Is looking for meaningful friendships an unrealistic goal? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-02-2015, 05:56 PM Thread Starter
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Is looking for meaningful friendships an unrealistic goal?


I graduated college a little more than a year ago. Still struggling to find a full time job. Thinking about going back to school. A lot is going on in my life and it's been tough coming to terms with the fact that I don't have any friends. I thought college would be the best years and change my social life since high school. But ultimately, I didn't make friends. I had people who used me for their own benefit, and once school was over, nobody thought to text me, get in touch or see how I'm doing. These are people who used to contact me every day for homework, notes or assignments.

I don't really know how to make friends now. Everybody is obsessed with getting settled whereas I still feel young enough to want to meet people I can connect and have conversations with, people who will get just as excited as I do about my passions and stuff. I feel like socializing in your twenties is just getting by with small talk, asking how the weather is, etc. It's probably better than not socializing at all, but it doesn't feel fulfilling.

Am I just being ungrateful and unrealistic to look for meaningful friendships at this age? I just resort to maladaptively daydreaming about belonging in a group of friends then ultimately get frustrated about the realization that these are just daydreams and not real.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-02-2015, 08:49 PM
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The short answer is no. It's not unrealistic. Anxiety creates a hurdle that makes it more difficult than it should be.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-03-2015, 12:16 AM
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We missed out on our youth dude. Our trajectory is completely ruined. I can't imagine finding happiness at this point.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-03-2015, 12:55 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cinnamonqueen View Post
Your post is relatable sweety. And it's ok to look for meaningful relationships, I actually was talking about this with a friend today, the gist of what we talked about is that it's harder making friends as adults.

As kids we have no criteria for friendship but by adulthood we are so guarded and wary of each other and set in our ways. We basically adhere to " you can't sit with us" mentality. No one seeks new friendships.


Just keep swimming my dear
Thank you for your uplifting words and you are so right. It takes patience, but I truly hope it's worth it for the best of all of us here. <3
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-05-2015, 12:21 PM
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You are still just a kid...but in a good way.

Don't be so gloomy.

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Originally Posted by Imbored21 View Post
We missed out on our youth dude. Our trajectory is completely ruined. I can't imagine finding happiness at this point.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-05-2015, 12:25 PM
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No. You can find meaningful friendships. They sometimes come up when you least expect it.
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