism it is just a part of my personality anyway.

Oh yeah sure, it's all about you isn't it and when the hell are you going to respond to my post about you and your magical portal in the lollipop thread!?

Persephone The Dread 05-14-2019 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suchness (Post 1093716943)
Oh yeah sure, it's all about you isn't it and when the hell are you going to respond to my post about you and your magical portal in the lollipop thread!?

How dare you I hadn't finished editing that post for the 286th time.


I did actually see the lollipop portal thing but I can't reveal my top secret plans.

WillYouStopDave 05-14-2019 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread (Post 1093716935)
Yeah, I kind of feel this thread is about me tbh since I did this a few days ago.

It wasn't. It's just an idea for a thread that has been gestating forever and I never was really interested in making any serious threads on SAS until recently. It pretty much came out of my regret for many of the things I've said to people over time. But also was just a genuine curiosity because it makes total sense that people who feel powerless might do this. Which, again, made me feel kind of bad about getting so angry at people who were probably doing this for that reason and I just saw it as someone being a dick.

Suchness 05-14-2019 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread (Post 1093716945)
How dare you I hadn't finished editing that post for the 286th time.


I did actually see the lollipop portal thing but I can't reveal my top secret plans.

Yeah, ok.

truant 05-14-2019 08:34 AM

I used to be really bad for this. I still struggle with it at times.

It was never a conscious thing. I didn't decide to get into fights, I just did get into a lot of fights.

I was never big on politics or religion or things like that; I wouldn't usually get into fights with people over controversial subjects. The people I used to go after were the people who would pick on other people. Not so much because I felt bad for the person being picked on, but because I had so much stored up anger toward bullies. I would go around harassing people who spent their time harassing other people. Which is a game you can play forever.

Persephone The Dread 05-14-2019 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave (Post 1093716947)
It wasn't. It's just an idea for a thread that has been gestating forever and I never was really interested in making any serious threads on SAS until recently. It pretty much came out of my regret for many of the things I've said to people over time. But also was just a genuine curiosity because it makes total sense that people who feel powerless might do this. Which, again, made me feel kind of bad about getting so angry at people who were probably doing this for that reason and I just saw it as someone being a dick.

Oh OK, well I'm definitely a dick anyway lol.

Persephone The Dread 05-14-2019 11:03 AM

And I've realised something else, about the conditional nature of people's opinions and the meaninglessness of everything I guess. If you piss someone off enough they will usually end up telling you to kill yourself and more generally few people really have any empathy or anything for anyone online and nothing means anything.

ShotInTheDark 05-14-2019 01:34 PM

I guess so, but not really sure though...

harrison 05-14-2019 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread (Post 1093717077)
And I've realised something else, about the conditional nature of people's opinions and the meaninglessness of everything I guess. If you piss someone off enough they will usually end up telling you to kill yourself and more generally few people really have any empathy or anything for anyone online and nothing means anything.

I've never thought of you as a nasty person - your anger is more stated by you - I don't feel it. (if that makes sense) When people ask you something you usually reply in a decent way, and it's not hard to see the type of person you are. You definitely don't seem like you actually want to hurt of offend people. I get the sense you just spend too much time online. (no offence)

SuperSky 05-14-2019 02:38 PM

I voted "other".

I don't go out of my way to get into arguments - usually I barely even have an opinion, or if I do I don't care to argue it with someone who's not going to change their mind anyway. Don't have the energy for that artificial drama.

But if I'm feeling really lonely or invisible or rejected etc. then I will sometimes inject snarky comments or start with some sarcastic stuff to try and get someone to take the bait and either:
a) talk to me so I'm getting some form of (negative) attention, or
b) insult me so I can can feel the sweet sweet pain that I think I deserve in my negative spiral of self hatred.

Persephone The Dread 05-14-2019 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by harrison (Post 1093717197)
I've never thought of you as a nasty person - your anger is more stated by you - I don't feel it. (if that makes sense) When people ask you something you usually reply in a decent way, and it's not hard to see the type of person you are. You definitely don't seem like you actually want to hurt of offend people. I get the sense you just spend too much time online. (no offence)

I'm not sure why you commented this in response to that particular post since I was talking about people in general but anyway I have a lot of anger and hatred for people but mostly in the sense that people are conduits for things I dislike. And tbh it's a bit annoying/patronising that most people can't see that unless they strongly dislike me (removing whatever bias is there for others.) I'm pretty sure I know why and the reason annoys me further (not going to highlight it here because I don't want to open up a discussion but it has been pointed out in a post before by someone who dislikes me.) But no I'm not just hatred and anger, but then neither is anyone.


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