Is majority of social anxiety for everyone peer pressure? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-06-2007, 11:00 PM Thread Starter
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Is majority of social anxiety for everyone peer pressure?

peer pressure from outside sources, the comparisons we make to others and expectations we make on ourselves to be something we're not...

the inability to accept who we are??


When i was a recluse in my room for so many years i didn't feel any of the stuff I'm feeling now being back at school/work - being around people I notice its happening again because of the comparisons i make with them...they have this, i don't have this, i need to be like this or more like this...

When I was in my room, i compared with no one but myself so I was happy...I found contentment and happiness alone yet I knew i wanted to at least give "IT" a try again (Life outside of my room) and do something meaningful and overcome these fears and try to understand...

If i can overcome being alone and finding happiness there i can overcome being around people and finding happiness i just need to find that understanding and acceptance i had when i was alone as well...

hrmmm so how do you look at your "social anxiety"???
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-07-2007, 12:10 AM
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The same understanding and acceptance you had when alone, you can have around people as well. If you find yourself comparing yourself to others, stop that thinking any way you can. It's poison! Also, realize that what other people think doesn't matter. If someone disapproves of what you do or say, who cares? It's just one person, and you probably do a better job than the majority of people out there anyways. Everybody's unique, and that's great, so cherish who you are and what you have to offer to people. Don't criticize yourself for not having some characteristic that somebody else has. You can be happy just by being you, with no pressure, and no expectations from yourself.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-07-2007, 12:41 AM
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re: Is majority of social anxiety for everyone peer pressure

My social anxiety doesn't really get triggered by peer pressure. I've been thinking about it recently and analysing certain things in the past, such as how I used to feel walking down the street etc. or around people in general, and why I felt so anxious.

I think our SA shares that common element of not being happy with who we are, but mine is for a different reason. I've always felt very different to most people I see around in some fundamental way. From the way I walk and move, to the way I think and naturally behave, and to the way I'm hyper-sensitive to things like temperature, odour, noise, light etc. I think I could sense this difference early on so I did my best to blend in, not reveal my interests or sensitivities, and I thought that if I allowed any of that to emerge at all I'd become vulnerable to attack or ridicule. So I'd walk around hyper-vigilant, constantly checking myself, and concentrating extremely hard on behaving like 'normal' people. This naturally leads to much anxiety because you're trying to be something you're not and at the same time detesting what you really are. Since allowing myself my differences somewhat, and even finding the positive in them, the anxiety has decreased dramatically. I think that self-acceptance the only way to really combat it.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-07-2007, 08:09 PM
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re: Is majority of social anxiety for everyone peer pressure

A major part of my anxiety is the fact that I feel so behind compared to other people my age. By 18 normal people have friends, jobs, boyfriends/girlfriends, and a life. I have none of those things which embarrasses me. One of my biggest fears when it comes to meeting new people is them figuring out how behind I am. I can't even imagine what people would think of me if they found out how much of a loser I am.

I know what you mean about comparing yourself to others, I constantly do that, especially now that everyone has a MySpace. It's so easy to find old friends and see what they're lives are like, it can really make you feel like crap.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-07-2007, 11:29 PM
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re: Is majority of social anxiety for everyone peer pressure

Its a marathon not a sprint, plenty of time yet.

Peer pressure and the judgement of others is a powerful force, but you have to find the robust
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